8 Dumbest Quotes from MLB Offseason

The MLB offseason can get pretty boring for its fans sometimes. Between rumors that couldn't be further from the truth, to stories about how Kansas City Royals pitcher Jose Mijares has changed his delivery, things can get pretty redundant. That's where the media tries to stir the pot a bit.

Some MLB personalities can get baited into saying something that just makes you go, "That is the most asinine thing I've ever heard." The result of this is baseball somehow getting put on the front burner. (Oddly enough, it's also the result of ESPN completely ignoring the NHL All-Star game as well.)

Here are some of the dumbest quotes we've heard this offseason.

Brian Cashman Compares Albert Pujols' Swing to Jesus Montero

The Winter Meetings are usually ripe with general managers spewing out hot garbage about how the guy they are shopping could be the best hitter in baseball in a couple years. This year was no exception.

The New York Yankees were trying to dangle their best prospect, Jesus Montero, in front of a multitude of teams this offseason.

When Yankees general manager Brian Cashman found out that Albert Pujols had signed a 10-year, $254 million deal with the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. He had this to say to the New York Times: "I don't know about [Pujols] personally, but I see what he does with that bat and it's Montero-like."

Yes, a 21-year-old prospect has the same swing already as the best hitter in the game. That works. Actually, it did work because the Seattle Mariners were listening and decided to give up one of the best one-two starting pitching combinations in all of baseball to get him. (Montero was traded for Michael Pineda on January 14.)

Scott Boras Projects Prince Fielder's Prime Past Age 36

Another usual gold mine for stupid quotes are agents. Scott Boras is no exception.

Baseball's most popular agent has represented several big names over that past couple of seasons. This year, he represented Prince Fielder and eventually got him his massive contract with the Detroit Tigers.

However, things weren't looking so cozy for Fielder a couple weeks ago when it seemed possible that he would have to settle for a one-year deal and go out the next offseason to get his mega-deal. That's when Boras turned on the charm.

"

When you’re talking about premium years by management, you think ‘well premium years are usually this 27-36.’ But when you’ve got a guy who has performed from 22 to 26 over that five-year period, he has more home runs in that five years than Albert Pujols.

"

He doesn't actually say that he thinks that he'll project past 36, but the point is that he thinks that Fielder will keep his level of production up to age 36. With the way Prince swings the bat and his body, that may be a pipe dream to think he will continue his current production for up to and beyond 36.

Terry Ryan Claims There Was Never a Prince Fielder Name on the Free-Agent Market

It may not have been a quote that was flashed all over ESPN, but up here in cold, tiny Minnesota, this was a comment that grabbed my attention.

Minnesota Twins general manager Terry Ryan was asked by Minneapolis Star-Tribune reporter Joe Christiansen about the Tigers signing of Prince Fielder.

At first, Ryan didn't comment on the Fielder signing because it wasn't official. However, when the subject of the Twins' payroll dropping from $113 million to $98 million over the offseason came up, Ryan denied that money was a factor when going after free agents.

"

I'm not quite sure that Minnesota's going to make a signing that's going to combat Prince Fielder. There isn't that type of name out there right now.

"

Well, somebody must have forgot to tell Ryan there was a Prince Fielder name out there. It was...Prince Fielder.

While Ryan also claimed that they were still trying to upgrade the roster, it's clear that the only signings they'll attempt to make are ones for bargain-basement prices like Adam Everett, Mike Lamb and Tony Batista.

Bobby Valentine Wages War Against the New York Yankees

Bobby Valentine was asked about the New York Yankees during the Winter Meetings by a throng of East Coast reporters. The result was something that lit a fire under the Yankees and Red Sox rivalry.

"I hate the Yankees," Valentine said while surrounded by a herd of media members at the Winter Meetings. "I don't want to waste this valuable time talking about the Yankees. This is too valuable."

This jacked up everyone surrounding the rivalry. John Kruk even downed an entire pallet of Cheez-Its after hearing the news.

However, Valentine wasn't done with berating the Yankees' moves, as he questioned Brian Cashman going out and getting one of the best young pitchers in baseball from the Seattle Mariners.

"Pineda, when I saw him the first half, he looked unhittable. Second half, he looked OK," said Valentine. "[The Mariners] saw a lot of him and they traded him.

Simply put, Valentine is stirring the pot in Boston. You have to wonder if the Yankees will use this as bulletin board material and if this will come back to bite the Red Sox in 2012.

Jake Peavy Claims Ozzie Guillen Quit on the Chicago White sox

As a Twins fan over the past couple of seasons, I don't think I've ever seen anybody with more energy than former Chicago White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen.

After constant defeats at the Metrodome and Target Field, Ozzie always seemed to have a tirade that would confirm that, at times, professional wrestlers had more composure than he did.

So when Jake Peavy claims that Guillen quit on the White Sox at the end of the 2011 season, I'm not sure I buy that. When Peavy was asked about Guillen during an interview on WSCR-AM 670 in Chicago, he had this to say about his former manager.

"

At the end of the day, Ozzie didn’t finish the season with us the last few games. So I don’t know who quit on who. But it is what it is and we’re all looking forward to 2012.

"

Interestingly enough, Guillen and Peavy didn't see eye-to-eye toward the end of the season when Peavy was shut down because he was struggling to recover from shoulder surgery that ended his 2010 season.

The comments by Peavy were shot down by everybody in the organization, with Guillen himself saying he would "Kill people's feelings" on his Twitter account.

Odds are we won't know what really went on in that Chicago locker room, but I bet a lot of the same antics will be making their way to the Miami Marlins' clubhouse this offseason.

Scott Boras Calls January Lifeboat to Avoid a Titanic-Like Season

Like I had mentioned previously in this article, it seems like when January hits and your top clients are still unsigned, some pretty crazy stuff flies out of your mouth.

Scott Boras was no exception when he was asked during a January 5 interview about Prince Fielder remaining unsigned.

"The January free-agent lifeboat is a welcome addition to prevent next season's Titanic."

The only question I have is, can that lifeboat support Fielder's 275-pound frame? That alone makes it asinine, but to compare something that was as traumatic as the Titanic sinking might have been a bit overboard (no pun intended...).

Manny Ramirez: "I'll Be a Role Model"

Manny Ramirez had a recent interview with ESPN's Pedro Gomez that if a team decided to take a chance on him in 2012, he would be "a role model."

"

I want to show people that Manny can change, that he can do the right thing, And to show people that I still can play. I don't want to leave the game like I did. I also want to show my kids that if you make a mistake, don't quit. Just go back and fix it. And if you're going to leave, leave the right way.

"

Funny, since Manny was saying almost the exact same thing before last year when the Tampa Bay Rays took a chance on him.

The result was the Rays kicking themselves after Ramirez bolted after five games due to another failed drug test. I guess Ramirez left the team in the "right way" after that one, and now he wants to make amends for it because he's done it everywhere else he's been...like Boston and Los Angeles.

Miguel Cabrera Calls Third Base His Natural Position

The addition of Prince Fielder to the Tigers' lineup creates many dilemmas for the AL Central favorite's lineup. The biggest current concern is, where will Miguel Cabrera play if the Tigers want Fielder to be the team's first baseman? The answer is third base.

"It was something we were talking [about at the Tigers'] fan fest [last week]. Return to third base, that is my natural position," Cabrera said. 

I'm sure what Cabrera means is that he played third base coming up in the Florida Marlins' system in the early 2000s, but I don't believe he can play third base now.

Cabrera weighed in at 180 pounds during his rookie season in Florida, but he has since balooned to 245 pounds with the Tigers. One would have to seriously question what kind of range Cabrera has at third, and whether the Tigers would be solid defensively with him there.

Remember, upon Cabrera's arrival in 2008, it took just 14 games for the Tigers to decide that third base wasn't the best position for him. One might believe that Cabrera's best move would be to left field, but it remains to be seen how long of a leash the Tigers will give him defensively over at third.