The Doctor's WWE SmackDown Recap: The 122 Things We Learned, Loved and Hated

I truly appreciate my loyal readers but for those of you who are new, each week I recap SmackDown with a long list.

The entries are made up of equal parts humor, recap, play-by-play, revelations, speculations, questions, answers and anything else I notice during the show. I sometimes comment on commercials too just because I get bored during them.

I have two games each week as well. The first game is trying to correctly predict the length of the next Divas match to the second. The other game is coming up with new and humorous nicknames for David Otunga revolving around a specific part of his character or attire from that week.

This game has produced such wonderful nicknames as the Macchiato Mauler, The Sweater-vest Savior, The Bow-tie Brawler, The Caffeinated Crippler and my personal favorite, the Folger's Soldier.

I try and interject some fun into these lists, so I hope you have fun reading this week's list of the 122 things we learned, loved and hated from the show.

1. We open with a graphic paying respect to Chief Jay Strongbow. Rest in Peace.
2. David Otunga's music hits and he comes out with his cape and coffee.
3. Do they actually sell that thing somewhere or did they just cut the sleeves off a regular coat?
4. Otunga brings out the new GM of both shows, John Laurinaitis.
5. JL comes out to some pretty funny music. It sounds very distinguished and inspirational.
6. Whoa. Where did those guys get the ref shirts? I didn't know they sold those.
7. Johnny Ace talks about bringing some creative leadership to SmackDown.
8. He says hi to Booker. I wonder if Booker will be wrestling since he went against JL at WrestleMania.
9. Laurinaitis moves on to Teddy Long, who he invites to the ring.
10. Long comes out to the ring and a Teddy chant can be heard in the crowd.
11. Teddy says that not having a job gives him the freedom to tell Johnny to go to Hell.
12. WWE must be editing out something from the crowd right now because it sounds way too quiet as Teddy talks.
13. Teddy says he can't just walk away from SmackDown without thanking the WWE fans, sorry, Universe.
14. The crowd gives Teddy a "Holla Holla Holla."
15. JL cuts Teddy's music and says he would like to offer Teddy a job, which he is promptly told to "Shove it."
16. Laurinaitis says something about Teddy's grandchildren before letting Otunga talk.
17. Apparently Teddy has a college fund set up for his grandchildren, which is controlled by the SmackDown GM.
18. I cannot help but laugh at Johnny Ace when he is pretending to act sincere. His delivery is hilarious.
19. He wants Teddy to say he is better than Teddy to save his job and the college funds.
20. You don't mess with a man's grand kids, you feel me playa?
21. Teddy says Johnny is better than him before JL sends him to the back to get ready to go to work on some unspecified tasks.
22. JL puts Truth in a handicap match against Otunga and Mark Henry, who makes his way out right away.
23. Maybe little Jimmy will give Truth the assist.
24. Michael Cole actually admits that this might be an abuse of power, but he justifies by claiming it was the fans want.
25. No Cole, we want many things, but this match is not on the top of the list.
26. So it's the Built Barrista and The World's Strongest Man vs Little Jimmy's legal guardian as the first match of the night.
27. Otunga tells Henry that he will start the match and he and Truth trade strikes right after the bell.
28. Truth does some of his signature moves to get the advantage.
29. Otunga kicks out of Truth's finishing moves, which the announcers totally gloss over.
30. Abraham Washington is shown watching backstage.
31. I still have fond memories of his ECW talk show.
32. Fond means terrible, right?
33. Henry gets the win with the World's Strongest Slam.
34. Nice, Henry plays the heel role up well by not even wanting to interact with Otunga following the match.
35. Kane's music hits during their celebration and he appears on the ramp.
36. Seriously, does he operate an arc-welder part-time?
37. During commercial we see that SmackDown will be a blast from the past next week. Judging by the heavy inclusion of Roddy Piper in the ads I am guessing he will be there.
38. Kane is in the ring to face Orton next. I wonder why they had him enter right after the handicap match. It just seemed poorly timed.
39. Orton comes out of the gate with strikes, but Kane gets the better of him and sends him outside the ring.
40. The match at WrestleMania between these guys should have been no disqualification, not this match.
41. Orton almost knocks Kane off the stage at one point, but Kane is able to avoid disaster and ends up hitting a huge DDT on Orton.
42. That does not look like it would be pleasant for either of them to go through. That ramp is not padded like the ringside area so it had to sting that much more.
43. After commercial we see Kane is still in control as he has Orton down in the ring.
44. Booker uses the word "stinger" to describe how Orton may have hurt himself during the DDT. You don't hear that term too often on TV.
45. Orton fails to get Kane down with two poorly executed clotheslines but he gets him down with a beautiful dropkick.
46. Honestly, am I the only one who thinks Orton's biggest weakness is the way he does a clothesline? It just looks strange every time, I don't know why.
47. Kane starts grabbing chairs, and this is about to turn dark.
48. Orton grabs a chair and starts hitting Kane with it until he puts it down so he can drop Kane's head onto it with his rope-hung DDT.
49. Orton goes for the cover, but can't get the win.
50. Orton looks like he may have hit the chair on the way down in a bad way. The ref looked concerned when Orton grabbed his head right away.
51. Kane ends up hitting Orton with a few chair shots for a near fall of his own.
52. Kane sets up for the choke slam, but Orton slips out and hits the RKO for the pin and the win.
53. Another week, another pretty girl in the crowd being given a close up on WWE TV. This has become a thing lately. Every show there is one specific close up of a good-looking woman celebrating or dancing after a match. Watch for it.
54. How does Josh Mathews know that Lesnar attacking Cena is the "most socially interactive occurrence in history?" Is there a way to measure that?
55. If that is actually true, then wrestling must be way more popular than people think, otherwise it is something WWE can just say without having to back up.
56. Who is Barry Stevens, and why does he get mic time, just so the people backstage can laugh at him?
57. Hey! It's Skip Sheffield.
58. Well, at least they acknowledge that Ryback is actually Skip, otherwise it would have been kind of insulting for them to assume we wouldn't recognize him.
59. Ryback has been getting his singlets done by the same guy as RVD by the looks of it. Sort of an air-brush look to it.
60. Ryback gets the wins with an interesting looking running slam-type move.
61. What's the point of showing the superstars in the back laughing at Barry Stevens?
62. If anything they should have been shown acting scared of Ryback's power.
63. It looks like Ryback will not be doing his old "Yip yip yip" stuff for the crowds anymore.
64. Cole saying Stevens was trained by Booker and Booker denying it was kind of funny.
65. If Ryback proves he can actually wrestle, he could really be a force in WWE. He has the right build and gimmick to be a monster heel or ruthless babyface.
66. If someone was actually at the show on Tuesday, please let us know what the reaction for Ryback was really like. You can't trust a pre-taped show with the canned reactions they can edit in.
67. Remember how funny it was when William Regal was so confused by Skip Sheffeild during NXT? Remember when NXT was a cool idea and actually had a winner? Good times.
68. Daniel Bryan comes out to what sounds like heat, but looks like cheers. See how they do that? Sneaky bastards.
69. A "Yes" chant starts.
70. Bryan talks about how everything has started to go wrong and AJ tells him he is a great wrestler and person.
71. Another "Yes" chant breaks out and AJ reminds him of all the YES signs at Raw and WrestleMania.
72. A Daniel Bryan chant starts up. Funny, I don't remember him turning face.
73. Bryan talks about he is not buying the support the audience is suddenly showing him.
74. He says their chants are more mocking than supportive and some people actually chant "Yes" to that.
75. Bryan says it was AJ who cost him the World Title at WrestleMania.
76. Holy Crap! That is some serious emoting from Daniel Bryan right there.
77. That was awesome. Best acting on WWE TV in quite some time. His face got so red I couldn't help but laugh a little.
78. Bryan says he won't let AJ ruin his life ever again and he dumps her.
79. If AJ is dead weight then she is the lightest dead weight ever.
80. Bryan screams at her to get out of the ring and she is crying as he turns his back to her.
81. The tiniest couple in WWE history just broke up. Is that cute or sad? Ladies?
82. A WrestleMania 29 commercial starts airing. So the road to WrestleMania apparently starts right after the last WrestleMania now, instead of the Royal Rumble.
83. Big Show is out after the break and he lets some kids at ring-side touch his IC title.
84. Heath Slater gets a jobber's entrance, so he must be jobbing tonight.
85. Michael Cole says Show is now one of five men to hold all the active titles in WWE history.
86. That fact doesn't sound right. I think it has to be more than five.
87. Let's see, Bret Hart held the IC, WCW US, WCW World, WWE and Tag titles. So has Ric Flair, if you count the WCW US Title instead of the WWE US Title. Who else?
88. Cody Rhodes is on commentary for the match.
89. Big Show stole Monty Brown's finisher! Call the Cops!
90. Big Show wins with a choke slam and after the match he tries to bait Rhodes into coming into the ring.
91. Hey! Cody has a new shirt! I was just talking about how it's odd that he did not have a shirt last week.
92. I wonder if Big Show will keep the white title or if he will eventually make it black or a different color. He should make it camo to match his singlet.
93. No wait. That would look terrible. Never mind.
94. A replay of Jericho assaulting CM Punk with alcohol on Monday is shown.
95. That segment would have been so much more powerful had the bottle not broken too early. It was so noticeable that it took me out of the moment.
96. The Bellas are shown with Johnny Ace backstage when Sheamus walks in.
97. JL talks about how Sheamus is giving people cheap shots lately.
98. He's not wrong.
99. Sheamus promises to only start kicking the people who really deserve it.
100. The next match is Beth Phoenix vs. Nikki Bella. Let's see what the match time is and if anyone predicted it accurately.
101. Can I give the person who designed Nikki's ring gear a trophy?
102. Beth starts beating Nikki down right away after the bell.
103. Nikki gets the win after hitting literally one offensive move the whole match.
104. Bell-to-bell match time of 1:01. Shout-out to Dylan Bolger and Jermaine Avridmides, who were only one second off from the exact time. Leave your predictions for Raw's Divas match below.
105. Very nice. WWE pays tribute to Chief Jay Strongbow during the show.
106. An interesting video package plays for Damien Sandow.
107. I know it's a heel video, but I find myself agreeing with a few things he said.
108. Alberto Del Rio is out next for his match before we go to commercial.
109. Both men get in some decent offense before Del Rio starts working over Sheamus' arm.
110. Del Rio looks pretty good for this being his first match back after an injury.
111. Both men almost hit their finishers right before a commercial airs.
112. After the commercial, Sheamus is in control.
113. The crowd can count to 10 faster than the ref can count to five.
114. Del Rio always hits a great Enzuigiri kick.
115. Del Rio comes back with some nice moves which put some damage on Sheamus' arm.
116. I wonder if 100 years from now things will be so digital that there will be a HUD on real wrestling shows and not just video games.
117. Sheamus gets DQ'd after being caught with a chair Del Rio was going to use.
118. This reminds me of when Eddie Guerrero used to set people up to get disqualified by hitting the ground with a chair, tossing it to the opponent and then lay down before the ref turned around.
119. Sheamus give the ref a Brogue Kick after the ref takes the chair away from him.
120. Booker says he will probably get fined, which I think they claim he did.
121. The show ends with Alberto celebrating a cheap win.
122. Decent show, nothing special though. Somewhat boring if I am being honest. I didn't do a nickname game tonight, but Raw will definitely have one.

Thanks for reading and feel free to share your thoughts and additions to the list below. Also, please take a moment and make your prediction for the length of the next Divas match.