January Transfer Rumors: 15 Ridiculous Deals with No Chance of Happening

There is nothing like the anticipation of a football transfer window.

You are either pumped that your club has signed someone, pissed that another club got to that one player you knew would make yours a title contender first or sitting on the edge of your seat like a little kid, biting your nails just waiting for what is next.

As the coming transfer window is closing in I know that we all have our moments of frustration, excitement and then most of the time heartache. In most cases this cycle is brought on by rumors rather than actual facts.

While there are some credible rumors that circle around during the month prior to the opening of a major transfer window, the majority of those rumors that you read or hear are absolute and complete nonsense.

This December has seen and heard more than its fair share of ludicrous rumors. As we take a look at 15 of the absolute worst, feel free to add all the others in the comments below.

Nigel De Jong to Queens Park Rangers

Givemefootball reports that Manchester City defensive midfielder Nigel De Jong is a loan target for Queens Park Rangers in the January transfer window.

This is not so much ridiculous as not really even an option.

With Rangers wanting to sign players to keep them up for more than one season, bringing in a player that is on a £55,000-per-week salary might hamper their ability to attract players as they would be limiting their available wage budget.

Gonzalo Higuain to Chelsea

Chelsea have been noted as hoping to swoop for Real Madrid's Gonzalo Higuain during the January transfer window, according to the Guardian.

Honestly I would see Los Blancos letting Karim Benzema go first.

Why would they sell their second-leading scorer—who has years to improve before he even hits the prime of his career—while they are in the desperate battle to oust Barcelona at the top of La Liga?

Neymar to Chelsea

Ahh the Daily Mail. Neymar also has become a recent transfer target of Chelsea manager Andre Villas-Boas.

The youngster who impressed the world once again at the FIFA World Club Cup a weekend ago has been "sold to different clubs since he was 10," as he claimed in a recent Goal.com article.

In all honesty Chelsea don't really have a prayer of signing the youngster if they are going head-to-head with Real Madrid, even with Roman Abramovich's deep pockets.

Jack Rodwell to Chelsea

Everton's Jack Rodwell has become another Chelsea-speculated target for the winter window.

The 20-year-old has two goals and an assist for the Toffees so far this season, but is thought to be a long-term replacement for the center midfield problems from John Obi Mikel.

Honestly I think Oriel Romeu already has solved that problem, and if Rodwell moves he is not likely to get the playing time he can earn at Everton in order to keep improving.

Metro also claims that Tottenham and Manchester City are looking at the youngster as well.

Carlos Tevez to Tottenham

Carlos Tevez to Tottenham just about made me fall out of my chair at work as I browsed the headlines across The Sun on one of my daily morning scans around the football realm to see what was going on in the speculation market.

Naturally the Daily Mail picked up on the buzz and shot out their version of the rumor. ESPNsoccernet, Metro and the BBC all went with the cooler side of the pillow that it was not going to happen.

Luka Modric to Chelsea

The long-running transfer saga of Luka Modric from Tottenham to Chelsea apparently is still going on despite multiple attempts, such as this Goal.com article, to end the speculation.

Mario Goetze to Arsenal

As much as I personally think Mario Goetze could help Arsenal, I just don't believe the Gunners will splash the kind of cash it is going to take to bring him to London.

Metro reports that Goetze is Arsene Wenger's top target in January with an estimated £30 million being thought as the bid amount for the Borussia Dortmund playmaker.

However, I think a Gunners move for Lukas Podolski, as thought possible by the Guardian, is much more likely to happen since his price tag is estimated at only £15 million, which is half of Goetze's and would leave room for an additional signing.

Xherdan Shaqiri to Manchester United

Manchester United are rumored to be setting up a January bid to prise Swiss forward Xherdan Shaqiri from FC Basel, according to Foxsports.com, after the Champions of Switzerland knocked them out of the UEFA Champions League.

While it would be a great new signing for United, it would not make much sense for Basel to cash in on him just yet. You don't sell your most talented youth when you are readying for a Knockout stage clash against Bayern Munich.

Alexandre Pato to Manchester City

The Daily Mail continues its fantastical transfer ramblings with the report that AC Milan could use Alexandre Pato as the makeweight for a Carlos Tevez loan.

Seriously, just let that sink in for a minute.

Let's give away a promising young Brazilian that already has made massive strides at the club for a six-month loan deal for an Argentine forward that has not even played a match since September and has a long history of causing nothing but problems.

Christian Eriksen to Manchester United

Ajax Amsterdam and Danish international midfielder Christian Eriksen is rumored to be the target of Manchester United, according to both ESPNsoccernet and Goal.com.

Back in May Eriksen admitted  in an interview reported on Goal.com that he was not ready to make a major move. On top of that he claimed that he would much rather go to Spain than England.

Darren Bent to Queens Park Rangers

While it was a surprise last January to see Darren Bent make a £20 million transfer from Sunderland to Aston Villa, i don't expect a repeat of that surprise to happen this year.

Nevertheless the Express and also Daily Mail both have the player linked with a January move to Neil Warnock and Queens Park Rangers in the hopes of recouping much of the money they paid out for his services.

David Villa to Chelsea or Liverpool

Both Chelsea and Liverpool were reported to be seriously looking at a January move for Barcelona striker David Villa.

Pep Guardiola squashed the rumors through Metro, but the broken leg suffered by Villa at the 2011 FIFA Club World Cup last weekend is likely to end any of the possible moves for Villa.

Daniele De Rossi to Manchester United

The AS Roma captain has been linked with a move to Manchester United once again ,according to Caughtoffside. This summer the player was believed to be headed to United but nothing ever came of the rumors.

Most likely this is going to play out the same way it did in the summer—Rossi is unlikely to ever leave Roma since he is one of the club's most permanent fixtures that they need to have intact.

Edinsen Cavani to Chelsea

Givemefootball reports that Chelsea fans have ranked Napoli's Edinson Cavani as their No. 1 transfer target for the January window just days after the Daily Mail broke the story that Andre Villas-Boas was looking to make the Uruguayan one of his main priorities.

Napoli are never going to let any of their main three attacking stars of Ezequiel Lavezzi, Marik Hamsik or Cavani go at the moment, and this is rubbish if I have ever seen it.

Fernando Torres to Liverpool

As much as I would love to see Fernando Torres come home to Merseyside and set things right I know that it will never happen, at least not now.

The recent reports that have come out via ESPNsoccernet and other sources with his comments about what happened when he was leaving the club has clearly put it in perspective that it is way too soon to think about a reconciliation, if ever.

However, Chelsea look to have no faith in the player and he could be set to make a move to AC Milan in Italy as reported by Goal.com, or La Liga side Malaga according to Metro.

Both look to continue building a strong side that already has added the likes of Spanish national team player Santi Cazorla over the summer from Villarreal.

Conclusion

This is just the tip of the iceberg for the rumors that are pure and simple nonsense this December, and I encourage you all to have at these and throw up any others that you feel are completely unfounded.

Thanks for reading, and be sure to check out more on Bleacher Report and at the links below. You can follow me on Twitter @thedailyatz and Facebook or visit my website.