Pittsburgh Penguins: The Only Games That Matter In 2008-2009

The Pens 2008-2009 season has begun. Yeah for Evgeni Malkin falling for no reason. Serious injuries to Ryan Whitney and Sergei Gonchar in the preseason have left many concerned but the offense which has produced unbalanced scoring has been the culprit in the opening moments of the 2008-2009 season. Consider the following as must see action for Sid and the Kids. 

Tue, Nov 18 Minnesota

Trade bait preview time! Ray Shero will be watching Marian Gaborik closely in this one but is he really interested in trading for an impending free agent, who is injury prone, disappears in the playoffs, is blonde... Christ the similarities are horrifying. Crosby did get hurt tonight (October 30th) and Hossa's replacement, Satan, is on the third line, so don't be surprised if Shero seeks out another option. I, for one, am hoping Gaborik and is baggage arrive in town. But don't give him a number resembling 8.

Wed, Dec 3 @ New York

At the conclusion of Game 4 of the Eastern Conference Semifinals Evgeni Malkin took it upon himself to slew foot everyone and their step sister in the final minute of play. No big deal, he's 6'3 and Russian and the Penguins won the series the next game in Pittsburgh. In their first meeting this season at MSG, the Pens blew a late lead and lost in a shootout. Rangers seem to be screaming, "We're born again!" given the departure of Double J 68 as they enjoy an early hot stretch. Don't forget New Yorkers hate young Crosby.

Wed, Jan 14 Washington

Alexander Ovechkin is hilariously entertaining to watch. He skates like a sex panther, shoots like Kobe Bryant and hits like a drunk driver although he leaves his feet and charges every time.

Problem 1: He's targeted Malkin dating back to last year. www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZkPn9kjRFE

Problem 2: Both Russians will have had two months to think about the October 16th meeting before they see each other again.

Problem 3: Malkin may have to settle the score himself.

Sun, Feb 8 Detroit

Today we spell redemption C.R.O.S.B.Y. The last time the Red Wings were in town they hoisted the Cup. This time the Penguins hope to prove to their fans they are a vastly improved team. Well truth be told, the Penguins are a significantly different team than the Red Wings faced in the Finals and the Red Wings are just a year older plus a game named Hossa. The Penguins also get a chance to visit Detroit November 11.

Sun, Mar 22 Philadelphia

We just don't get along. They boo Santa Claus. Throw mustard packets at little girls. Throw popcorn on Malkin. The worst people in sport sit in their stands. Thankfully, the last time we have to play them in the regular season is at home. More importantly, perennial Penguin killer RJ Umberger has sold out for more money to play in the mecca of all humanity Columbus, Ohio. I must confess this game will have very important playoff implications despite my loathsome nature towards all things Philadelphia.  

Wed, Apr 1 New Jersey

Will this be the swan song for young Brody? Unlikely, as the Devils tender shaved ten pounds this offseason and will probably have another 300 shutouts this season. At this point Gonchar should be back, the chemistry issues should be squashed, we should be scoring even strength goals, and a playoff position shouldn't be in question. You betcha? You betcha! In the event the brutal Atlantic Division has taken its toll on the Guinos and a playoff spot is at stake, Malkin the Dangler can always do this www.youtube.com/watch?v=guo5p1hj740

Suck it Brodeur, suck it long. And, suck it hard.

Keep these games in mind this season and you'll have good idea as to where thePenguinos stand in the power rankings. With the injuries to defensemen Goncher and Ryan Whitney they might not repeat last years performance of 102 points but if bothreturn healthy, Shero pulls a rabbit at the trade deadline, this team will be in good shape to peak at the right moment. They certainly won't be in Paul Allen's shoes  www.youtube.com/watch?v=POl3eD6IJ7A

P.S. Sidney loves Huey Lewis and the News.