Pro Bowl 2012: 3 Reasons This Exhibition Gives Sports a Bad Name

The 2012 Pro Bowl has not yet kicked off, and I am already over it. 

The Pro Bowl is best watched with the TV turned to the off position. The usual grit, punch and passion that makes football great is gone. What's left is a bunch of millionaires working off a pina colada hangover. 

I am all for All-Star games, but only those that work. MLB is able to add interest by giving some intriguing pitcher-on-hitter matchups we might not otherwise consider. Before you run me out on an Internet rail, agree that the first three innings are worth watching. 

The lack of defense that fills these types of exhibitions is perfect for the NBA. It's not like these players play any during the season anyway. Besides, the more dunks the better, and they are perfect to model drinking games to. 

And then there is this sad sight that will take place yet again. Like my yearly diet, I have no idea why we bother, because it never works anyway. Here is why this Pro Bowl will be useless watching just like it was last year, and the year before that. 

1. Nobody Cares

Oh, I don't mean fans, because they couldn't care any less about this game either. I am talking about the players. Most tackles are made after receivers collapse from boredom. 

Consider this play that people actually paid to see. It involves super-talented fat guy Alex Mack scoring a touchdown. During the regular season, this would have been epic. In the Pro Bowl, with no defender caring, it just looks lame. This brings me to...

2. No Hard Hits

I know what you are going to say: "But they would get hurt." I know, that's the point. I am not saying they should hit hard or care to tackle; doing so could cause injury and this game is just not worth it. 

However, just because they shouldn't hit doesn't mean I have to like it. A flag-football game would be far more enjoyable than a bunch of guys that are all padded up for no reason. 

3. No Faces

The NFL is one of the hardest leagues for fringe players to make a buck in endorsements. The reason is that you never see their faces. 

This is also the reason that watching the Pro Bowl fails: We never get to see the stars behind the magical season. Faceless linemen that are great at what they do are still faceless. This is again why we should just take this game out back and shoot it. 

Conclusion

Okay, big guy: How do we fix it? I thought about this and came up with an answer that is perfect for what we are looking for: We don't. 

This game can't be fixed. You could make it a flag-football, Rock N' Jock-type of affair, but that would lack the weight and gravitas of a professional All-Star exhibition. 

You could add monetary incentives, but that would prove far too messy to work. The only solution is to name players to the Pro Bowl, and leave it at that. 

The ratings have always been horrendous, making it clear fans can't be convinced to watch this anyway. Putting it before the Super Bowl just reminds us that we aren't watching pro football. 

Have an announcement of the Pro Bowl players, and maybe an hour-long show that gives the players their just due, or not. Consider this like the All-Madden team. 

The joy of the Pro Bowl has always been in arguing who should have made it, not the actual game. This would keep the argument but not subject us to the disaster of the actual game. 

If you need me, I will be doing my best to avoid the Pro Bowl this weekend. 

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