Kobe Bryant Video: Watch Lakers Star Detail the Benefits of His New Kicks

When a basketball shoe ad promises you filet mignon instead of being able to fly, are you really going to buy any other pair?

OK, I’ll answer that for you: no.

Kobe Bryant’s Nike commercial is convincing. It takes the brand’s most successful basketball player and decisively attempts to sell success. On the YouTube page of the clip, the video description reads: “Are you successful? As successful as you could or should be? Learn to adapt to succeed through the KobeSystem. Coming soon.”

Forget P90x; the KobeSystem is coming soon.

According to Amina Kahn of the Los Angeles Times, Kobe gave Alex Rodriguez some advice for his injured knee and shoulder this offseason. Sure, Kahn tells about A-Rod receiving the same platelet-rich plasma injections that Bryant received this summer, but is there more to it? I don’t know; if the KobeSystem enables you to do rad skateboard tricks, then I wouldn’t doubt that the Black Mamba advised Rodriguez to use his success scheme as well.

The least believable part of the “You Need the KobeSystem” commercial happened to be the part about people laughing at your jokes. Everyone knows Bryant is the least likely player in the entire NBA to become a stand-up comedian. The only time people laugh at Kobe is when he’s telling Kwame Brown stories like the one that he told Michael Lee of the Washington Post:

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“So I’m surrounded by these players, Detroit players, and Kwame is under the basket, all by himself. Literally, like all by himself. So I pass him the ball, he bobbled it and it goes out of bounds. So we go back to the timeout and I’m [upset], right? He goes, ‘I was wide open.’ ‘Yeah, I know.’…I said, ‘You’re going to be open again, Kwame, because Rasheed is just totally ignoring you.’ He said, ‘Well, if I’m open don’t throw it to me.’ I was like, ‘Huh?’  He said, ‘Don’t throw it to me.’ I said, ‘Why not?’ He said, well, ‘I’m nervous. If I catch it and they foul me, I won’t make the free throws.’ I said, ‘Hell no!’”

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Actually, I take back what I just said. Kobe could become a comedian and just make fun of Kwame, Smush Parker and Luke Walton the entire show. The KobeSystem truly is flawless.

David Daniels is a Featured Columnist at Bleacher Report and a syndicated writer.

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