Andy Reid Press Conference Excerpt. Q&A About Juan Castillo

This is an excerpt from today’s fictional Andy Reid press conference.

Andy: Time’s your.

Mike McDonald, Fox Sports: Andy, can you explain the hiring of an offensive line coach to be your next defensive coordinator?

Andy: (cough). We all need to do a much better job, including me. Juan has been with this organization a long time and understands how pass rushers get through to the quarterback. It’s that simple.

Jonathon Hestler, Football Weekly: Is there any truth to the rumor that this decision came directly from Jeffrey Lurie and was based on salary?

Andy: Ahem. No truth at all. It was my decision. Sean will be our defensive coordinator next year.

Chris McPherson, PE.com: Andy, you just said Sean.

Andy: Don’t put words in my mouth, Chris.

D. Sean Jackman, Golden Bear Gazette: What does this mean for DeSean’s contract?

Andy: (cough). I’m not going to discuss that now. (cough).

Jackman: A follow-up if I could. Does this mean DJax gets a new contract?

Andy: Look. (cough). I told you I need to do a better job there. We all do.

Hestler: Andy, what will be Juan’s first priority?

Andy: (growl). Look, it’s obvious we need to do a better job of protecting Stew back there. His first job will be to get the line to block better.

K. Klob, Texas Backup Weekly: Andy, who will be your backup QB next season?

Andy: I’m in a fortunate situation to have two quality quarterbacks. As it stands right now, Kevin is our backup .

Klob: Son of a (inaudible).

McPherson: Andy, are there any other surprise moves this week?

Jackman: Like a contract change for a special someone?

Andy: (cough). Time to go. I have a few more coaching interviews.

McPherson: One more question Andy. Who are you considering for the open spots?

Andy: Look I have to go. That UConn girls' coach is waiting for me. He wins a lot of games you know.