Tony Romo and the 10 Sports Figures You Wouldn't Want as Your Father

Tony Romo's expected baby is going to benefit from the fact that he/she will be born after the third trimester and not the fourth quarter.

Still, what if Tony wants to be the first one to greet his child to the world, and he fumbles the snap from his wife?

These are just a couple of the problems facing the new addition to the Romo family and a reason why I would not want Tony Romo as a father. Or any of the next 10 people.

Bruce Jenner

Bruce Jenner seems like he would actually be a pretty cool father. However, not cool enough to make it worth being a part of that family.

Life would be one long migraine headache that never ended. There is just no way to get used to those shrill and grating voices that always seem to be whining about something.

I don't know how Bruce does it, really. I guess that is why every time they show him he is in his room watching TV. He's back there soaking his battered ears in a bath of Epson salts.

LeBron James

Much like Tony Romo's baby, LeBron's baby would benefit from the fact that pregnancies don't go four trimesters.

That is not what would make this an unenviable situation. Everyone wants to be born a prince, but not if your father is the king of nothing.

Ichiro

Ichiro is the king of routine. Before every pitch he goes through the exact same motions. At the start of every inning when he is in the field he does a Yoga routine that would probably leave me injured.

This works really well for him. But it would be hard to grow up with. "No, you must brush your teeth with 97 cross strokes and 84 circles. Dinner is ready. Now please get out your mat for a little pre-dinner stretch."

You see where I am going with this?

Mike Tyson's Neighbor

Here is why it would suck to be the child of Mike Tyson's neighbor.

You're sitting in your living room watching Transformers after a long day of kindergarten. You hear your dad get home and address Mr. Tyson who is in the adjacent yard.

Dad: Hey Mike! Why don't you train those pigeons to crap in your own yard?

Mike: They're pigeons. I can't take away their frivolity to deficit in others landscapes.

Dad: Huh? Well, my point is, if they keep crapping in my yard you are going to have a problem!

Mike: I'll give you a problem!

Dad: Oh yeah?

Mike: Yeah!

Dad: What are you going to do?

Mike: I'll eat your children!

No one wants to live in that kind of fear.

Brett Favre

Brett: Son, come on down. We are having pancakes.

Son: Oh boy! I love pancakes.

Brett: No wait. We are having eggs.

Son: Well, eggs are g...

Brett: No. Pancakes. Wait, maybe we should have eggs.

Son: Whichever dad.

Brett: I can't decide.

Or....

Son: Who you texting, Dad?

Steve Bartman

Bartman: What should we name him?

Mrs. Bartman: Steve Bartman Jr.

Baby: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

No one wants to be born into a legacy of rabid hate from a giant irrational fanbase.

Jose Canseco

With Canseco's vehement support and use of steroids, it is really impossible to tell what the future holds for Jose and his body.

There is the possibility that a world of crazy side effects awaits the slugger.

Who wants to be the son of a man with a head growing out of his oversized head? I mean which head would you listen to?

Donovan McNabb

Who would want a dad that is late to everything and misses all of their precious moments?

Well, this is apparently what you would get with the chronically late and uninterested McNabb.

Donovan: I'm here, honey. Let's have this baby!

Mrs. McNabb: I had the baby yesterday, Donovan.

Donovan: Yeah, well uh...I got stuck in traffic.

Alex Rodriguez

Son: Hey Dad! Watch this.

Son: Really, check it out. I have two knifes in the electrical socket this time!

Son: ...Dad?

A-Rod: Hang on, buddy. I am talking to this handsome devil in the mirror.

David Stern

Son: Dad, can I go to Chuck E. Cheese's for my birthday?

David: Son, you simply aren't generating enough revenue to support a party with that kind of expenditure. How about the mini mart instead?

Son: Dad, that is so lame. Everyone else gets to go cool places for their birthday.

David: That's it. I'm canceling your next two birthdays.