Buccaneers Launch 'RED' Campaign to Teach Women Football and Accessorizing

Hey, girl. 

Are you a football fan? Have you been watching the game all of your life but always harbored a secret hope that one day a man would explain it to you in simple terms? How about bedazzling lessons? Would you like that as a side cart to the mansplaining? 

If this sounds appealing, you might want to check out the Tampa Bay Buccaneers' new "RED Women's Movement," an initiative aimed at "providing [women with] a better understanding of the game."

The team announced the campaign Thursday, explaining all the ways female fans will come together to become better dressers, cooks and football fans:

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RED will provide female Buccaneers fans with year-round educational experiences focused on providing a better understanding of the game, along with unprecedented access to their favorite team. In addition, RED will re-invent the female fan experience by providing insight into topics such as: what goes on behind the scenes on gamedays at Raymond James Stadium; how to maximize their gameday experience; how to blend personal Buccaneer pride with the latest NFL fashions; as well as tips on sharing their experiences and ideas via social media platforms such as Pinterest.

RED members will also have access to exclusive networking events throughout the year designed to encourage interaction while providing practical advice on how to express their love for the Bucs into original design projects, fashion-forward team apparel and creative culinary creations.

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Tampa's RED Movement website already has its first lesson up: unraveling the mysteries of the so-called "play clock."

Margaret Bowles/Associated Press

Incredibly, some people find the Buccaneers' new home-ec program a touch condescending:

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I wish football teams would realize that women don't need nail polish to enjoy football. We need to be able to attend games w/o being groped

— Lindsey Adler (@Lahlahlindsey) August 6, 2015"

Clear your Pinterest boards (because you have one), Buccanettes, and gather around the he-hearth for story time with special guest speaker/Buccaneers general manager Jason Licht, who'll explain to you all the ins and outs of putting together a team capable of going down 56-0 against an Atlanta Falcons defense comprised of exactly five wet body pillows. 

You need this knowledge, because this year is the year you take your football smarts and seven-layer dip to the next level!

Dan is on Twitter. RED Term of the Week 2: "Footballs: They're leather, like a purse."