Diego Maradona: Spanish for “Class”

If ever there was a quintessential role model for little futballers around the globe, it is Argentina’s Diego Maradona. 

Sure, he had that little cocaine problem that got him suspended from soccer for 15 months in 1991.

And then there was the ephedrine test that got him booted from the 1994 World Cup, the obesity, the hepatitis, the tax evasion, the heart attack, the illegitimate children, the alcohol problem, and the multiple rumors of his death.

You know, the standard stuff for a world-class athlete.

With his track record of being a nice, quiet family man, it really was shocking the way he reacted to recent claims by another soccer legend—Pele—that perhaps Maradona, now the head coach of the Argentine national team, isn’t the type of guy that kids should be looking up to.

Maradona’s response:

“What do you want me to say?  He debuted with a lad.”

Which apparently is Argentine for “he lost his virginity to a dude”.

Just what you might expect from him in response to some criticism from another of the worlds soccer greats - a gay joke.  Stay classy, Maradona.

March 31

1945 - Perhaps the greatest actor-athlete, Gabe Kaplan - otherwise known as Mr. Kotter - is born.  31 years later he gave the world this.

1980 - Yankees pitcher, Chien-Ming Yang is born in Tawain.  There is no truth to the rumor that the doctors chuckled when they heard his last name was Wang.

1985 - The then WWF debuts the first Wrestlemania. Patrick Imig would never be the same.###MORE###

When the top seeded Cardinals lost to Michigan State, the city of Louisville shriveled into depression and in some cases, incidents involving anger and rage were reported.

When the third-seeded ladies team makes it to the Final Four 24 hours after the men’s team misses out on the Final Four, the city of Louisville became nauseous. Like real sick. The majority of Cardinals fans were banking on the men’s team advancing to the Final Four and then a national championship. Those fans are sorely disappointed

Let’s face it: Only family members of players and various motorcycle-riding women enjoy watching women play basketball—and even then, their attention spans decrease. To see how bad things have gotten, we sent our intern Danny to the streets of downtown Louisville to conduct an unscientific survey. Below are a few select quotes from local residents:

“Expecting the men to reach the Final Four and getting the women instead is like expecting Michael J. Fox and getting Jason Batemen as Teen Wolf.” - Randy Kerling, construction worker

“I need to get drunk ASAP.” - Rick Pitino, Louisville men’s basketball coach

“Here I am passing through town on my way back home and I realize, ‘Hey, life ain’t so bad!’” - Billy Gillespie

“No comment.” - Don Imus, national radio personality

Might as well watch the best of Diego Maradona if we’re going to mock him, ya know?