Tiger Woods Is Not Quite Back Yet: Women Not Impressed with His Act

Tiger Woods' peers on the PGA Tour, the golf world's media and guys literally all over the world are once again fawning over Tiger.  His win at the Chevron World Challenge and participation in the President's Cup appeared to make it OK for the world to like him again.

This woman and probably millions more like me are saying "Hold it there, buster."  After two years adrift in a sea of mediocre golf performances and, we speculate, morally adrift, you can't win our hearts back by winning one tournament.  Not when you come off as a very unpleasant fellow. 

We are universally weary of your sourpuss face and your arrogant demeanor.  Your handling of the firing of your long-time caddie, Steve Williams, seemed disloyal and ungrateful (although he's turning out to be no Prince Charming either).  We could barely stand to read about your divorce proceedings and your post-divorce child-care arrangements.  And that nasty-looking goatee isn't helping your cause. 

We may put head over heart and pick you in our 2012 golf fantasy pool, but we won't enjoy it.

There is probably only one true way to win back the women in this country, Tiger:  Dancing with the Stars.  Maybe we just need to see another side of you.  Paired with elegant Kym Johnson or quirky Lacey Schwimmer, you might drop your grouchy facade and have some goofy fun.  Perhaps we might see a genuine smile and hear un-PR-scripted genuine words come out of your mouth. 

You might learn to treat your partner with respect, and learn the true meaning of teamwork.  And you might blossom twice a week in front of 15 million women.  Stranger things have happened.

I would call Mark Steinberg today and get him on it.