Luck of the Draw: Pre-Season Pubs Say Saints Won't Repeat

All of those glossy, $7.99, 2010 NFL Preview magazines are now on the shelves at a national bookseller you've all heard of: the one on St. Charles Avenue and Louisiana that used to be a funeral home.

I realized as I was flipping through the pages that I was standing on the very spot where I paid my last respects to Uncle Joe. I mentioned this to an attractive blonde standing nearby.

She asked if this bothered me and I told her, "no, not at all, since I never cared for the tight bastard anyway."

She laughed.

I did not laugh and continued flipping through the magazines until I found something that truly did bother me.

Of the three NFL Preview magazines on the shelves, only one, Athlon Sports , picks the Saints to win the NFC South. Sporting News and Yahoo! Sports predict New Orleans to finish behind the Atlanta Falcons in 2010.

Yahoo! says the Colts will return to the Super Bowl and Sporting News predicts something particularly outlandish: the Dallas Cowboys in the Super Bowl, leading me to believe the writer was at Tequila House on Bourbon Street when he wrote it.

All this to say that the national media has very little respect for the New Orleans Saints and if you are going to plunk down $7.99, about the hourly rate of your average Mall cop, you should buy Athlon as they have refused to unite with the East Coast Saints haters.

Mother Teresa once said that you have to have the courage to stand alone (the courage of your convictions) and I feel Athlon Sports has done this. So, I bought Athlon and ripped the Saints pages out of the other magazines but did not buy them.

I did not feel guilty or ashamed about doing this, although it occurred to me that maybe I should.

Athlon says, "The Saints' roster is loaded with players in their primes and shows no signs of slowing down. The task, of course, will be more difficult this season.

"The Saints will not sneak up on anyone. But the talent, coaching and attitude are there to make another deep playoff run."

I am so moved by these words that I read them aloud to the blonde and she laughs while an elderly gentleman reading Business Weekly gives me a dirty look and I do not feel offended by the look. Then, the old man leaves the building but not before slapping me on the shoulder and saying, "it was a pleasure meeting you Monsieur Antichrist."

Athlon says, "Returning almost every starter from their Super Bowl championship team, the Saints are primed for another deep playoff run. And as long as Brees is healthy and under center, they should remain a Super Bowl contender for the near future. This is not a one-hit wonder."

By contrast, Sporting News is not nearly as optimistic: "Over the past 11 years, only one team has repeated a Super Bowl win (the 2004 Patriots). None of the other defending champions ever reached a conference title game, and five missed the playoffs altogether."

These words, quite frankly, depress me and violate every tenet of the current self-help book that I am reading, "Unlimited Power in Thirty Days."

All of these magazines have a mysterious opponent who "breaks down the New Orleans Saints."

I often wonder who this mysterious person is and if he secretly hates the Saints for some perceived wrong from way back.

Is Geoffrey Santini this "secret opponent" breaking down the Saints?

Although this particular mystery man has some flattering things to say about the team, and so I assume it is not Santini.

 "The triggerman there, Drew Brees, is obviously special. Their receivers are all very good, and (what) makes them so tough is that each one is his own monster...Devery (Henderson) who is just flat out pure juice...and, then you've got (Robert) Meachem, who is really coming on.

"Then you throw Shockey into the mix and you've just got a bunch of different characters that you have to consider and worry about."

Then, the "mystery rival" knocks our best cornerback, Jabari Greer, saying, "I think Greer is talented, but for me he's really kind of a middle-of-the-road type guy. And even though he came back and did well last year, I still wonder how he's going to be after the (groin) injury."

I wonder how this "mystery rival" would feel if he ever got kicked in the groin.

The "mystery rival" concludes, "Positionally, he's (Greer) very solid and he uses his hands well. He's not a big guy, but he's competitive, and when you add that to his instincts and intelligence you get a nice little player."

"'Nice little player' sounds condescending to me," I say to the blonde as I walk through the room where a former King of Mardi Gras' funeral took place and I proceed out the front door and I hope that there is nothing symbolic in all of this.