Cubs Controversy: Blow Up Wrigley Field

The current owner of the Chicago Cubs, Sam Zell, wants to sell the naming rights of Wrigley Field. Many Cubs fans, writers, and politicians are screaming as if someone was trying to land a spaceship on top of Soldier Field (wait, they did that already!).

I say, why stop with a simple name change? Let's go all the way and blow up Wrigley Field to build a new ballpark. One that has the amenities the players want, the revenue-generating capabilities the owners need, and the creature comforts the fans deserve.

First off, the name "Wrigley" can already be considered a corporate name. Wrigley's Chewing Gum just happened to be the name of the company belonging to the former owner of the team.

Second, the whole thing is silly anyways because the couple millions that might be derived from selling the naming rights would barely pay for a utility infielder with today's salaries.

I am suggesting something much bolder and effective: a modern ballpark with parking (imagine that!), a real bullpen, and a spacious clubhouse with practice facilities. Also a sliding roof overhead so that the often nasty Chicago weather can be invited in or tuned out at the flip of a switch. More luxury suites would bring in considerably more revenue that the eventual owner (once Zell sells) will hopefully use to establish a winning team.

Oh but Bob, what about the beautiful shrine that is Wrigley Field? Hey, you say shrine, I say antiquated, rat-infested, dank cellar of a bandbox. It puts the team at a constant disadvantage and robs the loyal Cubs fans of the comforts that the rest of the baseball world enjoys.

How about a giant TV screen and a place to park your car? The ability to go to a game in April, May, and September (and hopefully October), and not have to wear layers of clothing? Not to mention eliminating, or at least reducing, the effect the wind has on the outcome of the games.

Listen folks, Chicago wasn't named the "Windy City" because of the weather, it was due to the hot air spewed by windy politicians. One day the wind blows out favoring fly ball hitters and making a mockery of an otherwise solid pitching staff. The next day the wind blows in favoring small ball.  How can you build a team with those variables?

Don't forget that while the rest of the MLB plays mainly night games, the Cubs are forced to beg the neighborhood for a pittence of night games, and it's throwing players' body clocks off. Let's see how the neighborhood cries when their property values go down in flames as the Cubs leave the neighborhood, huh?

So, change the name? Sure, and while you're at it bring a bulldozer or two. Let's even the playing field, so to speak, and finally end this hundred year drought.