NBA Draft Running Diary

6:00 p.m. CT - We're coming to you live from my living room in Oconomowoc, Wisconsin and some of my buddies are online ready to contribute throughout the night. The choice of food tonight is pizza being brought from my buddy Jason and beer. A classic safe choice but with the right toppings and combination chemistry has a lot of upside.

6:04 - ESPN's coverage starts with the big desk at MSG with the always professional Mike Tirico, Mark Jackson who was unbelievable as a color man in the Finals, Stephen A. Smith (no, he hasn't yelled yet) and Jay Bilas who will either add to lower your vocabulary.

6:06 - We've now already heard from Ric Bucher (the best looking man in sports journalism) to talk about the 1,458 different trade scenarios available. I've never been more excited that this many incoherent GM's are conspiring for trades. I'm giddy!

6:08 - The winner of biggest rumor of the night as of 6:08 is Ray Allen to the Celtics. Stephen A. Smith is yelling already about how much money Boston will make with this deal. "Congrats to you Mark, eight minutes in and you've already got Stephen A. going, thanks." What happens when everyone on your network knows you're a running joke? Is Stephen A. Smith the black Dick Vitale?

6:10 - A perfect segway as ESPN goes to Vitale at his home office in Florida. Not only should I be producing this draft but also I want a house like that.

6:13 - According to Bilas, the NBA is 70 percent pick and roll. I think he's being a little generous; I'd have it as 99.9 percent.

6:14 - The biggest upset of the draft! Kevin Durant is wearing a pink dress shirt. I don't want to hear it's coral, light peach or whatever. It's pink; I've noticed Tiger has had this problem with his classic Sunday "red" attire. Since he went to pink, he's less aggressive and has less how should I say this, wins. Does Seattle have to reevaluate its thoughts before taking the stud from Texas? Answer: no.

6:17 - If you had 6:17 in your First awkward draft interview pool, pick up your check.

6:19 - Apparently Noah thinks "representing New York City where I'm from" means dressing like Mister Rodgers and sporting the Carrot Top hairdo.

6:23 - Maybe you're not a cynical as me but did the Andy Katz "inside access"

6:23 - Tirico just says Michael Jordan has both hands on the wheel of the draft for the Bobcats. INSERT TRAFFIC ACCIDENT JOKE HERE.

6:26 - My buddy Jason arrives with Pizza Hut pepperoni (a solid pick with major upside) wearing the classic Oscar Robertson Bucks jersey. What would Oscar think about drafting Yi? Jason just asks, "So what are the four teams he'll play for?" My response "Not Milwaukee."

6:28 - My buddy Jason during the Favorite Five commercial with Barkley "Couldn't D-Wade afford a new ring tone?" That's the only problem he has for this commercial? "Okay maybe the sweater too!" At least he brought food.

6:30 - David Stern making his intro speech. I was getting food and missed most of it but I'm sure this is how it went. "Tonight we honor my decision to institute the 19-year-old draft rule. After this night, I will be announcing my candidacy for the 2008 presidency."

6:35 - Oden is picked. The first pick where Stern doesn't have to misstep a pronunciation or stumble around a high school name. Good for him

6:36 - Jason's reaction to the scripted Portland draft room shot with 10 dorky looking white males with glasses wearing Portland hats and holding up a jersey. "That was really lame!" I can't add anything more.

6:37 - The Las Vegas/Oklahoma City/Kansas City Sonics are now on the clock. Wait, I'm being told they are still located in Seattle. They take Durant.

6:42 - Kevin Durant's mother fought through the tears to say that he had a coach that led him throughout the process. Don't pat yourself on the bat so fast Rick Barnes, that didn't mean you!

6:45 - Kevin Pritchard was interviewed apparently immediately after taking some mood relaxers. It's my understanding the process between Oden and Durant was long and (LONG PAUSE) difficult.

6:47 - Hawks select Al Horford. HE'S FROM THE DOMINICAN REPUBLIC?! Apparently he already knows the drill about turning down a shot at Team USA, if you can't fake an injury, fake international citizenship.

6:51 - Mark Jackson just said the Hawks made a mistake with this pick. I think he could've taken Durant at 3 and the knee-jerk reaction is to rip the Hawks.

6:52 - Grizzlies select Conley Jr. With that pick, Jerry West officially announces his retirement with a press release similar to M.J.'s "I'm back" fax. "I'm out!"

6:53 - ESPN just called him amidixitious with both hands. At least they didn't write amphibious with both hands.

6:54 - Jason talking on the phone just said Yi had least of four teams and I forget who they are. Nobody remembers Jason, no worries. Boston is on the clock, Yi will go there because the amount of cold weather and white Irish people.

6:55 - TRADE! Seattle sends Ray Allen in a trade for the #5 pick. Oh, Mr. Ainge Paul Pierce is on the phone. He wants to know where he'll be playing next season.

6:56 - Green is forced to wear a Celtic hat until the trade is finalized. This rule needs to change because it's way too awkward.

6:59 - MILWAUKEE TAKES YI!

7:03 - My buddy Jason screams "THEY TOOK HIM!" Yi becomes the first Chinese citizen in Milwaukee, a historic day for the Brew City! "They better never put him and Villanueva on the same floor."

7:04 - LOT OR CURSING FROM JASON. He's now went from stage 2 to 3 and begging. "We have a good team, trust us."

7:06 - Ric Bucher just said Milwaukee GM Larry Harris never saw Yi play. What's the similarity to committing millions to a player you've never seen? This is the most expensive blind date in history.

7:08 - Minnesota is on the clock. What will Kevin McHale do? Wait I have to get into character, put on the ugly sweater, get an upper Minnesota accent and offer Mark Blount 55 million dollars.

7:10 - David Stern announces Corey Brewer to the T-Wolves in a voice inflexition that either says, "obviously he's the choice" or "Finally McHale made a obvious pick."

7:12 - Charlotte is on the clock. I think Rachael Nichols just said Mr. Jordan (the executive) spent the day deciding this crucial pick while on the golf course, dog track, casino and motorcycle track.

7:17 - CHARLOTTE PICKS BREDAN WRIGHT, A UNC GUY! HUH, what were the Vegas odds on this?

7:18 - Jason after Bilas' joke of Michael Jordan should've worn a mask because this is a steal, "These guys are on their game tonight." Bilas: he runs the floor like a deer. "So according to Jay Bilas he runs the floor till he sees lights and freezes!" Welcome to Wisconsin. Just wait until Charlotte needs the #1 overall pick and tanks games so Wright will pull his hamstring and act like a deer whose just been shot.

7:21 - Was that Bilas joke worse than "he can't guard the chair I'm sitting in for Adam Morrison. Ironic he's a Bobcat too, right?

7:24 - My worst fear has come to visualization. Noah to the Bulls!

7:25 - Jason: WORST FRONTCOURT EVER! Doesn't he look like Sideshow Bob? Tirico mentions that Noah was the face of college basketball. What an ugly mug for NCAA hoops. Classic Skiles pick because Noah's not a superstar and they drafted a player who according to Bilas "is a long way off offensively". Apparently Chicago is trying its lets win with 60 points per game theory again.

7:30 - So here in this room Jason's Bucks took a player who may not leave his home country and may start a war with the Chinese government. My Bulls just took the worst offensive player in the Top 10.

7:32 - Kings take Spencer Hawes. Hmm.. Hawes will be in the same division as Greg Oden and Amare Stoudemire. Over/under on the Shawn Bradley question of how many times will the big white guy get dunked on: 52.

7:33 - Spencer Hawes is apparently going to work on his athleticism. What does that mean? Similar to the South Park episode when Stan becomes black due to surgery? How does one accomplish this?

7:34 - According to John Paxson: We need size. Not sure why? We think he fits in perfectly. Why? We had a lot of conversations but nothing came together. Why? He brings a set of skills we don't already have. What are those John? Mike Tirico missed out on 5 FOLLOW UP QUESTIONS, WITH ONE WORD: WHY? This should be the headline in every Chicago paper tomorrow morning: WHY?

7:35 - Hawks select Acie Law. They got the best low post scorer in the draft and the most ready to play now point guard. Was Billy Knight banned from the building?

7:43 - Jason: "I think Sal Palantino just drives around Philadelphia until ESPN calls and says Sal, we need you. The Sixers have 3 picks."

7:45 - SAS (yes, I'm now tired of typing his full name) makes a Burger King reference and Mark Jackson says "no, no cheese steak." These guys are on fire tonight! Why can't Mark Jackson have done color for The Finals to make them interesting? Oh yeah, he tried.

7:49 - They continue to have ESPN original movies but Playmakers wasn't realistic. "They're wasn't dog fighting in Playmakers." Seriously good point, can't we rename Playmakers series, the Pacman Jones story?

7:50 - NEW ORLEANS PICKS THADDEOUS YOUNG.

7:51 - Billy Knight said Law reminds him of Mark Jackson. Two things: Would he have said that if he wasn't at the desk? 2. He just said "except Mark was a better facilitator and Law is a better scorer so despite being completely different players, they are the same! Welcome to the logic of Billy Knight!

7:52 Jason: who doesn't play right away as a NBA first rounder except Darko?" It just hit me the Pistons model that Paxson and Skiles have tag teamed on just completed with the pick of the 2007 Darko. Stab me in the heart now!

7:57 - CLIPPERS ON THE CLOCK. ESPN just showed Elton Brand as a cornerstone of the franchise. Who the Bulls traded straight up for Tyson Chandler, I'm officially depressed.

7:58 - LA takes Al Thornton who is the biggest sleeper of the draft. World-class athlete and somebody Dunleavy can use off the bench.

8:00 - Rodney Stuckney and Nick Young are still in the green room. Seriously, this has to be the only form left of adult kickball left we're somebody is the last and most ashamed player taken.

8:03 - Is anybody concerned that after the all the jokes had been made in Clerks 2 about the Transformers, the next summer the Transformers movie comes out? Alias is already in line for tickets.

8:04 - Tirico just said the Pistons were a couple stops away from the Finals, try ONE STOP during Lebron's 48-point blast. JUST ONE.

8:05 - Pistons just picked Stuckey. Good point for them because he is a combo guard they'll love and a pick that makes sense.

8:05 - Bilas says he's a poor man's Dwayne Wade. Now I know why we should care for the less fortunate.

8:12 - Jason: Is this Nick Young movie 'Through the Fire' 2"

8:13 - The Knicks trade is announced at MSG! Channing Frye, Steve Francis for Zac Randolph, Dan Dickau and Fred Jones.
Draft day 2007 is a night when Isaiah makes a great move, Billy Knight makes two solid lottery picks and John Paxson falls asleep at the wheel with the #9. Just checked the weather report for tomorrow, apparently the sun is coming up.

8:14 - SAS is PUMMMMMMMMPED! I can't tell if the Knicks did really well or really bad because he's yelling a lot. My old college buddy Nate e-mails me with this "What decibel level will Stephen A Smith be at before the draft is over?" My response: between jet plane and earthquake. Nate: I'm leaning toward jet plane. Plus like a jet plane if you wind up behind it, you get blown away.

8:15 - Nets pick Shaun Williams from Boston College. He was dismissed from his team for being arrested on a marijuana charge. I won't say New Jersey is the best place for him but......

8:16 - Golden State takes Italian guard Maco Belinelli. I know nothing about him but like every Italian he knows how to dress and he was Stern's first challenging pronunciation.


8:27 - Nate during the Kobe Bryant conversation: It's like SAS thinks it's the 1950s or something and to be heard he thinks you have to shout cause the mics don't work that well. Here comes the jet wash!

8:28 - Lakers take Javaris Crittenden. Dickie V talks for 40 uninterrupted seconds before he's interrupted. You'd think this would be a great thing but the interrupter is Stephen A. Smith. I was unable to understand what they were yelling about over the sounds of nails on a chalkboard and kittens dying in the background.

8:34 - Miami is on the clock and Jason is chanting "ALANDO TUCKER!" Hey Jason, the second round called and Alando Tucker has saved you a table.

8:35 - HEAT TAKE JASON SMITH FROM COLORADO STATE. White guy that couldn't lead his Mountain West team to the NIT, Shaq must be thrilled.

8:35 - Jason: I'm tired of Bilas saying terrific talent. Two hours into the draft ladies and gentlemen and the upside on alliteration has officially worn off.

8:36 - Lakers take Javarris Crittenden.

8:37 - After Mitch Kupchak answers the Jim Grey question of is anybody on your roster untradeable with "no and I don't think any general manager can say yes". Jason and I raise our hand and say "yes, KOBE BRYANT". Proving once again we're not GM's.

8:39 - Kupchak says the league isn't the same as five years now. There's a salary cap (proving he shows up to work every day) and poison pills (POISON PILLS?!!! Why hasn't there been a Outside the Lines special on this?)

8:41 - The Sixers at No. 21 take Cook from Ohio State and then trade the pick and cash for Smith. LADIES AND GENTELMEN, WE HAVE A WINNER FOR MOST CONFUSIONING DRAFT DAY TRADE!

8:43 - Rod Thorn discusses his pick of Williams and his pot habit. There has to be a clause in the contract that minority owner Jay-Z is not allowed to come in contact with the newest Net. Right? Right?

8:46 - Charlotte takes Jared Dudley at 22. Dickie V just recycled his comments about last year's ACC player of the year J.J. Redick.

8:49 - Spike Lee just said and I quote, "I just think Isaiah knows what he's doing". He's drunk, that's my only explanation for a highly intelligent man like Spike can think Isaiah is a good executive. He's clearly lost his mind, that's it. Spike says "the brother from DePaul" is whom Isaiah is taking at 23. THAT'S THE MYSTERY TO ALL OF THE KNICKS MOVES! SPIKE IS THE KNICKS ADVISOR TO BASKETBALL OPERATIONS!

8:51 - Wilson Chandler goes the Knicks at 23. Who is he, "the brother from DePaul".

8:53 - Maybe the basketball world has fallen off the axis it's rolled along on for the past five years. Isaiah is smart, Billy Knight is intelligent, and John Paxson is a moron. I'm not prepared for this turn of events.

8:55 - Portland has bought the #24 and Mike Tirico asked the question everyone and by everyone I mean me was wondering. "What does the #24 go for?" Bucher: Probably 3 million. Huh? Why don't move teams BUY picks? How much was the #1 or #2 worth, 100 million, 200 million?

8:57 - Portland takes Rudy Fernandez.
8:58 - The live look in to the Portland draft. C'mon guys do the corny and planned out applause for the pick. C'mon! There ya go!

9:02 - Utah takes Morris Almond at 25 who will be able to fill it up at the Delta Center. Reminds me a lot of a Byron Russell-type. Another smart pick by the Jazz that Jerry Sloan can definitely use right away.

9:10 - Houston selects smallish guard Aaron Brooks. Jason: so the Rockets just picked another Skip to my Lou? Me: Skip to my Lou? Jason: You're kidding right? You didn't know Rafer Alston's And-one tour name was Skip to my Lou? This lead me to wonder why doesn't professional leagues don't adopt nicknames for players like Skip to my Lou and He Hate Me.

9:15 - They just showed the Boston/Seattle trade graphic and I'm confused. How did either team think this deal works out for either team? Last time I checked Boston is building a team around Paul Pierce and last time I checked Ray Allen IS A SHOOTING GUARD! Seattle has apparently decided that having a trio of small forwards is a great thing for a coach they haven't hired yet! Good luck to both!

9:18 - With the 27th pick, Detroit selects Arron Affalo and since OBVIOUSLY Chauncey Billups will not be back in Mo-town, they've successfully reloaded the guard position.

9:20 - Before the 28th pick, Jay Bilas uses the word UPSIDE! THREE HOURS IN is the first reference to upside. It was almost like ESPN was intentionally restricted the word usage and Bilas slipped up. Jason claims Dickie V used upside at least 30 times and I missed it. Quite possible.

9:24 - Spurs drafted Thiago Splitter from Brazil. He won't join the Spurs for at least a year. So essentially the Spurs just completed a foreign version of a "listen we just won the title so you know what pass" on their first round pick.

9:31 - Phoenix takes Alando Tucker. At #30. He goes from below zero temperatures and the boring Bo Ryan style of play that revolves around a half-court basketball game on both ends to the run-and-guy offense in Arizona led by Steve Nash, Shawn Marion and head coach Mike D'Antoni. CONGRATULATIONS ALANDO. Remember when you getting you're first alley-oop from Nash and running the lane on a 3-on-2 with Nash and Marion that it's a dry heat too.

9:35 - The consensus view on the final pick of the first round by Philadelphia is Josh McRoberts from Duke. You can't go to Duke and not be a first rounder, right?

9:37 -  Sixers take a skinny Finnish guard to end the first round. He's from Honka, Finland. INSERT YOUR FAVORITE PHILY HONKY FROM HONKA QUOTE HERE!

My final draft thoughts:
Congrats to the Portland Trailblazers for being the best up-and-coming team in the Western Conference, the Knicks look as if they are turning it around, the Sonics and Celtics combine for a confusion trade that stockpiles small forwards in Seattle and two-guards in Boston. I'd love to tell you I know what the Bulls are thinking - I can't. Paxson and Skiles have decided we can keep attempting offensive mediocrity in the East we can't lose! This is depressing and now I'm gonna burn my Michael Jordan jersey. The coverage was scary at times and conservative at times. ESPN needs to get Hubie Brown back for draft night. Jason is on the phone trying to get Yi to go to the press conference tomorrow afternoon. It's not looking good and the Chinese people/government hate Wisconsin. Thanks to Larry Harris I now have to sound the alarm, stay away from windows and head to the basement. Good night to all.