Josh Beckett: Red Sox Pitcher Slowly Melting Down into Beautiful Mess

The slow and awful meltdown of Red Sox pitcher Josh Beckett is so beautiful and poignant, I can't look away. It's even better if you watch with a bucket of chicken and a six pack of beer. 

The smoldering crater and billowing smoke from the Boston area is due in part to the horrible start the Red Sox have produced and the latest start by Josh Beckett that garnered a chorus of boos from the Sox faithful. 

On Thursday night, Beckett gave his best impression of a starting pitcher, and it was an impersonation deserving of work in downtown Las Vegas, far from the glitz of the strip. 

How bad is bad? 

He only pitched two innings and change but really left his mark, so there is that. Seven hits and seven earned runs off two home runs were enough to get him a seat on the bench, but not before he was booed by thousands. 

That's not the end of this story, because that's far too between the lines for me. 

The real story is what happened when he hit the press conference and was forced to answer questions on his previous skipped start, and what he did on a day off due to injury, via ESPN. 

"

Question (paraphrased): Did the golf business have any impact on how you pitched?

Answer: None. None.

Question: Anything to say about the golf business?

Answer: No. I spend my off days the way I want to spend them.

Question: Any regrets?

Answer: My off day is my off day.

Question: Given that you were skipped a start with what was described as a tight lat muscle, do people have the right to question why you were golfing?

Answer: Not on my off day.

Question: Do you understand the perception that leaves when the team is playing as poorly as it is?

Answer: We get 18 off days a year. I think we deserve a little time to ourselves.

"

It's chicken and beer all over again. I wish I could hop in a DeLorean and go back in time, to let Beckett know how horribly he came off right there. 

Forget the fact that he's missing every last bit of reality when he states he gets 18 days off. Some would argue that he gets to play baseball for a living and that's good for a day off everyday, but that's a five-year-old's debate. 

He does get the months in the offseason to kick his feet up—a vacation we all would be so lucky to have. 

The fact that he was golfing isn't the problem though. Pitchers have so much downtime that they would be driven to Metta World Peace insanity if they didn't let loose. 

The fact that he golfed a day after he was scratched for being injured is the big issue. But that's not why he gets booed either. 

We have come to the reason for all of this, and it's really quite simple. 

Josh Beckett blows, the Red Sox are awful and this is coming off a beer and chicken scandal that was hilarious to every last person not claiming to be a Sox fan. 

Beckett and his counterparts are free to carouse and golf all they want. Hell, hit the strip club while you are at it—just don't suck. 

Sports fans are a forgiving bunch, but they don't look kindly on a team and player underperforming when obvious issues remain in the background. 

My advice is simple, stay clear of the links until you start getting batters out. 

That's not how this team rolls though. So I will head out to KFC and swing by Popeyes before getting a keg of my favorite beer. 

It's going to be a long season, and I want to enjoy every last bit of it. 

Follow me on Twitter and we can fight about it. 

Follow @gabezal