New Orleans Hornets Trademark Names Far More Horrible Than Pelicans

On second thought, the "New Orleans Pelicans" actually has a nice ring to it. That is, of course, when you consider some of the other atrocious monikers being trademarked at the moment. 

Pro Basketball Talk's Kurt Helin reports there are a few other bright ideas floating around the heads of the New Orleans Hornets' brass. Apparently, "Pelicans" is not the only nickname being considering by the franchise.

Oh, no. They have some others that are far worse.

The report points to the blog, Behind the Buck Pass, that went ahead and found the trademarks filed by the league on behalf of the Hornets. 

"

Anil V. George, the attorney who typically handles the trademarks involving NBA brand names, filed trademarks on five new potential franchise names on behalf of the New Orleans Hornets NBA Limited Partnership...

The trademarks:

• New Orleans Pelicans
• New Orleans Rougarou
• New Orleans Mosquitos
• New Orleans Swamp Dogs
• New Orleans Bullsharks

"

There you go, folks—four very great reasons to suddenly love the name, "Pelicans." 

Behind the Buck Pass reminds us that Pelicans are the state bird, and that the name also has ties to a minor league baseball team that played in New Orleans from 1887 to 1959. 

As for the other names, they have you covered on those as well. 

"

Swamp dog listed as a Cajun nickname for an alligator.  

Bullsharks live, among other places, in the Gulf of Mexico.

The term "Rougarou" refers to a beast from Louisiana folklore, a monster from oral traditions that varies—depending on the tale—from a werewolf-like blood-seeking beast to a boogeyman.

"

As for mosquitoes, well, they suck, both literally and figuratively. I would, however, like to add Rougarou as my next favorite name behind Pelicans, but only so I can sound like Scooby-Doo every time I say their name. 

Now, I never thought I would write this—let alone think it—but the Pelicans moniker is by far the best option on the table for the New Orleans Hornets. 

You evil geniuses have swayed my stubborn heart into your camp.

I have no way of knowing if these trademarks were supposed to leak, but it seems to me that the best way to get people on board with an awful name is to provide some atrocious alternatives. 

Smooth move, Hornets. 

Follow @gabezal