The Liver's NBA Playoff Picks: Western Conference

Adnan TezerApr 21, 2007

So the editors of the Bleacher Report were crafty enough to track down the Liver for an NBA postseason special...by way of phoning every bar and strip club in the greater North Dallas area.

You ask enough bartenders and bouncers around here—you'll find me...or a Dallas Cowboy.

Hard to believe, but basketball—not football—was the Liver's first sports love as a wee drunkard. Unfortunately, suspect officiating under David Stern's watch (and the demise of the Liver's New York Knicks) turned the Liver off of the NBA.

After Game Six of the 2002 Western Conference Finals between the Lakers and Kings, in fact, the Liver swore off basketball forever...until he came back the next season. He did the same thing after last year's Finals—but now he's back again to get his heart shattered by a horseshit call from Bennett Salvatore, or Dick Bavetta, or Joey...

Well, maybe not Joey Crawford.

Since the Liver is refraining from point spreads (extended Lent), these predictions are all STRAIGHT UP. Only Don Imus, Tim Hardaway, Joey Crawford, Tony LaRussa, Pacman Jones, Chris Henry, Michael Ray Richardson, Paula Abdul, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Mel Gibson would be drunk enough to question the Esteemed Liver's picks.

On a very sobering note: The Liver's heart goes out to the 32 victims of the Virginia Tech massacre and their families.

The Liver's father (R.I.P. Dad) was on campus at the University of Texas at Austin on that fateful August 1, 1966, when Charles Joseph Whitman's own senseless rampage left 16 dead, 30 wounded, and a community forever scarred.

I remember hearing stories about the shootings as a young child—it didn't seem real until I attended the University in 1995 and saw firsthand the bullet holes that still remain on Guadalupe Street across from the campus.

A perfect world, this ain't.