Khloe and Lamar vs. Basketball Wives: Season-Premiere Showdown

Arrested Development, Twin Peaks, Freaks and Geeks—three shows awash in critical acclaim and cult status. IMDB rankings? Through the roof. Fan devotion? Fervent. Emmy nominations? Oh yeah. Future movie stars among the casts? Yup. 

Yet all three also have something in common: They either lasted shorter or just as long as VH1's Basketball Wives, a show that publicizes the peccadilloes of Michael Olowankandi's ex-girlfriend. A show where we're given an HD look into the life of Eric Williams' (8.6 PPG) former wife amid others. A show where this happened. 

Is this an indictment on our society? Only if you really let it bother you. It's life, and all the holier-than-thou words that come through my keyboard won't undo the fact I DVR Hardcore Pawn. We're all a little implicit. 

Basketball Wives, and its E! Cousin, Khloe and Lamar both kicked off new seasons this week. Basketball Wives is on season No. 4; the Kardashian offshoot is beginning its sophomore campaign. 

Both have given us an hour of of programming so far—so let's break down which one is better, using B/R Swagger's Proven Formula—a total, 100 percent scientific process—let's grade the baller-themed reality shows. 

Star Power...Edge: Khloe and Lamar

You can't out Kardashian the Kardashian's. Not when it comes to reality shows, anyway.

Sure, Khloe isn't Kim on ratings and pageview-boosting scales, but she's still a household name thanks to the E! network publicizing every facet of this family's life. So she's further up on the celebrity scale than, say, Shaunie O'Neal. 

If Khloe walks down the street, my mom knows who she is. My mom doesn't watch E!. But toss aside the Kardashian brand (Kim and company make cameos with things like—seriously—medical advice on pregnancy), and you're still awash in names that actually resonate and people who you would actually recognize on the street.  

Lamar's an NBA Champion. After the season premiere, we met Adrian Wilson, the boyfriend of Khloe's bestie. He's a three-time All-Pro. Star power. 

Drama...Edge: Basketball Wives

Fast-forward to the three-minute mark if you haven't seen this. It's from the Season 3 finale of Basketball Wives, and it's way more intense and rude and real than anything in the Kardashian World (72-day marriages notwithstanding). 

Yeah, that's Eric Williams (8.6 PPG career) tossing a drink...in a woman's face. It's a flashback to the season 4 premier, because producers aren't stupid, and they're going to replay that bit of realty TV gold as many times as possible. 

As for the rest of show? It's just more intense, even if it's drummed-up. Sure, Rob and Lamar had some issues in the Khloe and Lamar season premiere, but it's not nearly as, well...this. Semi-trucks backing up don't have as many beeps as Basketball Wives. (Language, ladies.)

Storyline...Edge: Khloe and Lamar

This is a rare occurrence where being an actual sports fan comes into play. Really, no joke. As an active NBA player, Lamar Odom on the show this season will give us a glimpse of what it's like to be locked-out, and what it's like to be traded. 

(So far, we've gotten a taste of the boredom he experienced. His coping mechanisms: video games and candy, because you can't think Lamar Odom without thinking candy...more on that later.)

Usually, this type of stuff is done behind closed doors, and we can only guess what being traded is like—especially from the Lakers—for a veteran player. Not here, though. As a sports fan, that's a neat piece of exclusive access. Meanwhile, over on Basketball Wives, we're re-hearing the story of how Richard Jefferson alter-ditched his fiancee. 

Old news. Sorry. Give me the Los Angeles to Dallas scoop, please. 

Humor...Edge: Khloe and Lamar

Anybody who's seen five minutes of Keeping Up with the Kardashian's knows Khloe's the funnest member of this tightly wound, diva-moment-prone family. And add in Lamar, and it's a match that can actually make this show enjoyable to watch at times. 

Reality shows can't just be fighting and drama all the time—not the really good ones, anyway. Let's use Real World as an example. That show is a reality pioneer because it contained drama and fighting, as well as laughs. 

That's what Khloe and Lamar has, and Odom doesn't disappoint. He eats candy in bed. He wakes his wife up...and asks if she wants to watch him play video games. He pokes fun at her for calling a photo shoot work. He plays more video games, talking about "fighting for your country" as he plays a first-person shooter on Xbox. 

Frankly, it's a lot more palatable than crocodile tears from Kim. Smiles go a long way. Meanwhile, on Basketball Wives: pensive music, tears, bleeps. (Olowankandi's ex thought it would be a good idea to get a bunch of enemies in a room together, and it's going exactly how you'd expect it to.)

Overall Watchability...Edge: Khloe and Lamar

It's a virtual sweep: Khloe and Lamar for the win. Reality shows are supposed to be fun, and that's what this couple provides. It actually makes the Kardashian name somewhat palatable again after the Humphries debacle. 

Well, actually...on second-thought...

Whatever. The point is, this show can make you crack a smile, while still providing enough drama to satisfy the inner paparazzi that lives in all of us. 

But regardless if you agree or not, one thing isn't debatable: Neither of these shows are going anywhere. 

See you next season when we do this exact same thing again.