The Doctor's Weekly WWE Raw Recap: The 208 Things We Learned, Loved and Hated

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to my weekly recap list. I always appreciate my loyal readers, but for those of you who are new, each week I recap Raw with a long list.

The entries are made up of equal parts observations, humor, recap, play-by-play, revelations, speculations, questions, answers and anything else I notice during the show. I sometimes comment on commercials, too, just because I get bored during them.

I am working on something to add to the recap lists which should be finalized soon.

I try and interject some fun into these lists, so I hope you have fun reading this week's list of the 208 things we learned, loved and hated from the show.

1. Michael Cole welcomes us to a special three-hour Monday Night Raw.
2. John Laurinaitis opens up the show to some good heat from the crowd.
3. Big Johnny comes out with his now-trademark scooter complete with People Power logos all over it.
4. Cole still supports Johnny Ace despite being put in a match with John Cena last week.
5. JL tries to introduce himself, but he has NO CHANCE, NO CHANCE IN HELL.
6. Vince McMahon comes out looking very chipper to a nice pop from the crowd.
7. Ha! Ace extends his hand to Vinnie Mac, who replies "I'm not going to shake your hand; I have no idea where it's been."
8. Vince asks why he shouldn't fire Johnny right now.
9. Ace says he has done things for the fans leading up to the 100th episode of Raw.
10. It's 1,000th, Johnny.
11. He says the fans love him and Vince asks the crowd if they do. Clearly, they do not.
12. A "Fire Johnny" chant starts up as JL tries to point out the similarities between himself and Vince.
13. Hahahaha! Vince says to Johnny "You are actually the person who hired the wrong one-legged wrestler." True story.
14. Vince says Big Show has not performed well since 1999 and is a horrible investment for WWE to have made on Johnny's decision.
15. JL brings up Vince's head being shoved up Show's butt at the hands of DX. Cole struggles to hold in some laughs.
16. At least one fan is here for the Divas, at least that's what his sign says.
17. Sheamus comes out as Johnny is trying to plead his case to Vince.
18. I was sort of hoping it would be Ricardo Rodriguez dressed as Sheamus.
19. Sheamus says Vinnie Mac looks great and it is his duty to come out here and tell him that Johnny is a friend. Such a good friend in fact that he will fine you $500,000 just for running into him.
20. Vince points out that #FireJohnny is trending worldwide to a nice pop from the crowd.
21. Vince seems like he is in good spirits tonight. Always a good sign.
22. Sheamus calls JL the worst GM in history and JL says he will go find Sheamus an opponent right now.
23. Vince stops him and says that every match needs to be impressive or he will be fired at the end of the night.
24. JL leaves his scooter at ringside and he hobbles to the back to go grab an opponent for Sheamus.
25. Nice. Vince gets on Johnny's Rascal and rides it up the ramp, just to end up pushing it off the stage to the delight of the crowd.

26. For some reason I feel that Vince McMahon could potentially be the funniest man in WWE. He always gets a laugh out of me when he has fun in his segments. Good start to the show in my opinion.
27. After the break, we see JL come out and bring out Tensai to face Sheamus.
28. I am curious if Tensai's abuse of Sakamoto will turn into a feud between them down the line. I don't know anything about Sakamoto though, so maybe that's wrong.
29. Sheamus and Tensai lock up right away and try to push each other all over the ring.
30. The two men exchange running shoulder blocks, but Tensai does not get knocked down when Sheamus hits his.
31. Sheamus is in control until Tensai hits him in the face with a big elbow.
32. It's nice to see King put over Tensai's work in Japan. I hope they keep acknowledging when wrestlers have experience outside of WWE for more future stars. The first step was letting CM Punk and Daniel Bryan talk about the indies and now Tensai gets a lot of credit for his work in Japan. This can only be seen as a step in the right direction.
33. After the break, we see Tensai is still in control, but Sheamus is giving him a good fight.
34. This is Tensai's best match in WWE so far. He is using the traditional WWE style again while mixing in his Japanese influence.
35. Nice. A Vader splash from Tensai. I hope Vader makes an appearance tonight. I think I saw somewhere that he was spotted at the arena, but I could be mistaken.
36. Sheamus fights back with some big power moves and ends up with a near fall after hitting a nice running axe-handle.
37. As Sheamus drapes Tensai over the ropes you can really see the bruises starting to form on Tensai's stomach. I guess Sheamus is going pretty stiff in this match.
38. Tensai almost gets the win after hitting the Two-Handed Chokeslam. He starts headbutting Sheamus like a dog.
39. Sheamus ends up hitting a Brogue Kick out of nowhere for the win.
40. I have to say that even thought it was not a wrestling clinic or a long battle, I enjoyed that match. Tensai looked the best since his return and Sheamus continues to impress me more and more as time goes on.
41. Backstage we see Vince telling JL that we just saw strike one and he asks who will face Sheamus on Sunday for the World title.
42. Vickie walks in and suggest Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler. Not a bad idea.
43. Vince agrees with me and says he will consider it unless JL has a better idea.
44. JL asks if Teddy has any input and Teddy points out that we have four former World champions who would all like to face the World Champion, so why not have a Fatal-4-Way.
45. Vince loves the idea and JL sends Teddy off to get coffee.
46. JL tries to give Vinnie Mac a fist-bump and Vince just says "You have small hands" and walks off.
47. I am loving Vince's humor tonight. He needs to come back to television on at least a monthly basis. He really is a great on-screen performer, even if he does make some bad decisions in real life sometimes.
48. Whoa! Am I psychic? Tensai is beating the hell out of Sakamoto when we return from commercial.
49. I swear I did not go back and add that prediction about these two ending up fighting eventually. I just get lucky sometimes.
50. Tensai puts Sakamoto in the claw and pushes him outside the ring, where he continues the abuse to his loyal subject.
51. Someone go grab Yoshi Tatsu and get him out here!
52. This is either the start of something or WWE's way of writing Sakamoto out of Tensai's character.
53. I find it funny how Cole can transition from witnessing a brutal beating to smiling as he introduces a video package of celebrities sharing their memories of WWE.
54. Seth Green looks like a toddler on Triple H's shoulders.
55. R-Truth is backstage talking to himself as Matt Striker comes out and talks to him about Big Show's attack.
56. He says he is fine, but Little Jimmy is really messed up and hasn't been sleeping well.
57. Truth puts over Cena right before Big Show knocks him out with a WMD from out of left field. Well, it was the right side of the screen, but you get what I mean.
58. Santino is out after the commercial. I keep forgetting he is US Champion because he never seems to have a real title defense or feud based around it.
59. Layla is out to be his tag team partner.
60. Lawler says "If Layla doesn't trend, then something is wrong."
61. Agreed.
62. Beth Phoenix and Ricardo Rodriguez will be their opponents. I wonder if the announcers will even mention Santino and Beth's relationship from a couple years ago.
63. Cole uses some creative math to say King would vote to keep John Laurinaitis as GM.
64. Ricardo tags in after a minute, thinking he could wrestle Layla, but after realizing he has to fight Santino, he tags Beth in again.
65. Damn! Two for two. Cole does mention Beth and Santino being in a relationship previously.
66. Layla somehow starts doing a head-scissors to Beth, but ends up hitting the move on Ricardo. That looked impressive.
67. Ha! The Tuxedo Terror runs into the ring post while trying to avoid the Cobra.
68. Let's bring the nickname game back for one night. Come up with a Ricardo Rodriguez tuxedo-themed nickname and leave it in the comments and I will put up some polls for voting on Friday's recap to see who has the best one.
69. Beth ends up getting the win with a Glam Slam to Layla.
70. Ricky is celebrating like he is the one who pulled the weight for his team, and he ends up getting his tux shirt ripped off to reveal he is wearing a very tight Justin Bieber shirt.
71. Kind of a weak attempt if you ask me, but I suppose every segment can't be comedy gold. Hornswoggle proved that when he tried to imitate Jim Ross on SmackDown.
72. David Otunga is backstage trying to suck up to Vince McMahon to get JL's job if he were to be fired.
73. Vince says he doesn't like suck-ups or lawyers, and Kofi Kingston walks in looking for revenge for Truth.
74. Kofi demands a match with Show and JL gives it to him, but it is a cage match.
75. Vince seems moderately impressed with that decision.
76. Daniel Bryan is shown right before commercial with an impressive beard. I just shaved most of mine off so I could look halfway decent for a wedding, and now my face feels incomplete.
77. On a related note, I mentioned on the SmackDown recap that I had cut off most of my hair and donated it to Locks of Love. I encourage anyone who has more than 12 inches of hair and is willing to lose it for a good cause to consider it.
78. A replay of Kane pinning CM Punk last week is shown, but it is more to show what happened between Kane and AJ after the match.
79. D-Bry comes out to what is mostly a positive response from the crowd.
80. What does WWE have to do to get people to boo heels again?
81. Bryan says Punk and Kane both have a weakness, and her name is AJ.
82. He says Kane getting to second base is just having a woman look at him and not vomit. Classy.
83. Oh, man. I totally laughed out loud when Bryan said "Once you go Bryan, there's no point in trying, Oh yeah!"
84. Punk comes out and says that AJ is actually pretty cool and way out of Bryan's league.
85. Punk says he digs crazy chicks, but the thing he digs more is his WWE title.
86. Hmmm. Am I the only one who would rather have AJ than the WWE title? Maybe I'm crazy.
87. Bryan says he used to respect Punk, but he has changed. He says the voiceless are that way because they have nothing smart to say.
88. Bryan and Damien Sandow should get along nicely.
89. Punk talks a lot about how he and Bryan are both different and alike at the same time.
90. HA! CM Punk calls Bryan a goat-face and the crowd starts chanting it. That will either catch on really well or die right here and now.
91. Kane comes out to break up the party.
92. Kane runs through some of his victims and what he did to them, including piledriving a priest.
93. AJ comes out and says she saw a heart when she looked into Kane's eyes.
94. The crowd is giving her the "What" treatment.
95. Punk says "You gotta love crazy chicks" for a quick pop and the crowd start chanting "crazy chicks."
96. #GoatFace is trending and you can hear Cole laughing before he has to say it.
97. JL comes on the screen and says Daniel Bryan and Kane will face CM Punk and AJ.
98. I am sure that having a 90-pound girl face Kane is sure to help Linda McMahon's Senate campaign show how WWE treats women well.
99. There should be a specific font for sarcasm.
100. This Fatal-4-Way match would be better if Khali was replaced by just about anyone.
101. I am betting WWE will make no mention of Christian's TNA appearance last night.
102. I totally believe that King just ordered a pizza and is using the Domino's pizza tracker to see where it is.
103. Seriously. Sarcasm font. Someone get on that ASAP.
104. If Christian wins and becomes both World Champion and IC Champion, I would mark out like a mad man.
105. All four men make their entrances to varied reactions. Christian got the big pop and Vickie got the most heat while introducing Dolph Ziggler.
106. Cole must have majored in mathematics in college. Somehow he figures out that Vickie has a 50 percent chance of representing the winner tonight without even using an abacus. Where's my font? Comedy rule of three dictates that I am done with that joke.
107. Khali dominates everyone with his power in the early minutes of the match.
108. Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler team up on Khali and Christian hits the frog splash, leading to all three men covering Khali and eliminating him as we head to commercial.
109. When we return we see Christian hitting strikes on both men until Ziggler hits a beautiful dropkick to take him down.
110. Damn! Ziggler took a hard hit to the head when he was thrown over the top rope. Cole mentions it and I don't see any activity outside the ring so he must be fine.
111. Ziggler runs back in and almost eliminates Christian with a roll up.
112. Christian is a pro, but it was pretty obvious how he positioned himself purposely so Swagger could attempt the Vader splash in the corner.
113. Christian ends up hitting the Killswitch on Swagger, but Ziggler runs in and pins his own partner. Awesome.
114. Christian almost wins but Ziggler is able to kick out and the two start picking up the pace.
115. A Ziggler chant breaks out to duel with the Christian chant and Ziggler takes control of the match.
116. Christian was going to go for a spear but his ankle does not let him, but he ends up hitting it after a few counters anyways.
117. Ziggler kicks out and Christian starts to set up for a finisher.
118. Ziggler ends up hitting a Fame-asser for a very near fall.
119. Reverse DDT from Christian gets him another near fall.
120. This match really got good once it became one on one. These two have some good chemistry in the ring.
121. Ziggler ends up hitting the Zig Zag after Christian leaps from the top rope and lands on his feet.
122. Yes! Ziggler wins and is the new challenger for Sheamus' title at No Way Out. It's about damn time Ziggler got another title shot.
123. The crowd pops pretty big for Ziggler's win as Vickie is ecstatic at ringside.
124. Sheamus is on the stage behind Ziggler and the two meet eye to eye when he turns around. They exchange some words and Sheamus holds his title up high.
125. Natalya is talking to Vince backstage about his match with Bret at WrestleMania and for some reason thinks he would have fond memories of it.
126. Cameron and Naomi seem to be taking over the role the Bellas were filling by saying the same things at the same time.
127. They want Clay back on Raw but when McMahon refuses, they still want to get busy with him.
128. Ha! Vince gets funky with the Funkadactyls and starts dancing.
129. So they come here to get Clay back on Raw and when they fail, they still feel like partying?
130. After the girls leave Vince turns around to see Zack Ryder with his jaw on the floor. Vince says "Woo woo woo you know it" and leaves.
131. I know a lot of people hate the hokey comedy, but I am a sucker for it sometimes because it is what I grew up on. All the sitcoms I grew up on like Saved By The Bell, Fresh Prince and Head of the Class were hokey and so was WWE at the time.
132. You read that right. Someone finally made a Head of the Class reference. Hold your applause.
133. Ryback is out to face two more jobbers who actually enter from the back, but still have no entrance music.
134. Who the hell does Rutherford PS Hayes think he is?
135. I get that his name is a combination of Rutherford B. Hayes and Michael PS Hayes, but Doc Hendrix might get pissed if he doesn't approve.
136. A loud Goldberg chant breaks out right before Ryback hits his finisher on both men at once.
137. When Cole made the impeachment joke, I realized the other guy had a name resembling a former president as well.
138. The cage lowers right before a commercial break.
139. This is interesting. When we return we see Hornswoggle and Vince watching the segment from SmackDown, which I lambasted heavily, where Horny dressed up as Jim Ross.
140. Vince puts on the hat and does his own, insulting impression of Jim Ross which has him mimic JR's Bell's palsy.
141. Just when I was loving Vince, he had to go and do something dumb like that.
142. John Cena comes in and the two talk about Cena's match with Show at No Way Out.
143. Vince asks Cena not to go try to save Kofi tonight so he can be rested and beat Big Show in the cage match.
144. Otunga comes in and tries to suck up again, and McMahon admonishes him for it.
145. I always love to see William Regal, but if the only reason we get to see him is in reference to the Kiss-My-Ass club then I guess I have to deal with it.
146. Kofi is out first, followed by Big Show after the commercial break.
147. Kofi tries to attack Show while he is getting in the ring, but Show just swats him away.
148. Show starts taking Kofi apart.
149. Kofi finally gets a reprieve when Big Show runs into a couple of boots from Kofi.
150. Kofi almost escapes, but instead he leaps backwards over Big Show and hits Trouble in Paradise for a pin attempt, which Big Show kicked out of with authority.
151. Show hits a WMD to Kofi, but he doesn't try to win afterwards. He just yells at the crowd.
152. Show finally leaves the cage and wins the match.
153. Way to bury your tag team champions, WWE.
154. Sin Cara is out next. Justin Roberts must have introduced Curt Hawkins during the break because he says "And his opponent" before he says Cara's name.
155. Cara is bringing it to Hawkins, but Hawkins pulls him outside the ring with authority to get the advantage.
156. Can WWE stop using that stupid yellow light already? I can't stand it.
157. I just heard some guy scream at the top of his lungs in a very annoying voice, "We want Mysterio back right now!"
158. That is why moderation is always the best practice when drinking in public.
159. Sin Cara gets the win after yet another squash match. Get this man a feud or let him go back to Mexico where he will be used properly. He has the potential to be awesome in WWE as long as he doesn't botch too much during longer matches.
160. The graphic behind the countdown clock to Vince McMahon's decision makes JL look like a five-year-old who is about to throw a tantrum.
161. Daniel Bryan and Vince have a little exchange backstage which ends in Vince saying "I don't think I have ever finished anything in 18 seconds." It was basically a sex joke without being a sex joke. Well played, Vince, well played.
162. Ziggler shows us a recap of the very first Raw and it makes me remember how amazing Bobby Heenan really was when he was in front of a camera.
163. Heath Slater is out to face a former WWE main eventer and he delivers another awkward promo which wouldn't get a response from a critic.
164. Slater says it's Slater time and Vader;s music hits to a decent response.
165. Vader encourages a the chants from the crowd.
166. Hahaha. Lawler says Vader looks like John Dvorak. I can see it.
167. Cole shares what sounds like a true story about being ribbed when Vince had him try on what must have been a very stinky Vader mask.
168. Vader owns Slater for nearly the whole match, with Slater occasionally getting in some offense.
169. The crowd wants the Vader-bomb, which Vader is happy to give them to get himself an easy win over Heath Slater.
170. Vader was an awesome performer at his best and his feud with Sting is one of my favorites from the days I first watched WCW,
171. AJ is freaking out backstage until Punk talks her down, She gives him a kiss on the cheek as she walks away.
172. These games she is playing are starting to seem more manipulative than psychotic. I wonder if she will be revealed as some master man-ipulator like Eve was a couple months ago before she settled into the role of being JL's eye-candy.
173. Kane is out first for the main event tag team match.
174. Punk and Kane start things off and Kane eventually gives Punk a big boot before tagging in Bryan.
175. Punk starts to come back as he hits the high knee on Bryan in the corner.
176. Punk misses the Macho Man elbow and Kane tags in.
177. He goes to tag AJ and then realizes his partner is a small woman.
178. Punk gets pushed back into AJ and the ref says it was a tag.
179. Even Cole says this is a bad call by the ref.
180. AJ smiles at Kane and starts skipping around him like a little girl.
181. She then jumps up onto him and starts making out with him, which Kane seems to have mixed feelings about.
182. After she gets off of him, Kane tags in Bryan, who chases AJ into the corner only to run into Punk's elbow.
183. Punk hits the Macho Man elbow to Bryan for the win. Cole and Lawler seem a little surprised that the match is over.
184. AJ sits in the center of the ring after the match with a huge smile on her face.
185. Kane is dumbfounded as he stands on the stage.
186. I am kind of speechless too. I am not sure what to think of what just went down.
187. What I do know is that AJ is officially WWE's most interesting and polarizing Diva.
188. Vince McMahon is out with plenty of security after the commercial.
189. He brings out Johnny Ace sans scooter.
190. JL says he doesn't appreciate what Vince did to the scooter and Vince gives a half-hearted apology.
191. Vince says the security in the ring is not for his protection, they are there to drag someone out of the arena after being fired.
192. JL pleads his case for why he should not be fired.
193. Vince was about to do it when Big Show's music hit.
194. Big Show stands up for Johnny and he talks about how he was never allowed to do what he wanted, but now that he has a new contract, he can do whatever he wants.
195. John Cena's music plays and he comes out to a nice pop. The crowd was also chanting his name for a bit before he came out.
196. Cena does his usual thing and makes a fat joke about Show.
197. He also calls JL a chain-smoking cripple. I wonder if Johnny really smokes a lot and that is a rib on him.
198. Did the highest-paid WWE superstar just call someone else a sellout?
199. Vince says he will be at ringside at No Way Out.
200. If Big Show loses, JL will be fired, but before he can actually finish saying it Big Show grabs John Cena by the throat.
201. Cena ends up ducking a WMD and it hits Vince.
202. JL is freaking out at Big Show while he leaves the ring.
203. Cena is trying to get help for Vinnie Mac while Show heads to the back.
204. The show ends with the image of Vince laid out at the hands of Big Show.
205. This will no doubt have to be addressed next week.
206. I really enjoyed about 65 percent of Raw, thought 25 percent was OK and hated 10 percent of it.
207. Ziggler becoming the new top contender for the World Title was my favorite moment of the evening. Seeing as he is a replacement for Del Rio, I doubt he will win the title, but if he does, I will be very excited.
208. No Way Out could be really good or a huge flop depending on how WWE advances with the major storylines.

Thanks for reading and feel free to share your thoughts and additions to the list below.