WWE Letter of the Week: Goldberg Writes to Ryback

The following is meant to be a comical, entertaining piece based on both my opinions and popular comments made by fans as they watch Ryback each week. Every week will be a new letter to and from a new person. Enjoy.

—LaBar

To: Ryback
From: Goldberg

Dear Ryback—I mean Skip Sheffield...I mean Ryan Reeves. I don't know what to call you because you are a repackaged, watered-down, forced-down-our-throats version of me—GOLDBERG.

Yeah, brother, I had one name, and that's all I ever need because I was so over. With me, they did something simple like film me from the locker room walking to the ring. It was not a first, but it worked. The entrance had a big-fight feel to it 'cause I had a big-fight feel to me. I had a big-fight feel because I was dominant and beat credible opponents.

My first opponent was Hugh Morris. Allow me to break down the differences between Hugh Morris and your opponents.

At the time I beat Hugh Morris, he had more matches in his career than all of your weak opponents combined.

I beat Hugh Morris in 1997, were your opponents out of diapers yet?

I beat Hugh Morris in 1997, 15 years later, he is the top trainer for the developmental organization you need to go back to and ask them to help you find a new gimmick.

Hugh Morris was 280 pounds. It takes two of your opponents combined to make that weight.

I beat Hugh Morris, it counted as one dominant win. You beat two guys in one match, you think you are 2-0.

You have to beat two scrubs to try and make yourself look better. I prefer to beat one legitimate name and make them famous.

I said, “Who's Next?” You say “Feed Me More.” Yeah, that will sell. Let me see that on a t-shirt. Loser.

What aggravates me the most, you got real talent but are putting a sour taste in the fans mouth with this handicap-match crap. First impressions are key. You would have been better off capitalizing of your Skip Sheffield character.

You did not dress or act like me so the comparisons were not drawn between us. You made a dominant impact with Nexus while they were taking over WWE. You had funny catchphrases when on NXT. The Skip Sheffield character could have gotten over as heel or face.

I've gotten more fans asking me when I'm going to come in and have a match against you. NEVER. Did The Rolling Stones ever tour with a Rolling Stones cover band? No.

Get yourself famous on something little more original, than we'll talk.

By the way, get some new ring gear. I at least taking off the best at the time in Stone Cold Steve Austin. Rob Van Dam has not been the top guys since ECW in 1997.

Sincerely,

Goldberg

Click here to read last week's Letter of the Week, with a hardcore wrestling fan writing to Brock Lesnar.

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