Oakland Raiders: Straight Outta L.A. Play by Play

I'm a lifelong Raider fan, born and raised in Oakland. I also happen to be a fan of N.W.A. In fact, there was a time I had an amp installed in my very ugly 1983 mustang just so I could feel the beat of "Straight Outta Compton" vibrate around me as I cruised.

I have not been looking forward to watching ESPN's latest 30 for 30: Straight Outta L.A., directed by Ice Cube. The 13 years the Raiders spent in Los Angeles is still difficult to stomach, even if it's fed to me by Eazy-E and Dr. Dre.

While I watch, I'll pause the DVR and comment, fully expecting to get 120 different levels of angry. My comments are without apology.

*Pause* One of the greatest days of Ice Cube's life was one of the WORST days of mine. Anger level at about 37.

*Pause* Poor L.A. fans and their hurt little feelings because the Rams left for Anaheim. Did anyone give a damn about the entire Oakland community that felt like they got the rug pulled out from under them? Anger level at 48.

*Pause* Finally, something real. Steve Hartman, Raiders Media Relations between 1984-88: "The mystique, whatever they had in Oakland, was fading quickly. It became Hollywood. They got caught up in it." Thank you!

*Pause* So N.W.A. liked the Raiders' colors (and duh, why wouldn't you) and they felt like soul mates. OK, fine. I understand. When I have my Raider gear on I feel like a bad ass, too. Anger level at 17.

*Pause* What the hell, Snoop??? Through N.W.A., Raider Nation began? He must be on some really good sticky icky during this conversation with Ice Cube.

*Pause* I understand Cube's point about hip hop expanding the marketing of the Raiders, but I think he's overstating the level of influence. For NFL retail merchandising to go from $300 million to almost $3 billion in a span of less than eight years (as stated by Frank Vuono, VP of NFL Properties from 1986-93), there was a LOT more going on than just N.W.A.

*Pause* OH! And they lose, and that is not OK with L.A. fans. Guess what? Every team has its ebb and flow. But you stick with your team and you don't quit on them. THAT is why L.A. can go without an NFL team. Anger level at 4. Oakland fans are so much better than they are.

*Pause* Enter the montage of classless, rowdy L.A. Raider fans beating the garbage out of each other. Gangbangers associating with the silver and black colors. Born is the chasm between the days when families would tailgate and go to games in Oakland to needing to wear riot gear to a game in L.A. Thanks for the contribution to our team, N.W.A. You guys are swell. Anger level at 96.

*Pause* "I stopped giving juice to the Raiders, cuz Al Davis, never paid us." - Ice Cube. Way to go, fanboy. While we sat and licked our wounds, finding a way to comprehend how we were tossed aside so easily, we waited. You had them and you turned your back on them. Forget you. Anger level at 102.

*Pause* RAIDERS RETURN TO OAKLAND! Anger level at 0!

*Pause* "We couldn't believe that the NFL let Los Angeles go without having a team. The Raiders leaving was like a punch in the gut."  Forgive me, Bill Plaschke, if I don't pass you the tissue box. You have NO idea what a punch in the gut feels like. We cared and sold our Coliseum out year after year after year. The Raiders were in our community. They were US. Anger level at 74.

*Pause* Dear Marcus Allen, I appreciate your skills, but it's just fine with me that you played your entire career as a Raider in Los Angeles. You aren't an Oakland kind of guy.

*Pause* "The Raiders will always belong to L.A." Anger level at 120. I do not like Cube right now. How anyone can be proud of the image reworking of our team during those 13 miserable years, I don't know. They didn't make lame music videos when they were in Oakland, they just DOMINATED. We're still picking up the pieces from the mess you made. And when Humpty Raiders Dumpty is put back together again, every little "made in L.A." part will have been replaced. Kiss my Oakland ass. 

It's over. I just put another deposit down on my season tickets today, for home games that are played in Oakland. Anger level down to zero.

Well, that wasn't so bad.