Jeff Fisher: Free Agent Head Coach Expecting Too Many Perks

Fair warning: If you see Jeff Fisher on the street and offer him a cookie, he's probably going to want a glass of milk. 

I wouldn't worry about running into Fisher, though. These days, he's a little preoccupied with going back and forth between Miami and St. Louis, mulling whether he wants to be the next head coach of the Dolphins or the Rams.

Various reports over the last week or so have had Fisher leaning towards one team or the other. At last check, a source told NFL Network's Michael Lombardi that the Dolphins appear to be the frontrunner.

Better yet, sources also told Lombardi that a decision could come as soon as today. 

Whoever Fisher chooses to coach, it will be because the team agreed to meet his laundry list of demands, which has been steadily revealed by members of the media.

For example, Mike Freeman of CBSSports.com reported this early Thursday afternoon:

This is reasonable enough. If Fisher is going to be in charge of a team, he should have his own people in place on the coaching staff. He should also definitely have a say as to which players he gets to have at his disposal.

But landing Fisher obviously isn't a simple matter of granting him this one request. 

Go back and check out the Lombardi report, and you'll see that Jason La Canfora has managed to get a hold of a couple other key demands. Fisher is supposedly looking to earn a salary of roughly $7 million a year, which would put him in Mike Shanahan and Bill Belichick territory.

In addition, La Canfora notes that Fisher "likely will command" the title of executive vice president wherever he ends up. That will effectively give him a major presence in the front office, making him a czar of sorts with control on and above the gridiron.

For lack of a better example, I daresay Fisher wants to be Bill Parcells.

If so, he's overestimating his worth just a little bit.

Actually, he's overestimating it by a lot.

Fisher is a good football coach. He was in charge of the Houston Oilers/Tennessee Titans for parts of 17 seasons, making the playoffs six times and going to the Super Bowl once. There aren't many coaches out there who can match Fisher's resume point for point.

But Fisher is not a great football coach. Though he came agonizingly close once, he's never won a Super Bowl, and his teams were mediocre more often than they were good. It's not like he's some kind of mad football genius, a la Belichick, Parcells, Bill Walsh, et al.

Yet that's clearly what Fisher wants the Dolphins and Rams to think of him, and it goes without saying that he's making the most of the fact that there really aren't any better options out there.

Fisher is going to get what he wants, make no mistake about that. The Dolphins and Rams are both desperate, and in the end, this whole thing will come down to which team is more desperate.

Then the pressure will be on Fisher to live up to the tremendous deal he's going to get.

I'll jump the gun right here and now and wish him luck with that.