PGA Tour Embarks On a New Marketing Journey

You might find this difficult to believe, but apparently the PGA tour has taken a cue from the LPGA Tour by relaxing its strict dress code for players in an effort to attract more fans.

I, for one, am excited to see what the future holds, if "the future" is a euphemism for underpants.

The genius marketing effort is being misreported by the "mainstream press" as a funny and isolated situation where Henrik Stenson's caddy just happened to not pack his rain gear in that Rodney Dangerfield sized golf bag that she carries for him.

"Oops, I guess I forgot your extra pants today, what was I thinking?"

Officially, the situation then coincidentally escalated to a point where Mr. Stenson, a professional golfer who could probably knock the beer cans out of both of John Daly's hands while he played in the group ahead, hits his drive into some deep mud.

The most reasonable course of action when this happens, I've always thought, is to completely disrobe, then discuss your options with your caddy.

Sweden's Henrik Stenson, in order to avoid looking silly with mud on his clothing for the remainder of his round, decided to not only remove his shoes and socks, as is normally the case, but also his pants and shirt. From the look of his hair, he also removed his hat.

I don't think there was any risk of splashing mud all the way up onto his hat, but he would look really ridiculous with nothing but a hat on, wouldn't he?

This is the NBA equivalent of Kobe Bryant...

No…

Manu Ginobli deciding that for the fourth quarter he would perform better without his clothes on.

All that extra weight is negatively affecting his ability to jump.

No fewer than 38 professional photographers and three different television camera crews captured the situation. It was probably the first and last time this Swedish professional golfer has had to worry about paparazzi catching him in a compromised situation.

The word inside PGA Tour headquarters is that the recent financial crisis and a long injury to golf's biggest draw, Tiger Woods, has exposed the pale underbelly of some of professional golf's weaker event. Drastic action had to be taken in order to offset a lack of excitement from the traditional golf fan.

Let's call it golf's version of a stimulus package because, well, could we really call it anything else?

No longer will the PGA cater all marketing efforts towards conservative, cigar smoking, stock trading, overweight, country club members in plaid pants, or as I like to call them, the "new poor.”

The PGA Tour thinks that it can significantly increase the fan base in the two key growth demographics that will thrive under the redistribution policies creating a brand new American financial system, older women and gay curious men.

Since, money is really tight for the Tour, the marketing department decided that a little guerrilla marketing from the grassroots level was their best option.

My sources inside the locker room have indicated that each week one player will be chosen at random by the Tour Wives Association and notified through a rotten banana being left in his locker after the Wednesday practice round.

This player must devise a legitimate reason to undress during television coverage. It's all very “hush-hush.”

Most players are on board with anything that will preserve their ridonkulously posh lifestyle of flying all over the world to play golf all day every day for millions of dollars.

Tiger Woods asked to be notified in advance so he could sign a Hanes sponsorship agreement and Colin Montgomery asked if he would have to remove his bra.