Dead or Alive: Dr. Borland's Prognosis for 11 Teams on the Playoff Bubble

It's Week 13 in the NFL and the doctor is in.  We find New England, Green Bay, San Francisco and New Orleans healthy as a horse and guaranteed survival into the postseason. 

Oakland will pull through with a dose of Darren McFadden.  As for Baltimore and Pittsburgh, they're just too tough to let the occasional runny nose get them down.

Teams like Indianapolis, Minnesota and St. Louis sadly passed on weeks ago. May they rest in peace.

That leaves 11 teams on the playoff bubble.  Some are alive.  Some dead (though they may not know it yet). With winter coming on and NFL survival on the line, here's Dr. Borland's prognosis for the teams on the bubble.

Philadelphia Eagles: DEAD

You can stick a fork in the birds. The odds-on pick for NFC Champion during the preseason is out of it. 

Much like the Miami Heat during the last NBA season, the best talent in the NFL will fall short in 2011. Even if Mike Vick returns and the Eagles win out (a difficult task against teams like the Jets and Cowboys), 9-7 will not be enough.

It’s an old lesson. Talent without chemistry always underachieves. To borrow from Dennis Green’s immortal line, the Eagles aren’t who we thought they were.

Denver Broncos: ALIVE

There are two phenomenal streaks in the NFL right now—the Packers quest for the perfect season and Tim Tebow’s unlikely 5-1 record as a starter.

True, the Denver defense has gone unappreciated.  Tebow’s Broncos have scored more than 18 points only once during the streak.  But when it’s Tebow time at the end of a game, he finds a way to get 'er done. 

Denver has four very winnable games left against the Vikings, Bills, Chiefs and Bears (at home).  A 10-6 record could even get a divisional crown if the Raiders falter.

Chicago Bears: ALIVE

The Caleb Hanie Project continues in Chicago.  The Bears likely would have won Sunday if Hanie hadn’t thrown three interceptions.  His fake spike/spike as time wound down was something I’d never seen in an NFL game.  The resulting 10-second penalty runoff erased any chance of a Bears' comeback.

He’ll need to be coached up by Lovie Smith and the Bears staff but with an offense that relies on Matt Forte, he doesn’t need to do a lot.  Easy games against KC, Seattle and Minnesota lie ahead, so the Bears seem capable of getting to the 10-win plateau and staying in the hunt.

This Hanie Project has a far better chance of making the playoffs than Charles Barkley had of breaking 80.

Buffalo Bills: DEAD

The Bills played well in a must-win game against the Jets on Sunday, but couldn’t collect a victory thanks, in part, to Stevie Johnson's Plaxico Shuffle.

They stand at 5-6 and finish the season with games against the sure-to-be-desperate Broncos and New England.  An 8-8 mark won't be enough.

After a sizzling 4-1 start, the Bills have come back to earth and they've now lost four in a row. They haven’t been to the playoffs this century.

They aren’t going to start now.

Houston Texans: ALIVE

Let's face it.  Under normal circumstances the doctor would consider the Texans a sure thing for playoff survival, but they’ve never been there before.  Just when you think they're out of the woods they slide back into terminal bad luck.

Now they’ve lost not only their starting QB but their backup to injury.  They’re 8-3 with a two-game lead on the Titans but they’re going to have to win with a third-string QB. 

Thankfully, the Texans have the best defense in the AFC allowing only 16.3 points a game. They won't need much from T.J. Yates, who will spend his time handing off to Arian Foster and Ben Tate while minimizing mistakes and doing just enough to keep defenses honest.

The Texans will almost certainly defeat Indy and Carolina and get to 10 wins.  They also have a perfect divisional record.  Should Tennessee find a way to catch them, Houston would win in the tiebreaker.

Tennessee Titans: ALIVE but on Life Support

Barring a total breakdown by Houston, the Titans would likely have to win out against Buffalo, New Orleans, Indy, Jacksonville and the Texans to win the division, and even that may not be enough.

Chris Johnson looks like he’s back, the defense played well on Sunday and QB Matt Hasselbeck is a gamer, but the wild card will also be a tall order.  Tennessee would have to get past the 7-4 Bengals and the 6-5 Jets, who play a schedule that's a gift from the football gods.

New York Giants: DEAD

Following a crushing loss to New Orleans on Monday, the G-Men have lost three in a row. They're now one game behind three other NFC teams in the wild card.

Meanwhile, their schedule is brutal.  They must play Green Bay, the Jets on the road and Dallas twice.  The only walkover is a home game against Washington in Week 15. 

Ahmad Bradshaw is hobbled and Brandon Jacobs hasn’t picked up the slack.  The defense is downright offensive.  Despite what the ESPNers say, the Giants should be auditioning for a role in the Walking Dead by Week 17.

Atlanta Falcons: ALIVE

The Falcons have won five of six and are rounding into form for a big playoff push. 

Roddy White is on the upswing and Michael Turner should break the 1,000-yard rushing mark next week.  The defense gives up a respectable 20.6 points a game.

Atlanta has a winnable game at home against QB-challenged Houston next week, along with Carolina, Jacksonville and Tampa Bay in the following weeks.  An 11-5 mark is quite possible and the Falcons could ultimately challenge New Orleans for the NFC South division title.

A hot team flying under the radar and peaking at the right time, the Falcons have a legitimate Super Bowl shot.

Detroit Lions: DEAD

Detroit started out 5-0 but then came the Harbaugh Handshake of Death.  The've gone a woeful 2-4 since.  The 27-15 loss to Green Bay on Thanksgiving Day wasn’t that close. 

With Ndamukong Suh suspended for two games and tough matchups against New Orleans, Oakland and Green Bay in the next three weeks, Detroit should be outside looking in by Christmas.

New York Jets: ALIVE

The Jets are in the wild-card catbird seat with a 6-5 record.

Four of their final five games are against the Skins, KC, Miami and Philly.  If they can't win these games they don't deserve a playoff berth.  Their other game against the incredible shrinking Giants could also end up in the win column. 

The Jets have been inconsistent, especially on offense, but if they win out, look out!

Cincinnati Bengals: 50/50 Chance of Survival

Cincinnati's "Who Dey "crowd is feeling as feisty as Joe Kapp at a football luncheon, but they were lucky to win Sunday.  Another bad snap caused Cleveland to miss a go-ahead FG late.

At this point you’ve got to cede two AFC playoff spots to Baltimore and Pittsburgh.  Could three teams come out of the AFC North?

Cincy has two walkovers against the Rams and Cardinals but three testers against Pittsburgh, Houston and Baltimore.  They’re one game up on the Jets and Titans in the wild-card race but the schedule favors New York. 

Still, the Bengals have a pulse and a fighting chance.  Next to the 49ers, they're the best outhouse-to-penthouse story in the NFL this season.