NFL Week 9 Picks: Guaranteed Losers Primed for Woeful Performances on Sunday

Here is a grand, fun-loving article for you fans of all things hopeless. These are the guaranteed losers plodding their way to the NFL guillotine in Week 9. 

Avert your eyes if you happen to be a fan of one of these teams. Well, I guess it would be far too late if you saw your team's name listed. I'll just tell you to avert your eyes this Sunday, when your team lays an egg in the middle of the field on national TV. 

Football is a harsh game. Every single team is destined to drop at least one game. Well, except the Green Bay Packers. Have I given too much away?

You can hardly decry the parity, because it's what makes the NFL such a breath of fresh air in regards to other sports. So lift your class and cheers the losers that bring humility and parity to the league. Huzzah. 

San Diego Chargers

They have looked like dirt for a couple weeks, and really laid a stinker against the Chiefs. I have no confidence that Philip Rivers is going to magically figure things out against the Packers. I don't care what kind of defense they have. 

The Bolts will bumble and fumble their way to another loss and there is little San Diego fans can do about it. 

Arizona Cardinals

Ah, yes, the game of two horrible teams. The only certainty is that both teams can't lose. Otherwise they would. The Rams are indeed a great team when Steven Jackson is healthy. 

Against a horrid defense, Jackson will have the Rams rolling to their second win this season. 

Chicago Bears

Sorry Bears fans, but the Eagles are again dreamy. The one little piece of the puzzle was their woeful defense. They seem to be comfortable in their roles and ready to knockout some wins. 

Meanwhile Matt Forte is getting quite tired with running the ball all the time. Poor guy is all tuckered out. Well, the issues will show through in a loss on Monday night.