WWE Royal Rumble 2012: A Fantasy Booking

With the Royal Rumble around the corner and the WWE ramping up to the big event, everybody's wondering who will be in and who will be out (or was that Project Runway?)

This week, Mick Foley was denied an entrant's position on RAW. The WWE announced Evan Bourne was suspended. Several big-name grapplers are out with injuries.

There are a bunch of factors that go into booking the big one.

And yet, looking at the rosters, they could have filled a 40-man Rumble with wrestlers to spare, especially with only two or three other matches booked and double-duty not ruled out for those men who are competing earlier in the night. Even with outside talent ruled out.

Still, booking a 30-man Rumble match is a challenge. One that I have accepted here.

What this is: A fantasy booking of this year's Royal Rumble, if I were forced to put together a list today.

What this is not: A prediction, what I think should happen, or what I want to happen.

The Rules:

1) Anything released by WWE officially or in kayfabe is adhered to. Bourne is suspended. Foley is out. No outside talent. Previously confirmed entrants are locked in.

2) Injured wrestlers who could feasibly return in time are available. If they can't go, then you would just replace them the night of. But you book optimistically.

The Card Results

The Run-Up:

Evan Bourne is out.

Kofi is going solo again.

No titles change hands.

Beth Phoenix is never seen.

Drew McIntyre is fired.

Hornswoggle is ridiculous.

Michael Cole is a pain.

Announce team:

Booker T, Josh Mathews and Jerry Lawler with Matt Striker as interviewer. Lillian Garcia as ring announcer.

The Card:

10-Woman Diva Rumble: Tamina def. Eve, Kharma, AJ, Layla El, Natalya, Kaitlyn, Brie Bella, Kelly Kelly and Alicia Fox

As I described in another article, I think there should be a Diva Rumble match. In brief, the 10 entrants compete for a total of 10 minutes, entering every 60 seconds. Kelly Kelly and Alicia Fox begin the match, there is some Bella nonsense, Natalya takes over, Layla is the first big surprise and then AJ returns from her injury.

Kharma then comes out and wrecks house, but Tamina, Eve, and AJ manage to eliminate her, with AJ actually putting her over the rope. Tamina then takes over from there.

John Cena vs. Kane: Double Count-Out

In this match, Cena comes out to face Kane. However, after the bell rings, Cena slides under the bottom rope and out of the ring, staring at Kane. He shakes his head, pulling some sort of Ghandi routine.

He won't give into the hate; this match offers him nothing. He throws up his hands and begins to walk up the ramp. As the ref counts eight, Kane exits the ring and chases after Cena. They're both counted out but have a huge brawl backstage that gets out of camera range as we go to break.

Daniel Bryan vs. Big Show vs. Mark Henry for the World Heavyweight Title: Big Show pins Mark Henry

This match goes on much as you would expect. Henry goes after Bryan at first, crushing him. Big Show takes the fight to Henry, and the two trade pinning attempts for a while, as Bryan stays out of their way, only re-entering to break up pins.

Henry is down for the count, and Bryan mixes it up with Show for a while, locking him in a couple submission maneuvers, the last of which is broken by a crawling Henry. The match continues, and Show and Bryan trade pinning and submission opportunities on Henry.

Suddenly, Kharma and AJ spill out onto the ramp. Kharma is destroying AJ for eliminating her and taking her title shot after she'd eliminated half the field. Bryan moves to the ropes, looks back at Show, who is pinning Henry, then commits to going to his girlfriend's aid.

Show wins, then hurries out after Bryan to check on AJ. Kharma leaves, and Bryan gives him a slightly less-severe tongue thrashing for being selfish and greedy. He leads AJ to the back, and Show rubs his head, unsure how to feel.

CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler for the WWE Title with Special Guest Referee John Laurinaitis, Executive Vice President of Talent Relations, Interim and Soon to be Permanent General Manager of RAW (I had to do it): Dolph Ziggler pins CM Punk

CM Punk and Dolph Ziggler put on a clinic, and Mr. Excitement, Johnny Ace tries multiple times to cheat Punk, with quick counts and slow counts, but for the most part it doesn't make a difference. Ziggler does a great job at keeping up with Punk, but Johnny ignores Ziggler tapping to the Anaconda Vice, and pulls his leg under the rope, telling Punk to break the hold.

Punk grabs Johnny, but Ziggler hits the Zig-Zag, and in a quick count which Punk gets the shoulder up (shades of Punk/Swagger), Johnny counts three and has them ring the bell. Punk chases Laurinaitis out of the ring, and Ziggler celebrates like there's no tomorrow. Swagger and Vickie Guerrero come out, of course, but Ziggler gives them a bit of the cold shoulder, looking and acting a lot like Jericho when he wakes up or gets a muffin, celebrating with the crowd and ignoring his stable.

No. 1: Alberto Del Rio

Pre-Rumble, Del Rio cuts one last promo about how he won last year and will win again this year, because it's his destiny, and destiny is enduring, not fleeting.

Lillian Garcia announces the beginning of the match, and Ricardo Rodriguez announces Alberto Del Rio as the first, el primero, entrant, entrante, of the Royal Rumble's 25th anniversary.

Del Rio makes his way to the ring, soaking up all the "love" and "support" of the fans, smiling the whole time.

No. 2: Chris Jericho

Jericho does his big entrance and glad-hands for about forty-five minutes, before entering the ring and trying to get each side of the arena to pop.

Del Rio looks disgusted and Rodriguez whips some mad Spanish at him, telling him to be serious, we're talking about Alberto Del Rio's destiny here. Show some respect, el respeto, for last year's winner.

Jericho shakes Del Rio's hand, screams "yeah" about five more times, when finally, mercifully, the bell rings.

And Jericho, untouched, walks to the ropes, puts one leg over, then the other, then hops down, both feet hitting the floor, shouting "yeah" and shaking his arms for all they're worth.

Chris Jericho eliminates himself.

Jericho tries to do one more round of high-fives then heads back up the ramp.

Del Rio holds his arms out and laughs, waiting an arduous 70 seconds until the next entrant is eventually released.

Entrants Remaining: 29

Time Elapsed: 01:30

In the Ring:

Alberto Del Rio (0 eliminations)

3... 2... 1...

No. 3: Ted DiBiase, Jr.

Everyone is now quite relieved to see Ted DiBiase come down the ramp, as we can all finally get to some action.

DiBiase gauges Del Rio a bit, sliding into the ring after a few seconds, and Del Rio is on him before he can stand up. Del Rio tries to power DiBiase over the ropes right away, but DiBiase is able to resist and push him off.

They have a good minute of singles competition where Del Rio is in charge, but DiBiase is able to recover with a little offense and is on his feet when the clock counts down again.

Entrants Remaining: 29

Time Elapsed: 03:00

In the Ring:

• Alberto Del Rio (0 eliminations)
• Ted DiBiase, Jr. (0 eliminations)

3... 2... 1...

No. 4: Yoshi Tatsu

The electrifying synthesized rhythms of J-Pop fill the arena as Tatsu makes his way to the ring.

Del Rio puts DiBiase down hard when Tatsu unleashes his Japanese Strong Style kicks on Del Rio. He and DiBiase work on Del Rio in the corner for a bit, when Tatsu turns on DiBiase and tries to eliminate him.

Time flies and before an elimination can occur, the clock is counting down again.

Entrants Remaining: 29

Time Elapsed: 04:30

In the Ring:

• Alberto Del Rio (0 eliminations)
• Ted DiBiase, Jr. (0 eliminations)
• Yoshi Tatsu (0 eliminations)

3... 2... 1...

No. 5: Ricardo Rodriguez

The first big swerve of the night comes as the Titantron blows up with Del Rio's music again, and Ricardo Rodriguez comes out, announcing himself.

Seems destiny is on Del Rio's side, or something, anyway.

DiBiase and Tatsu both whale on Del Rio as Rodriguez rushes to the ring. Rodriguez takes a beating from Tatsu, while Del Rio eliminates DiBiase, the first clean elimination of the night.

Alberto Del Rio eliminates Ted DiBiase, Jr.

Tatsu is in a bad way as the men from Mexico give him a brutal beating in the corner.

The clock counts down.

Entrants Remaining: 28

Time Elapsed: 06:00

In the Ring:

• Alberto Del Rio (1 elimination)
• Yoshi Tatsu (0 eliminations)
• Ricardo Rodriguez (0 eliminations)

3... 2... 1...

No. 6: Jey Uso

Without the Siva Tau, the crowd may not recognize the part of the theme they get to listen to, but Jey Uso runs down to the ring, attacking Del Rio and preventing the elimination of Tatsu.

Del Rio has a good handle on Uso, but is tiring. Rodriguez is kicking Tatsu in the corner.

Tatsu puts some good offense on Rodriguez, then helps Uso put Del Rio over, but Rodriguez attacks from behind, breaking up the attempt.

Time rolls on.

Entrants Remaining: 28

Time Elapsed: 07:30

In the Ring:

• Alberto Del Rio (1 elimination)
• Yoshi Tatsu (0 eliminations)
• Ricardo Rodriguez (0 eliminations)
• Jey Uso (0 eliminations)

3... 2... 1...

No. 7: Kofi Kingston

SOS blasts out and Kofi Kingston hops to the ring, rushing the last few feet and suddenly the tables have turned on Del Rio and Rodriguez.

The fresh Kingston brings the energy to the ring as Tatsu rests in the corner and Uso holds back Rodriguez. Del Rio is in trouble, and as Kingston, Tatsu, and Uso have him going over, Rodriguez slips under the bottom rope, laying on the ground below.

Del Rio sticks the landing on his announcer, preventing both feet from hitting the floor. Jumping to the steps, he prepares to re-enter, but all three men block him.

Rodriguez, who is not eliminated either, having gone under the ropes, re-enters and distracts the men. Uso and Tatsu grab Rodriguez and throw him over the rope.

Yoshi Tatsu and Jey Uso eliminate Ricardo Rodriguez.

Thanks to the assists from Rodriguez, Del Rio fights his way past Kingston and back into the ring.

Entrants Remaining: 27

Time Elapsed: 09:00

In the Ring:

• Alberto Del Rio (1 elimination)
• Yoshi Tatsu (1 shared elimination)
• Jey Uso (1 shared elimination)
• Kofi Kingston (0 eliminations)

3... 2... 1...

No. 8: Hunico

Hunico is next, and he immediately goes after Del Rio and then turns around, defending him. Del Rio laughs, and Kingston and Uso attack while Tatsu rests in the corner.

Del Rio and Kingston trade offense, while Hunico throws Uso over the top rope, but he holds on and saves himself. Meanwhile, Hunico attacks Tatsu, and after a little back and forth, Tatsu goes over for good.

Hunico eliminates Yoshi Tatsu.

Things are now even again, and Uso, who had been resting and allowed Hunico to fight Tatsu alone, jumps Hunico before he and Del Rio can double up on anyone.

Entrants Remaining: 26

Time Elapsed: 10:30

In the Ring:

• Alberto Del Rio (1 elimination)
• Jey Uso (1 shared elimination)
• Kofi Kingston (0 eliminations)
• Hunico (1 elimination)

3... 2... 1...

No. 9: Jimmy Uso

The fans should be a little more familiar with this music by now, as Jimmy Uso rushes down to join his brother.

Jimmy helps Jey fight off Del Rio while Kingston tangles with Hunico. Del Rio retreats and Hunico joins him, meanwhile the Usos back off as well.

It's now Del Rio and Hunico on one side of the ring, the Usos on the other, with Kingston all alone in the middle.

By now everyone knows that Evan Bourne is unavailable to compete and Kingston really is on an island.

The four others all attack him together, just as the clock winds down again.

Entrants Remaining: 26

Time Elapsed: 12:00

In the Ring:

• Alberto Del Rio (1 elimination)
• Jey Uso (1 shared elimination)
• Kofi Kingston (0 eliminations)
• Hunico (1 elimination)
• Jimmy Uso (0 eliminations)

3... 2... 1...

No. 10: Mark Henry

Mark Henry is an angry man. He's angry that his guaranteed re-match had to get delayed for Big Show's, that Big Show got multiple opportunities, and his re-match had to be a triple threat with Show.

And he's really mad that he lost.

Kingston is lying in the center of the ring, beaten. The other four men all look at Henry, and attack him as he enters the ring.

Henry, despite having a lingering ankle problem and having just gone through a tough triple threat match, pushes them away one at a time. Hunico and both Usos each go flying across the ring, and Henry sets in on Del Rio.

Jey Uso rushes Henry, who throws him over and out with one arm.

Mark Henry eliminates Jey Uso.

Hunico grabs him, and he goes over too.

Mark Henry eliminates Hunico.

The clock ticks...

Entrants Remaining: 24

Time Elapsed: 13:30

In the Ring:

• Alberto Del Rio (1 elimination)
• Kofi Kingston (0 eliminations)
• Jimmy Uso (0 eliminations)
• Mark Henry (2 eliminations)

3... 2... 1...

No. 11: Cody Rhodes

Del Rio, Kingston and Uso are collectively struggling to eliminate Henry, and none of them notice Rhodes entering the ring from the opposite corner.

Henry powers out just enough to toss Jimmy Uso over the top rope, but Del Rio and Kingston are on him again.

Mark Henry eliminates Jimmy Uso.

Rhodes slips up on the trio and helps Kingston and Del Rio put Henry over the top rope. He catches himself on the apron, but Del Rio and Kingston push him off.

Alberto Del Rio and Kofi Kingston eliminate Mark Henry.

Del Rio fights with Kingston as Henry slams his hands against the apron and stalks off.

Rhodes is happy to watch the other two go at it, and as Del Rio puts Kingston over the top and works at getting his hands off the top rope, Rhodes grabs Del Rio's legs and tips him over.

Cody Rhodes eliminates Alberto Del Rio.

Suddenly it seems like Rhodes is the one with destiny, and he kicks the dangling Kingston in the back, causing him to let go and be eliminated.

Cody Rhodes eliminates Kofi Kingston

Suddenly, Cody Rhodes is all alone in the ring! Could he win it all?

The clock counts down again.

Entrants Remaining: 20

Time Elapsed: 15:00

In the Ring:

• Cody Rhodes (2 eliminations)

3... 2... 1...

No. 12: Wade Barrett

Wade Barrett saunters down the ramp as Cody Rhodes is the only entrant left in the ring. Ten men have already been eliminated.

Barrett drops his coat and walks up the steps. Rhodes gives him plenty of room. Barrett enters slowly and Rhodes does nothing. Meeting in the center of the ring, they size each other up.

A few words are exchanged, along with a couple grins. Barrett grabs Rhodes' hand and raises it in victory, a flashback to Survivor Series when they were the remaining survivors.

Could one of them survive the next half hour and win the Rumble?

The clock ticks.

Entrants Remaining: 20

Time Elapsed: 16:30

In the Ring:

• Cody Rhodes (2 eliminations)
• Wade Barrett (0 eliminations)

3... 2... 1...

No. 13: Sheamus

Sheamus comes to the top of the ring, looks at the two men preparing for him, and shakes his head, smiling. With a shrug, he heads for the ring and is instantly set upon as he slides under the bottom rope.

Barrett and Rhodes batter him, but he's able to power his way to his feet. Things don't go much better for him then, but he begins to be able to put out a little offense. He manages a Brogue kick to Barrett, but Rhodes hits him with Cross Rhodes.

Rhodes tries to drag Sheamus up to the ropes as Barrett sits up, groggy.

Time marches on.

Entrants Remaining: 20

Time Elapsed: 18:00

In the Ring:

• Cody Rhodes (2 eliminations)
• Wade Barrett (0 eliminations)
• Sheamus (0 eliminations)

3... 2... 1...

No. 14: Goldust

In the second "surprise" entry, Goldust comes rushing out to save Sheamus. Rhodes is beside himself, complaining to no one in particular that Goldust even be entered.

He lets go of Sheamus and focuses on his brother while a recovering Barrett takes Sheamus into the corner. There are a couple of close calls, but no eliminations before the countdown starts again.

Entrants Remaining: 20

Time Elapsed: 19:30

In the Ring:

• Cody Rhodes (2 eliminations)
• Wade Barrett (0 eliminations)
• Sheamus (0 eliminations)
• Goldust (0 eliminations)

3... 2... 1...

No. 15: Jinder Mahal

Jinder Mahal is the next entrant, but he spends too much time on the ramp jawing at Sheamus, or someone.

Sheamus throws Rhodes bodily over the top rope, but he's able to grab it and pull himself to the apron. Goldust tries to finish him off and they fight at the ropes as Sheamus and Barrett go at it.

Mahal attacks Sheamus, and Barrett makes the save for Rhodes. Now Rhodes is punishing Goldust while Barrett and Mahal focus in on Sheamus.

Still no eliminations as the countdown reaches 3.

Entrants Remaining: 20

Time Elapsed: 21:00

In the Ring:

• Cody Rhodes (2 eliminations)
• Wade Barrett (0 eliminations)
• Sheamus (0 eliminations)
• Goldust (0 eliminations)
• Jinder Mahal (0 eliminations)

3... 2... 1...

No. 16: Booker T

Another surprise entry, and slightly more surprising since he's sitting at commentary! Booker throws off his headset and coat and charges the ring, taking Rhodes by surprise.

Booker and Goldust get Rhodes up and force him over the rope.

Booker T and Goldust eliminate Cody Rhodes.

Barrett and Mahal grab them by the legs and simultaneously spill them over the top rope.

Wade Barrett eliminates Booker T.

Jinder Mahal eliminates Goldust.

Sheamus gives a double clothesline to Barrett and Mahal. Both men go over, but Barrett saves himself.

Sheamus eliminates Jinder Mahal.

The countdown begins anew.

Entrants Remaining: 16

Time Elapsed: 22:30

In the Ring:

• Wade Barrett (1 elimination)
• Sheamus (1 elimination)

3... 2... 1...

No. 17: Justin Gabriel

Sheamus is stomping Barrett as Justin Gabriel makes his way to the ring. For a while Gabriel stays out of the way in the corner, allowing the two bigger men to wear each other out.

He makes a rookie mistake by sitting on top of the turnbuckle. Sheamus Irish whips Barrett into Gabriel's corner, but Gabriel is able to vault over him, landing in the middle of the ring.

Gabriel looks mad, but Sheamus just smiles at him and shrugs, as if to say, "you should be getting your hands dirty, fella." Gabriel kicks Sheamus, who flattens him with a clothesline.

With just over half the field remaining, who will be next?

Entrants Remaining: 16

Time Elapsed: 24:00

In the Ring:

• Wade Barrett (1 elimination)
• Sheamus (1 elimination)
• Justin Gabriel (0 eliminations)

3... 2... 1...

No. 18: Drew McIntyre

Despite being fired on the previous Smackdown, McIntyre somehow got himself entered into the big one. With a win, the WWE will have to keep him on and he can finally fulfill the promise of being the Chosen One.

Sheamus and Barrett return to fighting each other while McIntyre dismantles Gabriel. McIntyre sends Gabriel over but he manages to swing himself back through the ropes into McIntyre.

Entrants Remaining: 16

Time Elapsed: 25:30

In the Ring:

• Wade Barrett (1 elimination)
• Sheamus (1 elimination)
• Justin Gabriel (0 eliminations)
• Drew McIntyre (0 eliminations)

3... 2... 1...

No. 19: Brodus Clay

The Funkasaurus gyrates his way to the ring, accompanied by his two dancers. The wrestlers all look at Clay, except Barrett, who takes advantage and attacks Sheamus.

Clay throws his weight around and soon eliminates Gabriel.

Brodus Clay eliminates Justin Gabriel.

Clay uses "aww funk it" finisher on McIntyre, then drags him up and throws him out as well.

Brodus Clay eliminates Drew McIntyre.

Sheamus and Barrett team up to hoist the Funkasaurus up and over the top rope, eliminating him.

Sheamus and Wade Barrett eliminate Brodus Clay.

Clay's dancers grab Sheamus' arms and start pulling him over the rope. He struggles to pull his arms back, but Barrett grabs his legs and over he goes.

Wade Barrett eliminates Sheamus.

Barrett is now alone, the sole survivor in the ring!

But the clock has reached 0.

Entrants Remaining: 12

Time Elapsed: 27:00

In the Ring:

• Wade Barrett (3 eliminations, 2 solo)

3... 2... 1...

No. 20: Randy Orton

Orton returns to confront a shocked-looking Barrett. Orton slithers into the ring and the two men go at it.

After a minute of back-and-forth offense, no attempts at elimination have been made; these two are just fighting each other.

Entrants Remaining: 12

Time Elapsed: 28:30

In the Ring:

• Wade Barrett (3 eliminations, 2 solo)
• Randy Orton (0 eliminations)

3... 2... 1...

No. 21: Zach Ryder

Back from his injury, the kid from Long Island enters next. Barrett and Orton are plenty busy with each other, so Ryder takes his time getting in the ring, working the crowd.

After about a minute of watching them go at it, Ryder sees his moment: Orton and Barrett are leaning hard on the ropes, each trying to eliminate the other.

Ryder grabs a couple legs and over they both go.

Zach Ryder eliminates Wade Barrett and Randy Orton.

Ryder is now alone in the ring, celebrating. Only a third of the field to go, the Woo Woo Woo Kid has a pretty good shot at going the distance now.

Barrett is incredulous and furious, but doesn't have time to confront Ryder as Orton continues his assault, driving Barrett up the ramp with attack after vicious attack.

Entrants Remaining: 10

Time Elapsed: 30:00

In the Ring:

• Zach Ryder (2 eliminations)

3... 2... 1...

No. 22: Jack Swagger

A cocky Swagger comes out to stand at the top of the ramp, belt over shoulder, accompanied by Vickie Guerrero. He hands her his belt and charges the ring.

Ryder gives as good as he gets, but it's clear he's a little rusty after his brief hiatus, and Swagger is getting the best of him.

Suddenly the sound of horns, and Cena is in the building again. He stalks down the ramp past a screeching Guerrero. Thwagger is speechless, and he points at Cena, telling him he's not an entrant and can't interfere. Guerrero calls the refs to stop Cena, who never tries to step off the ramp.

Ryder takes advantage of the distraction and hits Swagger with a Rough Ryder. A little extra effort and Ryder has Swagger over the rope.

Zach Ryder eliminates Jack Swagger.

Cena smiles at a screaming Swagger and Guerrero, and makes his way back up the ramp.

Entrants Remaining: 9

Time Elapsed: 31:30

In the Ring:

• Zach Ryder (3 eliminations)

3... 2... 1...

No. 23: The Miz

Ryder celebrates his latest elimination as Miz makes his way down the ramp. Ryder gets serious and stares Miz down, but after a few traded punches, Miz is in control.

Miz isn't in a hurry to eliminate Ryder, he just wears him down while keeping control and keeping himself in good position.

Entrants Remaining: 9

Time Elapsed: 33:00

In the Ring:

• Zach Ryder (3 eliminations)
• The Miz (0 eliminations)

3... 2... 1...

No. 24: R-Truth

Miz is livid when he sees who's coming out next, and tries to eliminate Ryder before Truth can get there. He's unable to do so, and Ryder rests in the corner while Truth and Miz have it out.

Nobody is eliminated before the next entrant arrives.

Entrants Remaining: 9

Time Elapsed: 34:30

In the Ring:

• Zach Ryder (3 eliminations)
• The Miz (0 eliminations)
• R-Truth (0 eliminations)

3... 2... 1...

No. 25: CM Punk

CM Punk makes his way to the ring to a huge pop, as he's just been screwed by John Laurinaitus, and here's his chance to get the first step to revenge.

Punk lays into Miz, and Ryder steps in to help, when Truth, who had just been brawling with Miz, grabs Ryder and tosses him over the top.

R-Truth eliminates Zach Ryder.

Ryder is livid, shouting, "Are you serious, bro?" while Truth twitches and says something about Little Jimmy. Truth and Punk stomp a mud hole in Miz and prepare to walk it dry.

The clock ticks down again.

Entrants Remaining: 9

Time Elapsed: 36:00

In the Ring:

• The Miz (0 eliminations)
• R-Truth (1 elimination)
• CM Punk (0 eliminations)

3... 2... 1...

No. 26: David Otunga

The counter hits 0 and Tyson Kidd's music starts to play, but instead of Kidd, out comes John Laurinaitis and his cohort, David Otunga! Laurinaitis has made a last second change!

The Macchiato Mauler, the Folgers Soldier, the next entrant to the Royal Rumble is David Otunga! The Legal Man, he has power of attorney!

Laurinaitis' lapdog makes his way to the ring, as Lil' Johnny (I'm sorry, Big Johnny) smiles gleefully.

His smile drops, however, when Punk pushes a brawling Miz and Truth over the top rope, right in front of Otunga.

CM Punk eliminates The Miz and R-Truth.

Otunga stares, looks back at Laurinaitis, and then returns his gaze to Punk, who is grinning ear to ear and holding the ropes open for him.

Meanwhile Truth and Miz are brawling on the floor.

Looking pretty steamed, Otunga enters the ring and proceeds to get blown up by Punk, who plays every move to Laurinaitis with a smile, throwing him a couple points and mouthing "you're next" and "this is you."

Entrants Remaining: 7

Time Elapsed: 37:30

In the Ring:

• CM Punk (2 eliminations)
• David Otunga (0 eliminations)

3... 2... 1...

No. 27: Daniel Bryan

CM Punk continues the beat-down on Otunga as Daniel Bryan comes out. The other defeated champion of the night, he stalks to the ring with a purpose.

Once he reaches the ropes, he slips into the ring and pulls the ropes down. Punk tosses Otunga over the lowered ropes, and Otunga is out.

CM Punk eliminates David Otunga.

Punk gives Bryan a smile in thanks. The two men try to feel each other out. Punk asks Bryan how many entrants are left. Bryan does a little finger math. It's four more, plus Bryan and Punk.

Punk offers his hand, and Bryan gives it a little slap and makes a little nod. The two men wait on opposite sides of the ring.

The clock winds down.

Entrants Remaining: 6

Time Elapsed: 39:00

In the Ring:

• CM Punk (3 eliminations)
• Daniel Bryan (0 eliminations)

3... 2... 1...

No. 28: Christian

Christian enters, holding a finger aloft and shouting, "one more match!"

Punk and Bryan back up, letting him enter. The three men eye each other, and both Bryan and Punk attack Christian. However, Bryan soon backs up and lets the other two have it out.

Every time Christian gets the better of Punk, Bryan comes in for a shot, then backs out when Punk gets back up.

Time moves on.

Entrants Remaining: 6

Time Elapsed: 40:30

In the Ring:

• CM Punk (3 eliminations)
• Daniel Bryan (0 eliminations)
• Christian (0 eliminations)

3... 2... 1...

No. 29: Rey Mysterio

Mysterio enters to a huge pop, rushes the ring and gets stuck in with Bryan. Punk and Christian go after it on the other side of the ring.

Bryan gets Mysterio in a hold, and Christian uses the ropes to stand on Punk and choke him. Bryan lets go of Mysterio and pushes Christian off Punk and over the rope.

Daniel Bryan eliminates Christian.

Punk is still hung up on the ropes, and Mysterio hits him with the 619. Mysterio starts to put Punk over the top rope and Bryan helps him!

Rey Mysterio and Daniel Bryan eliminate CM Punk.

Punk is out on the floor.

One entrant is left.

Entrants Remaining: 3

Time Elapsed: 42:00

In the Ring:

• Daniel Bryan (2 eliminations, 1 solo)
• Rey Mysterio (1 shared elimination)

3... 2... 1...

No. 30: Santino Marella

Santino comes to the ring, blowing his trombone. Number 30, the final entrant. After surviving to the final two last year, can Santino do it this year?

The three remaining men stare each other down. They each make a move for the next, and stop after a couple steps. Then Santino and Bryan both turn on Mysterio, and they're off to the races.

After a couple of minutes of back and forth action, Santino manages to power a streaking Mysterio over the top rope.

Santino Marella eliminates Rey Mysterio.

Santino celebrates for a second while Bryan smiles and claps. Suddenly, Santino tries to put on a serious face and begins to break out the Cobra.

The Cobra strikes, but Bryan dodges and reverses it into a hold which he turns into the Lebell Lock.

Santino writhes and screams for a bit before Bryan releases him from the hold, but pulls him up by his Cobra arm. (I think that's Franchesco.)

Bryan leads him to the ropes but Santino pushes with his other hand (that would be Pasquale, if I'm right) and gets Bryan against the ropes.

Santino manages to force Byran over the rope and onto the apron. Bryan pulls the rope down with one hand while sliding his legs between the bottom and second rope. With his other hand, he pulls Santino forward onto the top rope.

Grabbing Santino with both hands, Bryan pulls him over. Santino crashes to the floor while Bryan's legs snag the ropes and he dangles upside down.

Daniel Bryan eliminates Santino.

Bryan is the winner, and is set to fulfill his boyhood dream of being in the main event of WrestleMania!

Entrants Remaining: 1

Time Elapsed: 41:30

In the Ring:

• Daniel Bryan (3 eliminations, 1 solo)

Conclusion

So after roughly 45 minutes, Daniel Bryan comes out on top of 29 other competitors.

There were some swerves, some unexpected entrants and no Cena or Kane in the match.

How would you feel if this were the result of the real Rumble?

Who do you think I snubbed by keeping them out?

Anything confuse you?

Who do you want to win?

I want Santino to win, but I couldn't book it, and neither will WWE.