10 Hilarious World Football Headlines

Peter Webster@@petercwebsterContributor IIIFebruary 23, 2012

10 Hilarious World Football Headlines

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    Hilarious football headlines—when written right—can make a newspaper fly off a shelf or cause an Internet site to receive massive amounts of hits.

    When someone gets a headline wrong—think ESPN's Anthony Federico's headline regarding the New York Knicks Jeremy Lin—the fallout can be pretty horrendous.

    Fortunately, these headlines caused no sackings to occur, but some people did find them a little near the knuckle.


Super Caley Go Ballistic Celtic Are Atrocious

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    Somehow it was The Sun who came up with this great headline following the shocking result between Scottish minnows Inverness Caledonian Thistle and the mighty Celtic in 2000.

    A spoonful of sugar, anybody?

New Cheque for Czech Cech

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    I have to apologize for this particular headline, because it was one I actually recall reading myself, yet I can't find any mention of it on the Internet.

    Needless to say, the article was in reference to Chelsea goalkeeper Petr Cech receiving a pay raise for signing a new contract with the Stamford Bridge outfit.

    Cech is from the Czech Republic, and he was given a new cheque. Get it?

    If you are American, then substitute the word cheque for check, and it may make more sense.

Old Lady Unable to Master BATE at Home

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    This bit of genius was in reference to Italian team Juventus—nicknamed the Old Lady—who were unable to beat Belarusian side FC BATE in a Champions League game back in 2008.

    It's a little naughty but technically accurate.

Keegan Fills Schmeichel's Gap with Seaman

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    This was Sky Sports' headline following the news that Manchester City had signed David Seaman in order to replace the departing Peter Schmeichel.

    Needless to say that Kevin Keegan was the then Manchester City manager, and Sky Sports changed their headline soon after.

Young Boys Wankdorf Erection Relief

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    These just seem to get ruder, don't they?

    But I assure you, it's all above board.

    Young Boys are a Swiss football team who had recently finished the construction—or erection—of their brand-new stadium.

    The stadium is entitled the Stade de Suisse Wankdorf stadium.

Fucks off to Benfica

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    This headline wrote itself when the news came out that a player named Argelico Fucks decided to sign for Benfica from Brazilian side Palmeiras.


This Sport Is Stupid Anyway

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    The New York Post decided to go with this childlike headline when the USA crashed out of the 2010 World Cup.

    Clearly they don't care about football, I hear you say.

    I'm not convinced.

    Just days before, the same newspaper celebrated the 1-1 draw with England by writing the headline "US Wins 1-1."

Spurs Hunting for Young Boys

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    Again we're back to Swiss team Young Boys, and Spurs obviously refers to English team Tottenham Hotspur.

    This headline was to mark an upcoming Champions League game.

These Are the World Champions

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    On the day of the World Cup Final in 1950, Rio newspaper O Mundo released their morning issue showing a photo of the Brazil national team below the headline "These are the World Champions."

    Unfortunately, Uruguay had different ideas and subsequently won the World Cup 2-1. Brazil were hosts.

    That's overconfidence for you.

Swedes 2, Turnips 1

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    This was another Sun headline—surprise, surprise—which was written in relation to the disastrous Euro 92 performance by England as they crashed out of the competition to Sweden 2-1.

    Then England manager Graham Taylor's head was superimposed on a turnip and printed for the world to see.


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    So there you are—10 amusing football headlines that have made a splash over the years.

    Headline-writing is not an easy task, and sometimes the desire to make people laugh can overshadow things that are more important—such as not being offensive.

    This cross-section of snippets were all genuine submissions either in a newspaper or online and will go down in history as some of the funniest that writers have gotten away with.

    Some occur accidentally, but for the most part I imagine they have all been well thought out—to a certain degree.

    Thanks for reading, and be sure to check out how FIFA can stop racism as well as the FA Cup team of the week that shocked Tottenham Hotspur.

    On Twitter? Follow me @petercwebster, where I post all my B/R content.


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