Best Sports-Related Newspaper Headlines

Laura Depta@lauradeptaFeatured ColumnistMay 21, 2015

GLENDALE, AZ - FEBRUARY 01:  New England Patriot fans support their team prior to Super Bowl XLIX at University of Phoenix Stadium on February 1, 2015 in Glendale, Arizona.  (Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)
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Deflategate has inspired a lot of creative newspaper headlines. It's great when papers have a little fun with sports puns, isn't it? Let's check out some gems from the past few years—nothing too vulgar, just succinct, delightfully clever headlines.

Damned Yankee

Alex Rodriguez was suspended for 211 games for PED use in 2013, and the newspapers had a field day. Always a favorite, the New York Post chose a headline that played on the popular musical, Damn Yankees. A-Rod's penalty was later reduced to 162 games, still the longest drug-related suspension in MLB history.


Das Booted

Germany's 7-1 dismantling of Brazil in the 2014 World Cup was complete and shocking. Metro had one of the best postgame headlines, using a play on a German phrase.  

"Das boot" actually means "the boat" in German and is also the title of a German war film. But obviously, this headline also just sounds like a German way of saying Brazil got booted (unceremoniously) out of the tournament.


USA Wins!

Remember when the U.S. lost to Germany in the 2014 World Cup but advanced anyway? The New York Post took that opportunity to resurrect an old joke of theirs. The 2014 headline was "USA wins! Headed to next round after Germans beat them."

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This was a throwback to that time during the 2010 World Cup when the paper ran the following headline: "USA Wins 1-1." The team had tied England in its first tournament game, but for the Americans, it was one of those "we didn't win, but we kind of did" moral-victory type of games.  

To the gullibly uninformed, the headline might've looked like a typo. For those who read further, the subheadline read, "Greatest tie against the British since Bunker Hill."


This Sport is Stupid Anyway

While the 2010 World Cup started out OK for the U.S., the Americans were eventually eliminated by Ghana in the round of 16. The New York Post was at it again, printing the headline of soccer fans scorned, lashing out at the team for disappointing them yet again.


What If?

The play that sealed Super Bowl XLIX for the New England Patriots was the source of much controversy in the weeks that followed. A Seattle Seahawks pass play resulted in an interception, and many wondered why the Seahawks hadn't chosen to hand the ball off to star running back Marshawn Lynch on 2nd-and-goal.

The Seahawks lost the game, and the Seattle Times summed up what was likely the predominant feeling among fans in the northwest. 


My Balls are Perfect

Deflategate has inspired many a ball joke since last season's AFC Championship Game. One of the best, however, was the "My Balls are Perfect" gem from the Daily News. It encapsulated Tom Brady's alleged lies, his near-perfect public image and the scandal at hand, all in four succinct words.


THE University of Dayton

You know how people who went to Ohio State are always harping on how the rest of the world references their alma mater? "It's THE Ohio State University!" Right. Anyway.

In 2014, the Dayton Flyers beat the Buckeyes in a 60-59 nail-biter to advance to the Sweet 16 of the NCAA men's basketball tournament. The Dayton Daily News reacted accordingly.


Lambeau Bleep

It's pretty bad when your own newspaper trolls you. The Chicago Bears felt that burn in November 2014 after suffering a loss to their rival Green Bay Packers. The Packers ran out to a 42-0 lead in the first half at Lambeau Field, and the final score ended up an embarrassing 55-14. The Chicago Tribune and Chicago Sun-Times ran twin headlines the next day, playing on the name of a great Packer tradition.  


Gone.

When LeBron James made his big decision in 2010, the Plain Dealer in Cleveland went with a succinct, one-word headline and a picture of James walking away. There was a fitting jab to the King subtly included in there too: "7 years in Cleveland. No rings."


That 'Sheed Creigh

Duke faced Creighton in the round of 32 during the 2013 NCAA men's basketball tournament. Duke guard Rasheed Sulaimon led the way with 21 points, and the Blue Devils prevailed, 66-50, to advance to the Sweet 16.

Duke's student newspaper had a boss headline the next day.


Sonics Advance to Finals, Oh Wait

The Seattle SuperSonics relocated to Oklahoma City in 2008 and almost immediately started making playoff appearances. Many Seattle fans were unhappy with the loss of their team and, perhaps, its success under another name.

Maybe that's why, when the Oklahoma City Thunder advanced to the NBA Finals in 2012, the Tri-City Herald in Kennewick, Washington, printed such a snarky headline.


Stuart Scott Tribute

Legendary sports broadcaster Stuart Scott died in January of cancer. The Virginian-Pilot paid tribute in an amazing and creative way, using Scott's signature catchphrases in all of the sports front-page headlines.