Miami Dolphins: Why Coach Tony Sparano Should Pack His Bags Now

File this one under "the obvious understatement of the day."

Tony Sparano is a goner in Miami.

It's not a question of if—it's simply a matter of when.

The Dolphins threw a 50-gallon drum of gasoline on the "Get Rid of Sparano" fire when they cancelled his Monday press conference just a short time ago.

Things are pretty stinky down there in Dade County at the Dead Fish Factory, although we are once again reminded that those perky, intelligent Dolphins are not fish.

While one Dolphin Tale is the darling of the box office these days, the Dolphin Tale II that is being shot in Miami is an ugly one.

It doesn't get much worse than 0-4 for the first quarter of any season—and that's exactly where these Tony Sparano Dolphins sit, or should I say are beached.

Looking back, you have to wonder what possessed owner Stephen Ross when he gave Sparano an extension just a short while ago. Then he followed up that gem of wisdom by outwardly courting Jim Harbaugh.

Little did Ross know that Harbaugh was being courted in his own back yard by San Francisco, leaving Harbaugh with a really tough decision.

"Geez honey," you can imagine Harbaugh saying to his wife, "should we move more than 3,000 miles to Miami or hang out here on the west coast where we all really love it?"

Sorry, Stephen.

As much as NFL players say they don't pay attention to the media, you can bet your Dolphin Denny Dan Marino badge that they all knew about Ross chasing Harbaugh like a schoolgirl in pursuit of Justin Bieber.

Which now brings us to the 0-4 start, the injury to Chad Henne and the gosh-awful state of affairs down there in sunny South Florida.

Sparano can start looking through resort brochures—vacation time may be near.

It will be a nice one. Ross will owe him a nice chunk of change if he's fired, and South Florida's a nice place to be with cash in your pocket.

The Dolphins have a bye week, and if now's the time to give Sparano the bum's rush—well, just who will Ross turn to?

Mike Nolan?

His defense has gone from sixth to 30th and can take more than it's fair share of the blame for this winless venture.

There are "names" lurking out there.

Bill Cower was once courted by Miami, Jon Gruden's tired of biting his tongue, not being able to drop any "f-bombs" in the Monday Night Football booth, and Jeff Fisher's out there as well.

The problem is that none of those three are going to drop what they're doing and fly south like migratory birds.

There are plenty of parties on South Beach, but this 2011 Dolphin season is not one of them.

It's mugly, meaning "more than ugly."

It's just about time for the season to end for the "Sparanos" television series.

And the end might be coming sooner than later.