Arsenal 'Smash and Grab' Their Way to Top of the Pile

RECIPE FOR A BLOCKBUSTER ENCOUNTER

• 2 oz defiance against bullying
• 5 oz guile, belief and never die spirit
• 3 oz quintessential grit and steel (local variety)
• 2 tbl spoonful of drama
• a bunch of contemptuous and biased commentators
• 11 Trotters ready to get up Arsenal’s noses”

 

Instructions:

Assume Arsenal are made of "soft, glove-wearing foreigners" (according to Talk Shite radio) who don’t have the steel and spine to play a good old fashioned game of hoofball. Throw a team of "hard as nails" Bolton into the turf and watch and wait as Arsenal bottle it. Cook for 99 minutes.

There, ladies and gentlemen, you have a "smash and grab" blockbuster at Ashburton Grove. Bolton followed the script for the best part of the first half, and I suspect even they surprised themselves to the point they didn’t know what to do with the shock they had just unleashed on the unsuspecting Gunners.

Let’s face it, the Arsenal players didn’t get the memo suggesting the match begun at 7.45 pm. They were still asleep when Bolton pounced six minutes into the match.

Gallas, Diaby, and Clichy all failed to clear their lines in consecutive attempts. Gary Cahill naturally had enough of the poxy defending and said ”Thank you very much folks, if you don’t want the ball, I’ll have it.”

Twenty-two minutes later, Almunia was picking the ball from the back of his net for the second time because of Arsenal’s refusal to wake up. No complaints at all about the penalty award, and frankly speaking, thank you to Bolton for waking up the Arsenal.

The rest of the game was all the more entertaining because of that. It was like watching a movie you hoped will end with Arsenal stealing the points and the right to sit at the summit of the Premier League table.

Arsenal didn’t disappoint. For they stole the game in a smash and grab fashion that would have made the best thief takers in the world proud.

Most of the controversy though is about William Gallas’s alleged assault on Mark Davies. I’m really sorry for the young man, honestly, but it was a 50-50 tackle that Gallas had the right to go for.

I don’t think it’s worth justifying Arsenal was right to continue playing for the simple reason that the referee didn’t stop the game. This ”Arsenal should have shown some sportsmanship and kicked the ball out of play” nonsense is just that, nonsense. Players are on a slippery slope when they make the decision to stop the game when they’re under attack.

Besides, Bolton should have defended better and not let Fabregas waltz through at least two tackles before slamming the ball through Jaaskelainen’s legs. There’s no excuse for not playing to the whistle.

As for the challenge itself, we’re going to end up with a situation of pots calling kettles black. A free kick awarded wouldn’t have stopped the Arsenal smash and grab show. Bolton weren’t exactly benevolent at the Reebok on Sunday.

Someone at Bolton should have been arrested for slamming his knee into Fabregas’s neck, shoving his face into the ground and pulling his hair. If that had happened in the Bolton town centre, the chap would have been arraigned at the local magistrates court for assault with intent to cause grievous bodily harm.

The referee during the Sunday game watched as a player twice hacked Abou Diaby before Tomas Rosicky had to take the law into his own hands, seeing the referee was a bit relaxed about Bolton’s propensity for violence on the pitch.

Fran Merida’s ankle was violently kicked away from play even before the young Spaniard touched the ball, and he’s out injured because of that.

That’s why my view is, while I feel a bit sorry for Mark Davies, let’s not all get self righteous about adjusting our game to deal with Bolton’s style (if you can call it that). I think in business they’d call such adjustments innovative.

Bolton’s tactics were interesting, and, for a while, they worked. There’s a rumour going around the premier league that a sure-fire way of stopping Arsenal’s play is to disrupt the rhythm of the game.

This is something Bolton did very effectively, but the Gunners were equal to the task of soldiering on and unleashing Wengerball when they got the slightest chance to pass the ball around. The second half was all Arsenal and you did wonder if the memo was finally delivered in the home dressing room at half time.

Captain Fabulous was at it again weaving the play and giving Bolton a very big headache, but Arsenal’s first goal in the dying throws of the first period from Little Mozart was right out of the top draw.

Jaaskelainen was a spectator watching the ball helplessly sail past him. Rosicky’s back lift was so short the Bolton Keeper didn’t even have time to move an inch. That’s how much of a peach the rocket was.

After that, there was only going to be one winner. Fabregas, Vermaelen, and Arshavin weren’t to be left out of the party. Arsenal literally bum rushed Bolton to the fourth goal and the relentless pressure paid off.

There were a few gems that need to be included in the highlights DVD of the season, including when Arshavin’s sublime shimmy and movement left Robinson tasting the Emirates lawn.

Perhaps the pint-sized Russian should have been less selfish and let Walcott finish the move, but who would blame him for wanting to crown that move by hitting the onion bag himself. Arsenal could have had a cricket score if it wasn’t for the heroics of Jaaskelainen and fair play to the Bolton goalie, he truly earned his corn.

Last night’s game told me two things.

Firstly, Arsenal cannot assume they have the divine right to win every game. They will have to work for it and have the mental fortitude to fight through the difficult games.

Secondly, there’s a hunger and fighting spirit in this Arsenal side that is very heart warming and will stand the club in good stead for the remaining 16 games.

In previous seasons, I don’t think Arsenal could have come back from a two-goal deficit in the way they did last night.

What is not in dispute is that Arsenal are well into this title race and they’re going to fight for it. The manager was spot on in saying that Arsenal haven’t won anything yet, but they most definitely have won the credibility back.

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