Orlando Magic Head Coach Stan Van Gundy Shocked By Game One Victory

When asked to comment Wednesday night during his post-game press conference on how his team managed pulled off a surprising Game One victory, despite a stellar outing by LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers, Orlando Magic Head Coach Stan Van Gundy hazily responded, "I have no idea. I mean I'm at a complete loss right now."

Van Gundy, at the podium, appeared to be despondent and confused, and, as so often is the case, looked to be sweating.

When prodded further, Van Gundy continued:

"I don't know what you want me to say, guys. I mean I'm looking at the stat sheet, and I can't believe my eyes. Dwight [Howard] had 30 points and 13 boards, Rashard [Lewis] was 9-for-13 from the field. That just wasn't the team I've seen since we've been in the playoffs. We've watched no film. None! I've been in a complete panic for two days. I told everyone I'd be in my office, ordering new workout T-shirts to wear with my suit, and to just go play 'knock-out' or something. I did everything in my power to make sure we were completely unprepared coming out of the locker room, and yet somehow we end up looking like this."

Van Gundy's disappointment seemed a bit displaced, given that his team won the game.

But, you have to understand something about "Stan Van". He is very particular that his teams play a certain way—erratic, unintelligent, and soft. If he feels like he can't get that from the players he has, he doesn't tend to handle it very well.

"Somehow between now and Game Two, we have to get back to working horrible shots, and leaving Dwight with his hands waving in the air," Van Gundy continued, "like we did against Boston."

In response to what adjustments he planned on making for Game Two, Van Gundy opined:

"I guess we have to look at running zero guys at LeBron, or starting Adonal Foyle. I don't know, but something's gotta change, or we're gonna find ourselves in the Finals before we know it.

"Nothing else? OK. Thanks guys."