Why We Watch: College Football Is Astounding and Incongruous in 09'

Quick, five bucks to anyone that knew who Taylor Wyndham was before the year started?

Double-or-nothing for Coleby Clawson?

Oops, sorry folks, you owe the house. Please, pay up.

In what continues to stupefy the annual religious followers, college football is doing more than putting on a show now four weeks into the season—it's just going flat-out Freudian on everyone. 

It's so backassward that the last two Heisman Trophy winners have gone down to injury in the first four weeks. 

The broken record, as easy as it is to say, must continue to blare for Oklahoma Sooner quarterback, Sam Bradford. 

Bradford, along with his would've-been-1st-round-stud tight end Jermaine Gresham wanted to wash that taste of Gatorade of their mouths after last season's national title loss.

Gresham was lost before the season started due to a knee injury a few days before the season-opener.

Then, enter Clawson, a junior linebacker from Wales, Utah (I know, I know). The blitz came and down went Bradford, his arm, and a shot at an undefeated season for OU. 

Coming at the hands of, BYU.

BYU, the media's anointed BCS-buster for 2009. 

Max Hall, who previously crumbled like the warm, oven-baked chocolate chip mom makes at halftime, came through and led his Cougars on a drive that would stun the college football universe. 

Then they lost. They didn't just lose. They were part of the backasswardness. 

Florida State came to Provo (A place all those “experts” say is an extremely tough place to play for those outside the Mountain West Conference) and brought the house down on the Cougars, 54-28.

That's not a loss, that's a whoopin' at the hands of Sir Bobby Bowden. 

The Seminoles, fresh off stomping one of the little guys, came back to Tallahassee to face South Florida team minus Matt Grothe.

It didn’t matter. B.J. Daniels led the Bulls to a 17-7 win. 

Who?

That's what I'm sayin'!

It's one thing to have highly-ranked teams lose, yeah. But, to have a weekend in which No. 4, 5, and 6 hit kersplat on the concrete, now that's something to talk about, hell, something to write about. 

And unfortunately for those who salivate over the major upsets, Dan Mullen's Mississippi State squad was one-yard short of sending No. 7 LSU back to the bayou scalp-scratching. 

It's been something else, to be perfectly honest. 

It's rivaled the season premiere of Heroes, The Office, 30 Rock and, AND Grey's Anatomy. 

Steve Sarkisian welcomed in former boss, Pete Carroll into Husky Stadium and helped his quarterback Jake Locker exorcise his goose-egged demons of 2008. 

Sark', the grasshopper. Petey, the sensei. Pfft, easy. Huskies-1, Trojans-0. 

The very next week, Washington heads to Palo Alto, Calif., to march against Jim Harbaugh and the Stanford Cardinal and get mollywhopped, 34-14. 

What's going on? Is there a clear-cut picture of how this season, only four weeks old, still having its diaper changed, will play out?

Yeah, Mickey has a better chance of making broomsticks do "the Jerk". 

The nation's longest winning streak came to a halt in Eugene, Ore., after the Ducks bested the Utes, 31-24 at Autzen Stadium. There were no hay-makers, just a team willed to victory at home behind its raucous fans.

Autzen is a place to steer clear of this season, FYI. 

Formerly No. 6 Cal left Eugene with every reason to slouch and take the quiet bus, plane, and car ride back home. 

42-3. Jahvid Best was anything but and finished with 55 yards on 16 carries and zero—count em'—zero touchdowns. 

Mr. Best best hope he has one hell of a showing when the Trojans come to Strawberry Canyon, or the Heisman hopeful may have to stick to teams like Maryland, Eastern Washington and Minnesota. 

I give all the credit in the world to the Ducks, too. First-year coach Chip Kelly lost his starting tailback after he went all Tyson on everyone up in Boise, ID., and rallied his troops to beat two quality teams in back-to-back weeks. 

Somewhere, Chris Peterson has a grin the size of the Joker painted on his face. 

There was Miami, who had arguably the toughest schedule to kick off the 2009 season in the country. The kool-aid was being drank by everyone in college football, and all the national pundits fell to their knees as a rain-soaked day in Blacksburg brought the 'Canes back to seeing-eye level. 

It surely is a “flavor of the week” type theme in college football.

These supposed rankings are supposed to show that the top-level teams in college football are this good. They're ranked up this high for a reason. 

2009 has disproved that mightily. After the conclusion of the fourth week of the season, 15 teams moved up or down at least three spots in the AP Top 25. 

Is anyone really that good this year or is the newest flavor of Fanta just really, totally irresistible to taste?

So, bye-bye, Cal. Night-night, Ole Miss, and sleep tight, Joe Pa. 

While we're on the subject of sleeping tight, Tim Tebow is one tough mother.

He got knocked out three-ways to Sunday, and yet he still was able to walk-off on his own measure and make it to the sideline just in time to lose his breakfast, lunch, and dinner in a red trash bag as the Gators wrapped up what would be a blase win against Kentucky. 

As if the season needed anymore headlines or eye-rubbing disbelief going on, Superman was knocked out cold by some kid from Swansea, S.C., in a 34-7 rout.

The untouchable fell.

If there are any lessons to be learned thus far in this young season, it's that nothing should be taken with a grain of salt. One must rather prepare themselves for the unthinkable and press forward. 

Yes, Bradford may return in time to go up against Miami and Jacory Harris, the media's darling for the first three weeks of the season, but he may not. 

Tebow is all sorts of concussed and out of the hospital. 

Boise State is still in the driver's seat of BCS-busting with a schedule as easy as Paris Hilton from here on out. 

To all the fans out there, caution.

Be aware of what you're buying this season. If you're going all in, by all means, know the consequences before you seal your fate, because the house is wary beyond all belief. 

They've even opened up a new game on the floor entitled: "Backassward” and it's as perplexing and discombobulated as college football is in 2009.