WWE Extreme Rules: Mysterio Unmasked, Show Taps, Punk Cashes In

This PPV was formerly known as One Night Stand.  After watching it, I think they should’ve just stuck to it because it wasn’t that extreme.  Below is a recap of what happened, and maybe I’ll say something else.

Fatal Four Way Match for the US Championship (Kofi Kingston vs. MVP vs. Matt Hardy vs. Regal)

Matt Hardy tries to talk Regal into teaming up against the other two.  Regal looks to be agreeing only to push Matt towards Kofi and MVP.  Matt pays him back, and pushes Regal towards Kofi and MVP too.  And all hell broke loose from there.

                Kofi leaped out of the ring to MVP and Matt, then got back in and covers Regal.  MVP gets in and he and Kofi gets pummeled by Regal.  We hear the crowd go “Regal Sucks!” at this point.  Regal suplexes Kofi who was on the top turn buckle, but MVP tried to stop it.  It still goes and the three of them crashes to the mat.  Matt takes advantage and focuses on MVP.

                Kofi gets back in the mix and as Cole said, (I can’t believe I’m quoting him.) “Bodies flying everywhere!”  So yeah, it’s kind of hard to see everything.

But there were lots of good spots though. Kofi goes after MVP. He worked on him at one corner then Regal pulled Kofi off MVP by the hair down to the mat.  That really looks rough by the way.

                Regal takes MVP out with an elbow that dropped him from the apron.  Then he tries to throw Kofi out of the ring but Kofi caught the top rope, drop kicks Regal and went for the pin for a three count.

                Kofi Kingston retains the US Championship.

                It was a pretty good match.  If I actually cared about anyone in this match I’d give it a 5, but I don’t so 4.5 out of 5 will have to do.

No Holds Barred Match for the Intercontinental Championship (Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Jericho)

               Jericho’s music played but he didn’t come out.  They show him outside in the merchandise stand.  (Why is he so mad?  Maybe no one was buying his merchandise. LOL).  He walks towards the ring through the isle from the nosebleed seats, and occasionally snaps at the fans when they touch him.  Now, I love heels but I’m getting tired of his whining.

                After Jericho’s lengthy speech, Rey finally comes out.  He goes after Jericho as soon as the bell rang.  They go at it outside the ring.  Rey starts out strong, slamming Y2J to the announce table face first, and then all over the place, (Read: On both stairs and around the security walls.) before putting him back into the ring.  Chris regains control then.  He catapults Rey to the bottom rope.

                Rey gets up and goes to the top turnbuckle but Y2J pushes him off.  Jericho tries a springboard move but Rey kicks him out of the ring to the floor.  Jericho tries to get back up, but Rey does a 619 on the ring post, then splashes on Y2J with a cross body.

                Back in the ring Y2J tries a Wall, but Rey turns that into the cradle and gets a two.  Lot’s of near falls from there.  Then Rey attempts the 619 again but Jericho counters and pulls a back breaker, which almost gave him a three count.  People started to cheer for Jericho. I guess they want the mask off too. And Jericho almost pulled it off him, and we can see half of Rey’s face.

                This is my favorite sequence of the whole match:  Jericho gets a chair but Mysterio drop kicks it to his face and gets a two.  Rey puts the chair under his legs as he did the leg drop, which he hit. 

                 Jericho tries the Walls again, but Rey reached for the chair and hits his head with it.  Rey was going for the 619 when Jericho pulls off his mask and got him off his tracks.  Rey squirms into the ring, covering his face.  Jericho takes advantage of that and pins him for a three.

Jericho is the new IC Champ.  Rey scurries outta there covering his face.  C’mon, is that fair?  Probably half the people there wanted to see his face.  I want to see his face.  It was exciting though.  Those two always give a good show together.  I’ll give it 4.8 though because Mysterio didn’t show his face.

Backstage Segment: Batista is interviewed by Josh Matthews after the video of last Monday’s Raw with Flair and Orton.  Batista gave some chilling remarks.  I think he actually delivered that pretty well.  He told Orton he was gonna take the WWE Championship, his pride, his health, and then destroy his legacy.  (And I hoped not.)

Samoan Strap Match (CM Punk vs. Umaga)

                The rule is that you have to touch the four top turnbuckles to win.  Umaga touches two early.  Then Punk gets one.  Umaga hits Punk repeatedly with the strap, and gave him a couple of headbutts.  Then he gets out of the ring and drags Punk to the corner and pulls his arm off using the strap.  He gets Punk out of the ring, and went in.  He grabs two turnbuckles but couldn’t get to the third because the strap isn’t long enough and Punk’s still outside the ring.

                Punk gets back in and tried a GTS but it didn’t go.  The strap gets tangled in between Umaga’s legs, and Punk used that opportunity to crush his set. (LOL).  Punk goes for a running knee and a bulldog to knock Umaga down.  He touched 3 turnbuckles until Umaga pulled him back to the middle of the ring for a beat down.  Umaga touches 3, but Punk held on the ropes to prevent him from reaching the fourth.  Umaga ran towards him and he pulled the rope down to send Umaga crashing to the floor.

                People actually started to cheer for the heel.  I love this crowd.  Umaga gets back up and goes up top a turnbuckle.  Punk pulls him down tumbling to the middle of the ring.  Punk gets three turnbuckles and Umaga tries to stop No. 4.  Umaga ran towards Punk only to be put into the GTS.  Punk touches a fourth turnbuckle and the win.

                This is a 4 for me.

Triple Threat Hardcore Match for the ECW title (Christian vs. Swagger vs. Dreamer)

                There was a “Thank You Tommy” sign at ringside so it made me think maybe Dreamer’s retiring.

                It started pretty slow, but it didn’t take long until Dreamer brought out a Kendo stick and Christian took a trash can cover.  They both went after Swagger.   (Side note: ECW announce team needs to speak more.  They’re boring me.) Tommy tries to pin Swag but Christian stopped him.  It was only a matter of time before those two went for each other.

                Tommy sets Swag upside down on the corner of the ring, and puts a trash can in front of his face.  He does the whole “E-C-W” chant while pounding his chest, but Christian pulled his leg under the rope.  He gets back in the ring and copied the “E-C-W” chant and chest pound, and drop kicks the can onto Swag’s face.

                Lot’s of crash and burn moves followed.  Swag uncovers a turnbuckle but Tommy hits his head with a stick from the outside.  He comes in and hits Christian with a trash can cover.

                Dreamer puts in some three or four cans in the ring.  He gets in and gets decked by Swag.  Jack sets the cans up in a row and attempts to suplex Tommy on them from the top rope.  But Christian gets under his legs and hits a double suplex.  The crowd goes “Oh My God.”  Well, the ringside people anyway.

                Jack gets up and attempts the Swagger bomb (what’s that called, anyway?) on Christian, but Dreamer stopped him by hitting his side with the crutch.  Dreamer DDT’s Swag and gets a three count.

                Tommy Dreamer is the New ECW Champion.  He may never retire. LOL.  Seriously, it was good match.  I’m gonna give it a 5.

Hog Pen Match for the Miss Wrestlemania Title (Vickie Guerrero vs. Santina Marella)

                I personally do not care about this match.  But it was funny.

                Santina enters the pen first, then Vickie comes out accompanied by Chavo.  She’s wearing a gown. And I ask: Why?  It’s a pigsty!  And then, Vickie turns it into a handicap match.  Chavo gets punked.

                Chavo gets in the pen, and the bell rings.  Santina threw mud, Chavo threw punches, and then it’s on.  At one point Santina was on the mud lying face down, so Vickie wants in to get the pin.  Santina gets up, Chavo gets a pail of slop and accidentally splashed it on Vickie as Santina ducked.  Santina dumps a slop bucket on Chavo’s head and then threw a punch knocking Chavo down.  Vickie tried to get out of the pen but Sanitna pulls her back in and pins her.  Santina wins.  Chavo and Vickie rolled around the mud.

Whatever.  I don’t want to give a score.

Backstage Segment:  This was more interesting than the Hog Pen Match.  Edge was waiting for Vickie in her office and saw her with mud all over.  “Two months away from me and look at what you’ve become!”  Says Edge.  That made me laugh.  Then it all unraveled.  Edge drops the “D” word.  That’s divorce for you.

And somewhere Andrea Claire is saying “Hell yeah!” LOL.

Steel Cage Match for the WWE Championship (Randy Orton vs. Batista)

                As the cage was lowered I start to get nervous.  Randy comes out looking really serious.  Crowd chants RKO.  Batista follows and gets a louder reaction from the crowd, as expected.

                Bell rings and Orton tried to escape the cage early.  He almost got out too, but Batista held on to his head and pulled him back in.  Batista slams his head twice on the top of the cage, and pushed him down the mat.  Batista speared Orton twice while he’s on the apron, he tried a third but Orton averted.  Orton tries to escape again, and got pulled back in again.

                Batista starts beating on Orton.  Batista whipped him across the ring but he kicked him on the head.  Orton tries to go out the door but Batista caught him.  Orton delivered an inverted back breaker and then went for the door again.  Batista pulled at his leg again to keep him inside.  Batista continues the beatdown, and slams Orton on each side of the cage.

                Orton trips Batista by a drop toehold, sending his head to the second turnbuckle.  Orton gains control and stomps on Batista.  He hesitates a bit and paid for it with a slam.  Batista tries the Bomb, but Randy counters with a backdrop sending Batista to the apron.  He pulls a standing dropkick slamming Batista against the cage.

                Orton had a chance to escape but he didn’t.  I wish he’d taken that chance, but he had to try the Punt.  He didn’t connect and Batista puts him on the Batista Bomb which didn’t connect.  Randy tried the RKO but it didn’t go, and Batista puts him on the Batista Bomb again.  This time it connected, and Batista got the pin and the win.

                Batista is the WWE Champ and Raw is dead.  (LOL okay, I’ll give it a chance.)

                Anyway, I think it was kind of short.  There was no blood.  No injury either (that one I’m happy with).  How is this extreme anyway?  They have steel cage matches on regular shows.  Hell, last Monday’s raw saw more blood than this one.

                I’m gonna give it only a 3.5  …because Orton lost. Hehe.  What this means for Raw, I have no idea.

Submission Match (John Cena vs. Big Show)

                I actually lost focus on this match because of the Orton loss, but I’ll try.

                Big Show was pretty much in control from the get-go.  He swatted Cena out of the ring with one arm when Cena came flying towards him.  Cena does his shit (can I say that?), but gets trumped by Big Show all the time. 

               Big Show tried to put on a Full Nelson but couldn’t lock it.  Cena escapes and puts on a sleeper hold, which staggered Show down to one knee until he pulls Cena off him.

                Show puts Cena on his shoulders and dropped him face first to the mat.  It hurt them both I think.  Show then tries to strangle Cena using the ropes but Cena escapes.  Show attempts a splash but Cena escapes that too.  (It’s really the same thing over and over.)

                Show puts Cena on the abdominal stretch. Cena turned that to a DDT and then attempts an STF but failed.  (Why does he keep doing that?)  Cena goes up to the turnbuckle and jumps on to Show, Show catches him and puts him a bear hug.  Cena broke the hold and then we get the Five-knuckle shuffle.  Show attempts the choke slam but failed.

                Cena goes Attitude Adjustment and it connects, then he tried the STF again but gets elbowed in the face.  (John, do something else!)  He gets a right hand punch from Show that knocked him down and out of the ring.  Show followed and tried to hit his head to the ring post.  He escaped and knocked Show’s head on the post instead.

                As show was getting back in the ring, Cena goes to the top rope and leg drops on Show.  He pulled Show’s leg out a bit and hooked it between the ropes and pulls another STF, which actually just looks like a chin lock.  (Why does he need the leg bended anyway?)  Show taps out and Cena wins.

                So, would this mean Cena’s through with Show?  I hope so.  Anyway, I’ll be fair and give it a 4.

Ladder Match for the World Heavyweight Championship (Edge vs. Jeff Hardy)

                Momentum swung back and fourth early on, as expected.  Lots of good stunts and spots too.

                Edge tries a suplex, Hardy counters with a face first suplex of his own.  Jeff goes out of the ring to get a ladder, Edge baseball slides towards him from the ring and the ladder and Jeff’s rib cage met in a crash. Somehow Jeff got back into the ring and managed to throw Edge out to an awaiting ladder rib first.

                Edge gets back in, and they beat each other up for a while.  Jeff gets crushed between the legs with a ladder (Ouch!).  Edge spears his way through a ladder.  Edge puts Hardy’s legs on an open ladder and shut it together like a pair of scissors.  Then he puts Jeff on a Sharpshooter while still in between the ladder.

                Then Edge sets a ladder under the belt and climbed it only for the ladder to be dropped kicked by Hardy from a corner turnbuckle. Hardy gets up, sets up a ladder and suplexed Edge onto it. 

                Jeff took another ladder, a longer one and sets that up in the ring.  He goes back to Edge and pulls the Twist of Fate.  He climbs the longer ladder, but it’s far from the belt so he jumps and grabbed the belt.  Edge yanked him down and Jeff crashes to the fallen ladder below.  The belt was still hanging above.

                Jeff gets up again and pulls the Whisper in the Wind from the really long ladder, which was about 20 feet up.  He gets another ladder in to the ring, clothesline Edge over the top rope, but he falls down too.  Edge got up first and sets up a ladder between the ring and the security wall and tries to suplex Jeff on it.  Hardy escapes that though. 

Edge slams Jeff to the steel steps and security wall.  Edge took the top part of the steel steps and tried to hit Jeff with it but Jeff tripped him.  Jeff pulls a running neck breaker on him over the security wall.  Then Jeff placed Edge on the ladder Edge set up between the ring and security wall earlier. 

Here’s your HOLY SHIT moment: Jeff climbs another ladder, and looked like he was going to do Swanton Bomb on Edge lying face down on the other ladder.  But Edge got up and climbed the opposite side of the ladder Jeff was on.  The ladder tips over and sends them both crashing to the other ladder, breaking it in two.

They both got back to the ring.  Two ladders were there.  Jeff climbs one under the belt, and Edge climbed the other one.  They turned to face each other, and they both jumped at each other at the same time, but Jeff pulled a Twist of Fate on the way down.

Jeff climbs up the ladder again and Edge followed and pulls him down.  Edge climbed the ladder but Jeff pulled his legs through the middle of the ladder.  Edge was stuck hanging and couldn’t get out.  Jeff climbs up to the top of the ladder and took the belt!  Jeff Hardy wins!

AND THEN…..!!!!

CM Punk decides to cash in his MiTB suitcase!  He gets booed.  Bell ring and he goes to the GTS quickly, covers and gets a two as Jeff kicked out.  How did he do that?!  Jeff gets Punk in a cradle and gets two.  Punk goes for GTS again and it’s a three!  Punk is Champ!

What the hell?!  Jeff gets all of what? Two minutes?  Oh, well… What does this mean though?  Maybe Punk will turn heel and feud with Jeff?  Is Edge dropping the Ultimate Opportunist moniker and giving it to Punk?

We’ll just have to see on Friday.  But I’m giving this a 5.