Cubs Fans Unite In Laughter As Former Cubs Make News

OK, maybe I'm a little goofy this evening, but I just read a couple headlines that made me crack up and wanted to share some fantastic comedy with my fellow Chicago Cubs' fans.

Anyone remember the name of the baby-faced kid that was going to be a 20-time All Star centerfielder for the Chicago Cubs about five or six years ago?

No, not Jerome Walton. Too far back.

Roosevelt Brown? Nah, he had a certain "Greg Oden" quality that would exclude him from the "baby face" qualification.

No, Cubs fans, I'm talking about Corey Patterson, the older brother of the kid the Cubs traded in the package for Rich Harden.

Funny thing is, Eric Patterson had very little value compared to his brother, Corey, coming up through the Cubs system. And yet it was Eric that the Cubs packaged in a deal to actually receive a player of some substance.

Corey was dropped like an old bowling shirt at a Goodwill Store.

Since the C-Pat Era ended at Wrigley Field, he's seen action all over the Eastern Time Zone. He's been to Baltimore, Cincinnati and, most recently, Washington. He was released by the worst team in baseball on July 29, allowing him to take his limitless abilities to disappoint somewhere fresh.

Now he'll get his chance in Milwaukee.

What a fantastic piece of news for cynical Cubs fans! The Brewers are waving the white flag of surrender on their season by signing Corey Patterson to a minor league contract.

Why would Milwaukee do such a thing? Because there's a lot of game left in his 30-year- old legs. Seriously, I promise.

This little nugget of glory comes on the same day that reports out of San Diego (the one's not involving Jake Peavy) are that Mark Prior will be waived by the Padres.

The best part of that piece of news is that the only part if that would be considered "Breaking News" is that Prior is still in baseball.

There has to be an In and Out Burger that'll hire the one-time Cy Young runner-up, and maybe he can work his way up to shift manager by October when his buddy Corey needs a new gig as well.