Grab A Couch and Escape: Easton Stewart's Guide To Finding Your Sportopia

Why do we enjoy sports?

Why is it that I complain about sitting in my office all day, staring at my computer screen, but then I come home at night and sit on my couch and stare at my television screen?

Why do I put up with the struggles of my team— the October-less Atlanta Braves, and write it off as "it's not their night tonight" or "we'll get em' next year." But when a co-worker is struggling at work I say "Get your crap figured out Johnson" or "you better start polishing your resume you filthy bum."

Why?

The answer is simple. Sports offer us something that we cannot get during our mundane time spent at work. There is something that comes to each of us while enjoying our worn out leather couch, our 32-inch 1994 television, our knock-off brand soda, and our homemade special chip dip. Escape—beautiful, beautiful escape.

The great Howard Cosell said it best when he stated that, "sports is the toy department of human life."

How true that is Mr. Cosell.

As eight-year-old kids across this great land get lost and find solace in the toy department,  so do we older and wiser (not always the case) "adults" find our escape and solace in sports.

As you prepare for a weekend full of pigskins, rawhide, stolen bases, fumbles, touchdowns, home runs, and competition—allow me to offer you five simple tips for enjoying your sports escape to the fullest.

1.Don't be a Cubs fan

You can't fall into the trap. You just can't. I have seen my closest friends (huge Cubbies fans) completely melt down and fall apart (something that is reserved for work, not your sports escape) at the sight of their Cubbies achieving sub-par results time after time. Do yourself a favor and avoid them all together this weekend.

2.Preparedness

In order for you to enjoy your escape to the fullest you can't not begin on a sour note. I offer this admonition: before you wiggle your body into the impression on your couch, make sure that all remotes, food, and beverages are in their respective spots.

Nothing ruins the enjoyment of your escape more than having to stand back up out of your impression and track down these luxuries. DO NOT SIT DOWN WITHOUT ALL NECESSARY MATERIALS IN THEIR CORRECT SPOTS.

3."Money ain't a thang"

I quote famous rapper Jay-Z. In our monotonous jobs, we are often grossly underpaid and in most cases Mr. Z was dead wrong... money is a huge "thang." However, for your full enjoyment of your escape, you cannot let money hold you down.

Encourage your wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend/children to go shopping. Encourage them to spend all day at the mall. Surprise them with your permission to have all three meals at local restaurants during the day. This will allow you the worry-free journey towards your full sports escape.

4.PIP

I cannot stress this enough—if your television does not hold the picture-in-picture (PIP) option, you desperately need it. The ability to view two (or more with better technology than I possess) games at the same time is priceless. PIP provides the opportunity for an otherwise regular escape to become an unforgettable escape. It is like having your cake and eating it to.

5.Forget, Forget, Forget

The last guideline for enjoying your escape is to make it just that—an escape. Leave your financial worries outside, and leave work problems at work on Friday (they will still be there Monday). Let yourself escape. Surrounded by sports, you can enjoy a certain sportopia.

Your sportopia is your place of escape and relaxation—enjoy.

Enjoy your sportopia escape and remember those 48 hours (Saturday and Sunday) are yours, and no one can take those away from you.