WWE Snookimania: 10 Wrestling Moves and Holds for Snooki's Moveset

MTV reality star Snooki once again showed a flash of brilliance inside of a pro wrestling ring this past Sunday at WrestleMania 27.  In her lone high spot of the match, Snooki performed a backflip before squashing WWE Diva Michelle McCool in the turnbuckle before a Snooki Splash earned her team the win. 

Many purists scoff at Snooki earning a WrestleMania paycheck.  Those who read me know that I am an anti-purist, and strongly feel that progressive thinking will lead any major company to the promise land.  

The tireless rasslin' purists who are so quick to dismiss Snooki as a reality star who is talentless and famous for no reason need to look in the mirror. 

Isn't being famous a talent in and of itself?  Can anybody transcend their personality into a cultural phenomenon the way Snooki did?  It's also worth mentioning that the scathing criticism directed at Snooki's foray into pro wrestling mirrors that of the criticism directed at former MTV mainstay The Miz, who main evented the same WrestleMania 27 pay-per-view that many had a problem with Snooki being featured on. 

Sadly, Snooki has retired from her brief sports entertainment career, opting to focus on her Jersey Shore obligations.  Snooki showed potential in the little we saw of her, and should she return to a pro wrestling ring once her run as a reality show star is over, WWE could manufacture her cult icon status into one of the more over WWE Divas on the roster, if not the most over. 

To facilitate a would-be return of Snookimania, a handful of wrestling holds and maneuvers come to mind, ranging from basic to advanced difficulty, that would be perfect for Snooki's grappling arsenal. 

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1. .0619

Aptly named after Snooki's average blood-alcohol content, the .0619 would be a perfect maneuver for Snooki, whose diminutive size is similar to that of Rey Mysterio Jr., who fathered the .0619.

2. Boston Crabs

This one pretty much explains itself.  If you do not understand the reference, follow me on Twitter and I'll go into deeper, less PG detail. 

3. "Hammered" Lock

Perhaps one of pro wrestling's oldest holds, Snooki could put a new-school twist on an old-school move with the "hammered" lock, named after her propensity to show up to WWE production sets in an altered state of mind. 

4. People's Elbow

...not to mention the people's thighs, the people's legs, the people's mouth...

5. Go to Sleep

...only to wake up in a complete strangers' apartment three hours later. 

6. Skull Throbbing Finale

An ode to the hangover, Snooki's Skull Throbbing Finale brings to mind the unfavorable subsequent side effects of a long night of partying. 

7. 450 Trashed

Snooki showed her gymnastic prowess at Wrestlemania, so a 450-type maneuver would not be outside of the realm of possibility.  After performing this spinning and twisting maneuver in midair, Snooki will realize what her internal organs feel like most of the time. 

8. Tombstone Drink-and-Driver

Variations of the piledriver is really what WWE stars mean when they say "don't try this at home."

Likewise, Don't try the Tombstone Drink-and-Driver at home kids, because drinking and driving truly will land you underneath the confines of a tombstone. 

9. Knockout Fruit Punch

A combination of Smirnoff vodka, Jose Cuervo, Jack Daniels, Tanqueray, Bacardi, Brandy, Chardonnay, Captain Morgan, Grey Goose, Popov, Skyy and a hint of strawberry lemonade to be taken separately as a chaser.  

I'd imagine that Snooki would start swinging on somebody after such a lethal concoction. 

10. The Bronzer Buster

X-Pac can have his Bronco Buster.  The Bronzer Buster is the more contemporary turnbuckle splash that is sure to leave opponents dazed.  To make matters worse, Snooki's pinch-happy Boston Crabs would certainly come into play here. 

Follow Big Nasty on Twitter @ThisIsNasty.