Ronnie's Rasslin Rant: The Week Of 10/13/08

Ronnie's Rasslin Rant: The Week Of 10/13/08

I've decided that once a week I'm going to do a week in review of the happenings of wrestling from the past week.
Imagine Best Week ever on Vh1 except it's wrestling.
Sure you've probably heard some of these stories, but you havent heard my take on them.
So pull up a seat , and grab a pick for your mouth cause this week was oozing "Machismo", were going full throttle people.

SINN BOWDEE COMING TO WWE:

By now you've probably heard the news that SINN Bowdie is coming to WWE. Or you've seen the bizarre promo's on Smackdown with his new name Kizarnee.
For those not familar with him, he's currenty preparing for his WWE debut down in Florida wrestling right now. He's 35 years old and is from canada, and word has it it he was trainied by the same people who trained Edge, Christian, and Trish Stratus among others. He can also be found on Myspace, just look for Jake The Snake's profile and you'll find SINN on his friends list.

So what's my take on SINN?
Well he's pretty old to be breaking into the big time, but who knows he could be a big hit.
Apparently he's going to speak "carney" talk. You know the stuff circus and carnival freaks talk.
The people Austin Powers was afraid of.
Damn Carnies. They smell of cabbage you know.
From the images I've seen of him he reminds me of Droz a little with a splash of Goldust and Perry Saturn's drag wearing days for goodluck,
SINN is also featured in the current issue of WWE magazine. Under the article about the up and coming wrestlers currently training in WWE's Florida promotion.

SCOTT HALL TERRORIZES NEW JERSEY:

Yes it's that time of year again. Ghost, goblins, horror movie marathons.. and Jason Vorhee's terrorizing Crystal Lake in New Jersey. Oh wait... New Jersey has a new thing to be afraid of this year.
Yes that's right folks if you guessed Scott Hall you guessed right.
Scott Hall was on hand for the celebrity roast of another former wrestler and lover of the bottle:
The Iron Sheik.
As you've all probably seen on youtube by now, Scott Hall drunk and all, raced to the stage to attack the stand up comic named Jimmy Graham speaking at the " Celebrity Roast" of Sheik,   Graham apparently outraged Hall after uttering the following joke: "After the Sheik and Hacksaw Jim Duggan got caught sniffing coke in the parking lot his career fell faster than Owen Hart")
Contrary to popular believe HALL WAS NOT ARRESTED.  Hall was restrained and then escorted out of the room. But it doesnt end there. You cant keep Razor Ramon down , just ask Shawn Michaels in their Ladder Match.  Because shortly after being escorted out of The Roast, Hall returned only to be subdued again.

But when you invite Scott Hall to a Celebrity Roast in New Jersey that's not all you get.
For absolutely free you'll get an intoxicated Scott Hall start a fight in a bar.
That's right, you get a free Scott Hall fight plus the Celebrity Roast Attack.

Sure you've heard about The Roast incident, but the latest news out of the Garden State is Scott Hall was involved in yet a third incident over the weekend of the roast.

According to pwinsider.com:
Following the Iron Sheik roast incident and his return to the room. Scott Hall became involved in an altercation with several women on Saturday evening, supposedly shoving one against a bar, at Doc's Corner Tavern in Jamesburg, NJ. This incident led to another patron in the bar pnching out Hall.

Police were called to the scene, which would be three times in 24 hours that Garden State authorities were called to an incident involving Hall. Hall had missed his scheduled flight back to Florida Saturday afternoon and attempted to get the convention's promoters to pay for both the cost of changing the flight and another night in the hotel.

What do you call Scott Hall at a comedy show?
A Cab.
Zing

Scott Hall's blood alcohol level has more zero's after the decimel point then the US has zero's in our defict.

WWE STARTS THE JOHN CENA RETURNING HYPE MACHINE tm:

Yes All the wrestlers speak highly of John Cena. That can mean only one thing,
John Cena is coming back.
Many rumors have it he will return by The Survivor Series but I will take it one step further and raise this question. Will John Cena be a fan favorite or heel when he returns.
Oh I'm sure he'll be a fan favorite.. of woman and children still.
But In case you were wondering here's what are the scheduled matches that WWE are making with John Cena upon his return.
 Sovereign Bank Arena in Trenton New Jersey is advertising the three following matches for the Raw brand house show in Trenton, New Jersey on December 27th, 2008: John Cena vs. Chris Jericho vs. Batista for the World Championship, Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton, and Rey Mysterio vs. Kane.

Also Sovereign Arena in Reading PA has a Scheduled House Show for November 30th, and the official site has announced John Cena vs Randy Orton.

That could mean several things.

Will John Cena be a heel and Orton a Fan Favorite on November 30th just days after The Survivor Series?
Will John Cena go after Batista for his injury as a fan favorite, or will it turn him heel?
and why the hell is Shawn Michaels going to start a fued with Randy Orton by the end of the year?
and why the hell is Kane still fighting Rey Mysterio TWO FREAKIN MONTHS FROM NOW?
I swear to god if they dont take the mask off the little guy by then and their still in a fued together I'm going to vomit.
And not just a little vomit. A 619 vomit.
Do you know what a 619 vomit is?
It's when you throw up in your mouth and it goes down and you bring it back up again.

CHRIS JERICHO IS PROUD OF DOLPH ZIGGLER's " INTEGRITY":

In the egg in the face moment of the week, Chris Jericho appeared down in Florida at the
television tapings for WWE's developmental federation, Florida Championship Wrestling. Jericho came out and said said that the whole locker room is like Shawn Micheals but there is only one guy that is like Jericho and who stands out. He went on to say there is only one guy who wants to follow in Jericho's path and who has integrity and that  is Nick Nemeth. aka Dolph Ziggler. Ziggler came out to the ring, and thanked Jericho and said there is no one in the locker room who understands what he goes through every day. Jericho added that he and Ziggler are the only ones who can look in the mirror and have a clear conscience.
The next day WWE suspended Dolph, aka former Spirit Squad member Nick Nemeth for 30 days due to a violation of their wellness policy.

I honestly didnt know Dolph Ziggler was Nicky of The Spirit Squad until last week. A bottle of bleach goes a long way. Apparently not enough though to wash illegal substances from your body.
Sucks to be Jericho though. He's gotta be pissed to have endorsed this shmoe. First Rufus now this.

KAREN ANGLE LEAVES TNA:

Yes It's true it's damn true. According to PWinsider.com.. Karen Angle is leaving from TNA. The word in TNA's  backstage area and the janitor's supply room at Univeral Studio's is that the creative team didn't have anything for her anymore..  People are speculating though that Karen Angle deciding to file for Divorce from Kurt Angle probably didnt help matters. Karen Angle is currently taking bookings. Hopefully for birthday parties and to come out of cakes.
Am I right people?
No?
Ok
You messed up Mr. Clean. You had Karen Angle and you blew it pal. Now you can have pick of the litter in TNA's knockout division Kurt. There's ODB, Awesome Kong, who I hear likes to climb guys in bed like the Empire State Buidling,  and I'm sure Moose Knuckles would love a boyfriend like you Kurt Angle when she returns. You guys would be the perfect match.
Neither one of you use shampoo. Tough times like these anything to save money is key to a good relationship lasting. Plus you'll probably be paying massive ailmony soon. Start stocking up on headblade now, unless you want everyone to see that David Letterman peak you got going there.

MAKE A FRIEND WITH A FORMER ISLANDER:

Apparently forrer WWE/WCW star Haku has joined myspace.
Haku has an official MySpace page at www.myspace.com/hakuofficial.
I have nothing bad to say here. I've always liked Haku.
If I add him though I gotta ask him what the hell was he saying when he used to make that noise through all of his matches.

BRET HART COMMENTS ON RIC FLAIR:

I'm suprised no one has mentioned this already but late last week reports came out that Bret Hart who was doing an interview stated that he never thought Ric Flair was that great of a wrestler despite what everyone thinks. and that when he ( Hart) and Flair wrestled he didnt think Flair was that good or that his matches were that good. Of course this comes as no suprise because in my opinion Flair took the first shots when Flair took jabs at Hart in his book "To Be the Man" In Flair's book Ric goes on to say that Bret Hart never was a successful champion and that Hart was never over as champ and didnt sell that much merchandise and was champion in WWE during a bad time for the organization. Flair also went off about how Bret supposedly used Owen's death to get ahead in wrestling. Sorry but Ric is completely off base on these comments in his book. And it's a shame because I really like Ric but he makes himself look bad by taking jabs at Bret. It's about time Bret retaliated. Bret always has shown he's the classier person but sometimes you just gotta put the "man" in his place.

ULTIMATE WARRIOR's EX-WIFE WRITES TELL ALL ABOUT HER FORMER HUSBAND 

Yes I've already wrote an article about this. THAT GOT NO RESPONSES!!!
It seems Mrs Ex Warrior is shopping a book that details The Warrior's darkest secrets, which she claims, are steriod abuse, drug abuse, anxiety medicine addiction , as well as infidelity and alleged homosexual relationships.
What I really want to know is if he's as freaky as she claims did he tie streamers to his nuts and put warrior paint on his parts unknown.
Ok enough already about Warrior.
Go away Mr Warrior.
Go back to the conservative speech tour about how you hate drug users and homosexuals. ( Hey not my words, apparently, he is against the aforementioned.) Just read his blogs.

BETH PHOENIX's BOTCHED BODYSLAM:

I'm sure you all saw Jackass's own Johnny Knoxville on Raw this past Monday evening. And the accidently insult he made to Santino and Beth Phoenix which led to Beth attacking Johnny. But what was probably thr most embarrasing moment of the evening ( which is a big statment seeing Dick Johnosn made an apperance) Beth Phoenix botched the bodyslam on Johnny. It was so bad, WWE refused to show the replay afterwards and started the replay by showing Hornswoggle's frog splash on Knoxville first instead. I like Beth Phoenix. She's pretty hot. I could do with out the muscles, but hey you cant be picky. She kinda reminds me of a cross between Sable and Chyna.

Plus this wouldnt be the first time Johnny has landed on his nuts by accident.

STING WINS THE WORLD TITLE:

In what will probably be most likely Sting's last title run Sting won the world title a TNA's Pay Per View Bound for Glory.

MONDAY NIGHT RAW's DISMAL ENDING:

Ok for the love of god would you give elctro shocks to the writing team on RAW.
Could someone tell me why they would end the night with the main event of Chris Jericho vs, CM Punk. With Batista as special ref. ina Non Title Match?
Yes I know Batista picked Jericho's opponent, but could someone had told him that he could has made it a "Title Match"
There was no reason whatsoever for the fans to be into this match. And quite frankly it didnt seem like they were.
This is a perfect example of what WWE is doing wrong to loose viewers. Why would anyone wait till the end of the show to see a NON TITLE MATCH?
Hell you might have well put Big Dick Johnson in the non title main event against Jericho.
and to further humilate CM Punk he doesnt even win cleanly. It's like WWE still wants to remind us that CM Punk only wins by fluke.
And lastly will someone tell Dave Batista that if your going to rip your ref shirt, the rip is suppose to go from side to side not horizontial.
Take a look at a Hulkamania shirt will ya.

Until my next rant, next week...
Keep your head up your feet firmly planted on the ground and keep reaching for the stars..and that's the bottom line cause RB said so.