Addressing the WWE Universe: The IWC, Cena, Punk & Other Random Thoughts

Random thoughts... We all have them. Some are ridiculous, some are profound, some are just plain weird. They exist within us all, and at some point, you're bound to blurt one out unintentionally, which will either make you look like a genius or a complete jackwagon.

Either way they're usually pretty entertaining or thought-provoking.

I recently, finally, caught up with the past three weeks of WWE programming that were both mocking me, and creating a log jam on my DVR. I finally manned up and proceeded to watch the three missed WWE shows that I repeatedly ignored. I'm sorry, but between The Walking Dead, Sons of Anarchy, American Horror Story and Breaking Bad, Smackdown has no shot at getting it's play button hit.

Side Note: You ever feel like catching up with your DVR is a chore? It's exactly how I felt yesterday.

After sitting through at least 6 hours (which equals 4 DVR hours) of WWE programming, my mind began to fill up with random thoughts about the current WWE product. What better place to display them and receive feedback than on here?

What does a WWE related random thought look like you might ask? Here's an example...

You ever notice that when an article contains a poll (clearly displayed at the beginning of said article) that only roughly 30% of the "readers" actually participate in the poll? Why is this? An article gets 5,000 reads, but yet only 1,500 people click an answer...

Are slideshows (which I tend to avoid) really more "viewer friendly" then articles?

My Friend: Not gonna lie dude, your last slideshow? I just blazed through the topic headings and read a couple random sentences. I think I got your gist... Cool pictures though!

With that being said, here are some more random thoughts about the current WWE product...

Side Note: You may not agree with what you are about to read. However, I highly recommend you break out your sense of humor and retort accordingly in the comment section. Pro wrestling is all in good fun, and so is this article. 

Random Thought #1

It's now becoming a fact that Smackdown is a much better show, currently, than Raw.

I understand the ratings are better for Raw, but a lot more people tuned into watch The Bachelor than they tuned into watch Lights Out. Using this logic, should we come to the conclusion that The Bachelor is a better show?

What in the blue hell is Lights Out? Don't worry about it. This brilliant show got cancelled because no one tuned into watch it. If you did, then you know what I'm talking about. #Holla

I'm not really quite sure why Smackdown has not only been relegated to Friday nights, but on the current station it's televised on. It's like the WWE has a hidden show they secretly don't want you to watch. Why not bring it back to Thursday nights? Why not to a more mainstream cable network? I'm sure the answer has the word "contracts" in it, but who the hell signed this agreement in the first place? 

Did You Know?...that Smackdown has now been the most watched show on the Syfy network for 100 weeks straight? Thanks WWE, for letting us know the obvious; Because I couldn't honestly name another show that airs on this network that isn't advertised during Smackdown (which I skip over thanks to my DVR).

Random Thought #2 

...Speaking of Smackdown. I really think CM Punk should remain more of a mainstay on the program. It not only brings a legitimate reason to tune in every week, (that seems to be lacking with Orton at the moment) but the potential feuds he can have are endless. His recent pairing with Christian was great on the mic and in the ring. More of this on Smackdown is a good thing...

Random thought # 3

Is it sad that whenever I see something remotely controversial happen on an episode of Raw or Smackdown I think "God, the IWC isn't going to like that" and I actually get giddy to read the "hate" articles the next day?

Perhaps I simply watch too much wrestling....

What exactly is the IWC anyways? I took the liberty of googling the acronym and this is what came up:

IWC = International Watch Company, International Whaling Commission, Iowa Wesleyan College.

IWC, wrestling = International Wrestling Cartel

Is there a better term we can use to describe us as a group? Is there a way to make "IWC" not seem derogatory?

Looking for a couple of cheap laughs? Look at how Urbandictionary.com describes the IWC.

Random Thought #4

Daniel Bryan is slightly overrated. I said slightly! Don't get me wrong he has an extremely awesome beard and his wrestling abilities are well above average compared to the current WWE roster, but until he can stop sounding like a complete "dweeb" on the mic, I will continue to keep this label attached to him.

I want to like Daniel Bryan a lot more then I do. I really do, but this brief conversation with my friend sums it up...

Me: Is it really that hard to act for some of these wrestlers? I mean all you have to do is show some personality and remember to hit the scripted notes, or if you're a heel, you basically get free reign to act angry and like a (expletive deleted) and have it be completely OK.

My Friend: For Daniel Bryan it looks like it's a challenge. If you look closely, you can actually see him in physical pain from his personality trying to break free. I heard Morrison had to have surgery to remove the stick... 

and that's where we have to end that conversation...

Random Thought #5   

John Cena has a new shirt, but my friend refuses to buy it for the sole reason it contains a "Be A Star" logo on the left sleeve. He's got a point. In all honesty, it should say "hypocrite".

The actual slogan, "Rise Above Hate", is actually pretty cool. The colors are also a tremendous upgrade from the rainbow collection he had going on for awhile. He'll eventually cave, though.

Random Thought #6

CM Punk... Is slightly annoying. He's still trying to find himself within his new character. In his defense, he played the perfect heel for so long that its inevitable that he occasionally gets lost in his new "face" role. For some reason, every time CM Punk placates to the crowd, has that ridiculous "wide eyed and goofy smile" on his face and tries to be overly funny, I cringe a little...

... But he's still living in the "PG", status quo structure of the current WWE, so he can't truly be himself. He's simply playing the game with the WWE brass while trying to be that outspoken, condescending, vindictive person we've all come to love and enjoy. So he gets a pass, but slightly annoying none the less.

Random Thought #7

John Cena, love him or hate him, is the biggest thing going in the WWE. I put the chances of him turning heel in the near future at a one percent chance. If he does screw the Rock at Survivor Series, I will be thoroughly shocked. I personally think it would be a terrible business move to turn him heel. A move that would enthrall the minority while destroy the majority...

...But, then again, Hogan did it, and look how that turned out. I guess we'll have to just wait and see what happens if the WWE ever pulls the trigger on this.

It's a shame that the WWE still religiously sticks to the heel vs. face structure. Whenever two faces square off, the crowd usually goes insane. Imagine all the classic matches Cena could have if they allowed him to feud with Sheamus, Punk, Orton, Triple-H and Zach Ryder...

I guess there always has to be a bad guy though.

Random Thought #8

While we're on the topic of Zach Ryder. John Cena would be booed unmercifully if they feuded. However, when the two of them team up, it's the perfect balance of gimmicky humor, and honest to goodness hilarity. I fully expect them to be tag team champions at some point.

Cena wearing Ryder's glasses and doing simultaneous "Broski Boots" was classic...

Random Thought #9

I'm really not a fan of the Big Show... there I said it. Who's with me?

Random Thought #10

I think Alberto Del Rio doesn't get the credit he deserves. Sure his character is becoming horrendous, but he's easily in the top three in pure wrestling ability. If we apply the same logic that people use to defend Daniel Bryan (who's character is even more bland) then why does everyone hate, with a passion, Del Rio. It doesn't make sense...

...Will someone please acknowledge the hypocrisy?

You want wrestling to be the focal point! Well Del Rio as champion guarantees that "wrestling matches" will occur during the WWE Championship match as long as he's champion.

Random Thought #11 

Teddy Long is the worst GM ever! He is hilarious (holla!), but his overall decision making is downright biased. How the Big Show (who was sidelined for months, and didn't win a single match against anyone else even remotely deserving) got a World Heavyweight match is ridiculous...Henry had a reason to gripe.

In the words of Janet Jackson..."What have you done for me lately"

...Oh yeah, wrestling is scripted. there are inevitable plot holes. I have to remind myself sometimes.

Random Thought #12

Dolph Ziggler is legit! His music, look, in ring ability, vastly improving mic skills and the fact he's the best at selling his opponent are all reasons he will headline at least one Wrestlemania before his career is over.

Random Thought #13

I still hate Kevin "Old Man Rivers" Nash.

Random Thought #14

...And you should too.