San Francisco Giants Power Rankings: Brian Wilson's 10 Most Hilarious Tweets
Brian Wilson. The Man. The Beard. The Legend.
The Giants' charismatic and rather enigmatic closer has blessed fans in San Francisco and around baseball with a myriad of sayings, captivating the world with his glorious awesomeness.
Since 2009, Wilson has transferred some of his epic phrases to Twitter and, with over 100,000 followers, I'd say his fans are pretty happy about it.
So, with that in mind, let's rank the 10 most hilarious tweets from the unique mind of Mr. Brian Wilson.
You're welcome.
10. March 10, 6:47 PM. Chuck Norris.
1 of 10
Tweet: Chuck Norris was born on this day, the birth of his beard was 2 days prior. #HappyBdayCHUCKNORRIS.
Wilson is a big fan of Norris (who wouldn't be, right?), and the homage to the beard makes for some entertaining Twitter fun.
9. February 16, 11:32 AM. Chad Ochocinco.
2 of 10
Tweet: @ochocinco Dr. Cinco, throw away all razors and just let the facial hair get weird...the beard will know what to do from there.
How can Wilson's tweets get any better? Only by including some other high-profile sports stars with a bit of an eccentric side. Who better than the guy who changed his last name not to his number, but to the individual digits of his number...in Spanish?
8. February 12, 10:00 PM. Jeremy Affeldt.
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Tweet: @JeremyAffeldt I told you I could have arm wrestled the mountain to its knees and you could have taken one step to the top...Didnt listen!
This tweet is hilarious, simply because we really have no context whatsoever, and it publicizes an inside joke between Wilson and Affeldt.
I later learned the Wilson and Affeldt had attempted to scale a mountain in Arizona... Epic.
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7. February 14, 7:27 PM. Valentine's Day.
4 of 10
Tweet: Happy Valentines Day women of the World...I would have sent flowers but Im currently in the desert, tried a cactus but UPS shut it down.
Cacti are pretty darn funny. They're prickly and strange-looking, but somehow awesome—a lot like Brian Wilson, himself.
The fact that Wilson is sending out some love to the ladies is a big bonus.
6. March 27, 6:31 PM. Liam Neeson.
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Tweet: Liam Neeson just said You're Welcome...for man handling fools that cross him. "He will find you"
I'm personally a big Liam Neeson fan, and the fact that Wilson references one of Neeson's movies, Taken, is sweet.
Wilson is also a known ninja, so anything relating to his "mental assassin" persona is going to be gold.
5. February 27, 7:29 PM. Oscars.
6 of 10
Tweet: Machine is up for an Oscar tonight...best dressed.
Since the Machine's first appearance, Wilson has interspersed his interesting friend (now revealed to be Pat Burrell) into many of his interviews. Epic chaos has ensued.
The thought of the Machine on stage with James Franco and Anne Hathaway? Priceless.
4. February 12, 4:32 PM. Chuck Norris.
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Tweet: I was passed by a Yeti on todays run, upon reaching the top I had learned Chuck Norris round housed him in the chin and made fur boots. Win!
This one is just so ridiculous, I can't even comprehend it's implications. Does it even mean anything at all? Hilarious nonetheless.
3. February 9, 7:51 PM. Jim Rome.
8 of 10
Tweet: @jimrome I woke up this morning and thought I was in the jungle...realized it was a dream. I need to be back, send me a vine!
If you remember correctly, Wilson's first appearance on Rome brought us the Machine's mask and all kinds of awesomeness on the closer's part. Rome, usually used to being the witty response man on his own show, was equaled and surpassed by Wilson.
Clearly, Brian wants to return and show Rome how it's done once again.
2. February 3, 8:28 PM. Machine.
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Tweet: Just got Machines report card in the mail, he's not doing so well in public speaking...he's dominating Metal Shop though.
This one's very self-explanatory...and while hilarious, also very disturbing.
1. March 5, 3:21 PM. Machine and Eddie Murphy?
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Tweet: Sorry World, ill be delving into Beverly Hills Cop marathon for the next few hours...Machine is watching Pulp Fiction on repeat. GOT EM!
The thought of Brian Wilson sitting on a large couch by himself watching all three Beverly Hills Cop movies (with some snacks) is just ridiculously funny.
Plus, with Eddie Murphy and the Machine mentioned in the same tweet, how can this not be the best one?
Speaking of the Machine, I wonder if he speaks English.
Why do I have the feeling that Samuel L. Jackson has asked the exact same question?
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