Some Bowl Are Cheap, Some Are Nice! What Are Your Players Getting?

Players in college football get so little reward for so much work. It's nice to see them finally get a little something for a good season. Bowl games have always tried to make the event a rewarding experience for the players.

All bowl games have parties and events planned for the teams. Some of those are more extravagant than others, just like the gifts they hand out to the players. 

So, if you're curious, like I was, about just what your favorite team will snag, read on.  And much thanks to my friends at rivals.com for all the information I ripped off. They actually did a serious piece to all this.

Starting with the biggest, The BCS Championship Bowl, the players get the obligatory baseball cap, BCS Championship Game customized Crocs (because they are secure in their manhood enough to wear pastel colored plastic shoes), a duffel bag, some keepsake luggage tags (that will be stolen at the first airport and sold on eBay), a Blockbuster subscription to keep them from studying, a Tournea watch (can you say cheap Chinese crap), and $300 worth of Sony Electronics.

The Sugar Bowl only had an extra $6 million to spend, so they went cheap. Players will get a nice Sony Blu-Ray disc player (though most can't afford the blue ray discs), a Sony walkman (like they don't already have one of those for travel), and a Sugar Bowl watch, made by the best Singapore watchmakers $3 an hour can get. What? No baseball cap?

The Orange Bowl players also get the $300 worth of Sony Electronics, a Tourneau watch (better than those Chinese Sugar Bowl ones), a pair of those gay-boy crocs (I can only guess that Crocs is trying to get the message out you don't HAVE to be gay to wear our shoes), a backpack, (to put all the hotel towels in), and some more of those Orange Bowl luggage tags you can't ever use.

The Fiesta Bowl guys are getting something cool. These MyVu personal media electronic sunglasses can allow them to watch porn while in class. The Apple iPod nano is small enough to use along with the glasses to get a classier soundtrack, and they get a Kenneth Cole Watch (the Taiwan version), and the obligatory baseball hat.

The AT&T Cotton Bowl hasn't publicly said yet what gifts they're giving yet, but the players have already received their own 32" LCD high-def TVs. So far, that's the biggest TV given, and there were promises of more gifts awaiting their arrival. 

A truck showed up at the practice facility well over 100 televisions. Those guys got TVs to their cars quicker than a New Orleans' looter.

The Rose Bowl isn't the grand-daddy of all give aways. They go down-right cheap.  Once you get past the Fossil watch (the $49 version) and a Sony DVD camcorder, the little plaque, baseball cap, cheapo backpack, and token football still look good next to the one-year subscription of a magazine they'll give you free for filling out a three-minute on-line questionnaire.

The Armed Forces Bowl must be getting ready for Obama's cuts. The Flip digital video recording camera sounds nice, 'til you see how cheap it is. You get a rolling luggage bag lined with cardboard, with some soon-to-be-stolen luggage tags. You also get a small cheap commemorative helmet and football and a tee-shirt to go along with your baseball cap.

The Holiday bowl has the fewest gifts, but the ones you can use the most. The 19" LCD high-def TV with built in DVD player will do just fine in the athletic dorm room. I sure want to see the plane coming back with all the overhead compartments filled with TVs. 

The Tourneau (cheap Chinese) watch will tell you how late to class you are from watching movies in the room, and the Best Buy gift certificate will let you get those DVDs. No cap, but they give you a hooded sweatshirt you can use to hold up a liquor store, in order to get more DVDs.

The Independence Bowl is helping keep you fit for next season with Tek Mountain Bikes. The only problem is there are no mountains in Louisiana or Northern Illinois. But you can sit on your souvenir football, look at your Chinese watch, wear your cap, and time how long it will take for God to grow you a mountain to ride those bikes on. 

And I can hear those equipment managers cursing all the way here in Florida, "How the hell are we supposed to get 94 mountain bikes back to campus?"

The Music City Bowl sees Vandy drive three or so miles to complain the gifts weren't worth the trip. They get a cheap Sony MP3 player and some noise canceling headphones so they can't hear the Music City Bowl officials laughing at them.

They also get the Fossil watch (Chinese edition), with an Adidas fleece (nice word for cheap) jacket and an Armor Gear backpack so they can at least sneak out the hotel clock radio for something worth a darn.

The Texas Bowl proves, at least here, everything in Texas is not bigger. This place makes Scroog look like a philanthropist. You get a $30 iPod, a Chinese watch, tee-shirt, and baseball cap. Thank God for the non-logo'd hooded sweatshirt or no one will recognize you were rooked into coming to Bowl Elcheapo.

The Chick Fil-A-Bowl gives a pretty nice $300 gift certificate to Best Buy, and then it goes downhill. The Chinese bowl watch will be a keepsake for the 22 days it works, and then the players will be given something they've always wanted, not one football, but TWO.

It's kinda like giving that carpenter in the family a couple of nails, isn't it? One says Chick Fil-A on it (Oh that's a keeper), and the other is blank so your friends can sign it. (how did they know your friends would be ashamed to sign a Chick-Fil-A ball).

They're also giving them a $5 travel bag with the Chick-Fil-A logo on it, a whopping $15 dollar gift card to you guessed it, Chick-Fil-A (that'll buy a lineman half a lunch), and a ski cap with a visor. (And it's got a Chik-Fil-A logo, too, so you'll look like a real counter person on break.) Yes, those boys from LSU and Georgia are just all ski freaks.

The Humanitarian Bowl has no humanity. They are the cheapest people, and I guess they're used to having people in Bangladesh or somewhere actually be grateful for crap like this.

They get an $69 camcorder, complete with tapes so they record their disappointment at these gifts. And since you're coming somewhere that makes Siberia look warm, they're gonna give you a winter jacket, gloves, a hoodie sweatshirt, and a baseball cap.

And since they'll be so much frickin' snow on the ground to go anywhere else and have any fun with the football they give you, they'll give a nail trimming and shaving kit so you can get all that personal grooming out of the way while your bored in the hotel room. 

But wait! There's more! And this is more is proof that MORE is not always better than less. You get a $2 drawsting bag, so you'll look like a homeless person that finally saved up for that plane ticket when you get back to the airport and a skull cap so you look like an upscale Jewish homeless person. I kid you not.

The MPC Computers Bowl at least gives players something the bowl is named after. They'll get a solar powered computer and an iPod backpack with bowl logo. Then they'll get a pen and pencil set, winter gloves, and handwarmers (wait are gloves handwarmers to begin with), a weatherproof parka (with logo), a travel tumbler with thermos, and both have MPC Computers Bowl logos, the baseball cap and a football. 

Last but not least, a winter skull cap with logo and a partridge in a pear tree. (I just had to throw that last one in.)

The Alamo Bowl at least gives a gift that EVERY college age guy would love, a brand new Sony PS3! Wow! That's great! But instead of giving you the football game to go with it, they give you the NBA basketball game. Who was this genius that did this? But it's still a good enough gift that you don't mind you didn't get a baseball cap and just got a fossil watch and a cheapie plastic mini-helmet.

The Champs Sports Bowl gives you a nice beach towel to use on the beach in Orlando, uh wait, never mind. But among the more useful gifts are a 15" TV with DVD player and a the Chinese watch complete with Champs logo on it.

Since you'll be rushing to the beach in Orlando, they also give you (and I'm not kidding) sunglasses, a Panama Jack tee-shirt, and lots of sun-tan lotion. And you can put it all in your $3 backpack!

The Liberty Bowl gives you a pair of sandals to enjoy the balmy climate and snow of Memphis in December. To go along with it, you'll get lots of stuff from Nike, like a pair of running shoes, some Nike Sunglasses, and a Nike Sportband.

They'll also get a Liberty Bowl football and a Nero 4-in-1 Digital Camcorder and Media Player. It's a crappy camcorder that records grainy images, takes worse pictures than your cell phone, and plays back badly your favorite tunes or your own voice. With a 4GB card installed, you can store lots of disappointment.

The Insight Bowl actually hired someone with insight. They one-upped the Holiday Bowl by giving a 26" LCD High Def Vizio TV instead of a 19". Now that's a keeper. A Bulova game watch that will actually work for years, and a baseball cap are ok go alongs with the nice tv, but why mention you're also giving each player a Snack pack?  Is that like a set of Jello Puddin Pops?

The Sun Bowl has the strangest gift on the list. Work hard, earn a bowl game, come here, and get a Helen of Troy hair dryer. I can't make up stuff this good. But wait, there's more! 

A Sony personal DVD player with noise cancelling headphones, yet another almost good bowl watch, the baseball cap and a windshirt (windshirt?), and a mock (what, they couldn't afford a real one) turtleneck sweater. 

Lastly, a commemorative coin to flip to decide if you'd ever want to come back and a backpack so people won't see you walking through the airport with your Helen of Troy hairdryer.

The Gator Bowl is giving away something the players might like, Oakley Split Thumps. These are sunglasses with an MP3 players built it. They got the good ones, which is nice since it's about all they'll get. A Bulova watch, some cheapo luggage, and a cap rounds out the rest.

The Vegas Bowl is also one of those less-is-more kind of bowls. They give two things worth having. First of all, a complete Wii bundle, (what college kid wouldn't die for that?) and a Oakley Holeshot 3 HD watch, which is a swiss-made beauty that retails in the high $300 range. Oh yeah, they get a cap, too.

The Outback Bowl is in the running for "King of Cheapies." Not even a free blooming onion here, mates! You get the cheapest version of the cheapest digital camcorder you can buy to go along with a cheap Chinese Fossil watch.

They think giving you an Outback Bowl ring will help. But it's made from melted down Chinese watches that quit running. This is one cheapo haul that they'll soon forget.

The Emerald Bowl is as kind to players as the person who gave your young daughter a naked Barbie doll and a catalogue of the 16,489 things you buy for it now for her birthday. 

They give each player a copy of the NCAA Football '07 video game, but no console to play it on. Gee thanks! Then they stay cheap with a football, cheap backpack with bowl logo, fleece vest and cap with logo, and a really cheapo personal (that means really cheap and small) DVD player.

The Capitol One Bowl Game got it right. Give the players a $400 gift card to be used at Best Buy (take that cheapskate BCS bowls that only gave a $300 one). They'll also get the Chinese bowl watch and a "goody bag." (Your guess on that one is as good as mine) 

The Poinsettia Bowl believes less is more, less information that is. They just say a gift card at Best Buy (I hope this is simply an oversight and not a $50 certificate), a Chinese watch with the Tommy Hilfiger logo on it (my son got one in a vending machine once), an iPod nano, and a hooded sweatshirt to join in with the Holiday Bowl Players who will be robbing convenience stores near you.

And lastly, The New Orleans Bowl. Tough times must still be falling on the Crescent City. You get a non-gold ring, the now famous Chinese watch, and you can pick through a bin of leftover Nike Apparel the Saints didn't want.

If I left out your bowl, I'm sorry. This was all the information I could find.  Maybe you can ask your favorite athlete when he gets home, and see if his watch is still running.