Miami Marlins: 2-3 Record Through Five Games Shows Nothing

He told umpire Hunter Wendelstedt that he wasn't "even a pimple on your daddy's rear." After a game against the Boston Red Sox that saw him tell his pitcher to walk Dustin Pedroia, he explained that he must be the "worst manager in the history of baseball, walking a guy that just came up from Big Brown." And, this last one, may foreshadow his fate:  "I'm not going to quit. I'm not a quitter. When I want to quit, I'll do a lot of stupid things and make sure they fire me and get paid."

Manager Ozzie Guillen's Marlins, five games into the season, are 2-3, and have witnessed things both on and off the field that no major league ball player will probably ever see happen again. From the Opening Night festivities, to Guillen's recent comments, distractions have filled the clubhouse.

The inaugural game at Marlins Park most likely turned out to be far from what owner Jeffery Loria envisioned when he began to get ideas. He simply wanted Miami, and that is what he got. What he didn't realize, though, was Miami has its good parts, and like every city, has some bad.

The night started with former professional boxing legend Muhammad Ali. Ali's visit to Marlins Park was surprising to many, as Parkinson's has slowed down what was once a quick, action-packed life of one of America's many heroes. As the crowd went crazy and chanted "ALI! ALI! ALI!", Jeffery Loria held Ali's hand, and afterward said that "he was still strong and sturdy" as he tightly grasped his hand. Ali handed the first pitch to Hanley Ramirez and then stopped for some photos before exiting through the center field wall.

The following gesture, which came directly after the national anthem was played by Jose Feliciano,  added a nice touch. As a family stood adjacent to the mound, a soldier serving in Afghanistan appeared on the large center field screen. Through all of the tears, which were obviously expected as a family was somewhat reunited with a loved one, the host of Marlins Vision began to question the group.

"How long has your brother been gone?" she asked. "A month or a year" was the young boy's response.

Josh Johnson's 2012 debut didn't go as planned, as he surrendered three early runs and saw the Marlins, who were escorted onto the field by women in "tropical" outfits, lose their first game, 4-1.

It was then time to get the away schedule started in Cincinnati, a place the Marlins have never played well at. After going through two opening ceremonies, the Marlins were able to take one of the three games and head off to Philly.

Off the field was where it all started. Marlins manager Ozzie Guillen, who was being interviewed for an upcoming article in Time magazine, created controversy.

"I respect Fidel Castro. You know why? A lot of people have wanted to kill Fidel Castro for the last 60 years, but that [S.O.B.] is still there."

Guillen's comments immediately created conflict, and lead him to receive a five game suspension from the Marlins.

"I was saying I cannot believe somebody who hurt so many people over the years is still alive," Guillen said. "I'm very sorry about the problem, what happened," he added. "I will do everything in my power to make it better... I know it's going to be a very bumpy ride."

Bumpy is an understatement. The Marlins had to know what they were getting into. After all, they were dying to have Guillen manage this new team, and wisely knew that he would help lure in key players. However, they also had to acknowledge that he was going to make questionable comments.

Just five games into the 2012 season, with a record of 2-3, Guillen's words are not yet supported by his team's record. And they may never be. Yoenis Cespedes signing with Oakland may look better now than it ever will.