Peyton Manning Injury: Why the Heck Won't Colts Make IR Status Official?

Imagine that you're Avis Roper.

For those of us who don't carry a list of the reigning PR gremlins for all 32 NFL teams, Avis is not in the car rental business; he's the "senior director of communications" for the Indianapolis Colts.

Avis came to Indy from New York, where he was an assistant for the Giants.

Now, you can imagine Avis' dismay when Indy owner Robert Irsay got bored Monday morning while dunking donuts with the heavyweights in his town who are putting up big bucks for the Super Bowl initiative, the one that was successful and got the big bally-hoo of the NFL there at Lucas Oil Stadium in February.

Yes, Irsay thought he'd simply crank up some hearsay, except when it comes from someone named Irsay (who just happens to own the Colts). Well, it goes off the hearsay roster and becomes, well, if nothing else, Gospel.

If you're old enough, simply go back and remember the theme song from the old television show about the talking horse—Mr. Ed.

And that would be: "Go right to the source and ask the horse......"

If you're not old enough, well, it was a great show.

In this case, the horse's mouth would be Irsay's. Think about that for a moment; that's about as high up the pay grade in Indy as it gets.

In NFL PR Gremlin School, all announcements are supposed to go through "proper channels" and you can imagine the horror Avis felt when Irsay, the Trubador of Twitter, was thumbing away at the breakfast meeting this morning, telling us that Peyton Manning won't be playing this year.

Can you imagine the panic when Avis actually started getting calls from beat writers, wire services and anyone else who wanted to know, to quote the late Vince Lombardi:

"What the hell is going on out there?"

Or in this case, "Hey Jim, what the hell is this Twitter stuff?"

To which Irsay then edited his first FUBAR with this gem:

"I didn't say Peyton out 4season for sure, keeping him on active roster n taking it month by month/outside chance of return in December possible."

So which is it?

You have to ask yourself if Manning can even practice before December? And the answer is probably no. So if Manning can start practicing in December, what's that going to achieve?

The Colts are 0-3 right now, and it's not looking good for the horseshoe helmet guys, is it?

Yes, they still have a ferocious defensive line, and how do you tell Dwight Freeney that you're going to tank the season so you can draft Andrew Luck?

Didn't think so.

So now that Avis Roper has thumped his head about a dozen times today, rolled his eyeballs, told his assistant to hold all calls; in fact, don't hold the calls; tell 'em I'm at a breakfast meeting, well, what's next?

Can't wait for Irsay's next Twitter.

How about something like:

"Hey, just kiddin about Peyton, 18 back in Dec. for playoff run."

Oh, really?