John Calipari Surprises Student with Luxury Tent, Leaves Framed Headshot by Bed

I used to hate the University of Kentucky.

As an Indiana basketball fan with decades of disappointment in the gut and two inches of dust on the banners, I found it easy to look at Kentucky and see a mortal enemy—particularly in John sunshine-on-his-Pomade Calipari.

The recent championships. The annual blue-chip monsoon. The out-of-touch fans who tear their robes in despair after every season that doesn't end in a national championship. There's always been hate fodder aplenty for Kentucky outsiders.

So when Calipari came sashaying into Lexington in 2009 to take over for Billy GIllispie, it was perfect. Calipari was the villain I wanted in Kentucky.

"This dude's a cheater. He thinks he's God's gift. You could grease a Slip 'n Slide with this man."

The malice came easily.

But as I've grown older, my stance on this matter has changed. I no longer hate Kentucky. Furthermore, I understand that Calipari is a weird, irreplaceable gift—a caricature of the game like Dick Vitale or Gene Keady.

And he reminds me of this every time he mock-roasts Dicky V, inspires Drake as a motivational speaker or tries to convince a room of adults he can't turn on a computer.

I find great humor in these uniquely Caliparian moments, and his latest exhibition of inimitable Cal-ness is no exception. This one involves Calipari giving a Kentucky student a framed picture of he—himself—John Calipari.

The gifting occurred Friday as UK students erected tents outside Rupp Arena ahead of Kentucky's annual season-ticket sale. Calipari visited Savanna Schlueter, the winner of Kentucky's "Glamping" promo, in her brand-new luxury tent.

It was, indeed, a luxurious tent outfitted with two Tempur-Pedic beds, a sound system, copies of Calipari's published works and oh—what's that over there?

BR

Closer.

BR

Getting there.

BR

Oh my god.

BR

There it is, the crown fixture: a freakin' framed headshot of Calipari on the nightstand.

This is it—the most John Calipari thing of all things. It's elemental, uncut. There is nothing more Calipari than presenting a gift to someone that just happens to contain your own headshot tossed in like a ring at the bottom of a Cracker Jack box. It's perfect.

That the tent would come with a framed picture of Calipari is all you need to know about the guy who was to give the tent away. It was a fantastic, authentic touch, and I choose to believe Calipari asked for it personally, no matter how much he acts like this is all news to him.

Bear in mind, this is the same guy who tried to tell us last week that he's incapable of pushing an "On" button. He knows how to cultivate an image. It may be his greatest talent.

Dan is on Twitter. He'll still rub the Wat Shot in UK's face until the day he is but dust.