Preakness 2012 Horses: Ranking Best Names in the Field

If you're like me—or all of the celebrities they will inevitably interview before the race—then you will pick the winner of the Preakness simply by what name you like best.

And honestly, I can't really think of a better strategy.

Sure, you could do something crazy like research and scout the horses, or something boring like pick Bodemeister or I'll Have Another, but going with the coolest or most hilarious name seems like the right way to go.

So, here's a look at the best names in the field at Pimlico this year.

1. Teeth of the Dog

The "teeth" part gives off a connotation of a fierce, dangerous animal. I'm not sure why, it just does. But then you see, oh, "it's just teeth of the dog" and you immediately get visions of cuteness.

It's the perfect combo of fierce and cute. 

2. I'll Have Another

Just so you can say, "Bartender, I'll Have Another!"

3. Zetterholm

Zetterholm sounds like some futuristic German weapon that shoots lasers. And if you don't think a futuristic German weapon that shoots lasers is a cool name for a horse, then you're crazy.

4. Daddy Nose Best

First of all, daddy most certainly knows best, so this horse is factually correct.

Second-of-ly, substituting a different word that sounds the same as the original word is smart and cre-eight-ive. Alright, that's not the same.

It's still a cool name.

5. Optimizer

Maybe it's just me, but "optimizer" is a pretty cool word. "Optimize" is alright on its own, but turning it into "optimizer" is just plain smart.

6. Cozzetti

Um, it sounds like confetti. What's better than confetti? Well, confetti cake is better than confetti, but not much else. He may be too far down on my list. 

7. Tiger Walk

It's alright, and it has potential, but I just don't really get it. Does it come from a tiger taking a walk, or what?

8. Creative Cause

Creative cause...what? Creative cause what? CREATIVE BECAUSE WHAT?

Oh, it's not that kind of cause. Well, he still gets docked points for confusing me. 

9. Bodemeister

The best horse in the field finds himself fairly low on the name power rankings. This could be bad for his chances at Pimlico.

Sorry, that was too close to analysis. 

Anyways, I'm just not a huge fan of the name. I have a feeling it's one people will either love or hate. No in between.

10. Went the Day Well

This just sounds way too proper to me. When I say it, I imagine someone with an overly-thick British accent saying it, and I just don't like that. 

11. Pretension

Pretension reminds me of pretentious people, and I do not like pretentious. Nuh uh. Not one bit. I think it's safe to say no one does.

Sorry, pretentious horse (OK, it is kind of funny to imagine a pretentious horse), but you aren't winning the Preakness. 

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