Miami Dolphins: The Most Underrated Depressed Franchise in All of Sports

Good day to all Miami Dolphins fans here on Bleacher Report.

I know it's been a while since I've said anything about the Dolphins, but in all honesty, to me, as long as the Ireland/Sparano regime is still intact, I can not possibly come up with a mock draft or Senior Bowl coverage on this team. Even though I could do what some of my fellow Dolphins B/R Featured Columnists did, it would be in vain.

See, the Miami Dolphins FCs on Bleacher Report are intelligent and talented individuals (not counting myself of course) who think with logic and reasoning and can tell you what's wrong with this team and how to fix it. The current Dolphins regime seems lost. To me, writing an article like that would be a waste of time and energy, not just because of the fact that guys like Robert Hoffman and Scott Altman already wrote them better than I could, but also because the Dolphins will flop and do the exact opposite of what they say. 

I know that, come draft day, they're going to make the wrong decision. Even though I've pimped him in the past, I'm already having nightmares about the Dolphins drafting Ryan Mallett, who during the Sugar Bowl showed me that he's more the second coming of Chad Henne than the second coming of Dan Marino.

Sadly, I also can't shake the feeling that the greatest victory at Sun Life Stadium in the next 14 months will either be the Undertaker running his Wrestlemania winning streak to 20-0 or the Marlins winning a World Series before moving into their new ballpark.

With what I just said, doesn't that qualify the Miami Dolphins as a depressing NFL franchise? Isn't Miami a depressing NFL city right now?

Not according to an analysis by Avvo, a company that provides free ratings for doctors and lawyers. Avvo did a survey on the 14 most depressing NFL cities. Miami was nowhere near the list despite the fact that the Dolphins haven't won a playoff game since 2000, have had two first-round playoff losses at home since 2000, and have, since 2004, only posted two winning seasons.

Yet some of the cities on the list have boasted some success that Dolfans at this point can only dream of.

Philadelphia has a bright future with Mike Vick at quarterback along with Desean Jackson and the rest of its explosive offense. Yet because of its lack of Super Bowl victories and decade of playoff flameouts, it ranked first.

Other cities whose football fortunes Miami would love to trade places with, such as Atlanta, San Diego, Seattle, Jacksonville and Nashville, are also on the list. Atlanta was 14-2 and NFC South Champions last season, Seattle, despite having the same record as the Dolphins, did get into the postseason and even recorded a win, and San Diego and Jacksonville were just barely nudged out of the playoffs, while in Nashville, the Titans, while now in rebuilding mode, have been a consistently decent team.

Of course, there are some teams on the list that do belong there before the Dolphins. Cincinnati, which ranks third behind Philly and Atlanta, should rank first. Houston should be high on the list, not because of the fact that the Texans seem doomed to either finish 7-9 or 8-8, but also because of the fact that the Oilers had a similar pattern while they were in Houston and made it to the Super Bowl only three years after moving to Tennessee.

Detroit, Buffalo and Minneapolis also belong on the list. For Detroit and Buffalo, they have seen stretches of futility that rival only the Chicago Cubs for excruciating, and for the Vikings it has been a history of always being the bridesmaid and losing in the most heartbreaking fashion imaginable. 

Then there's Cleveland, but how bad could it be if the Dolphins are hiring their offensive coordinator away from them?

Now there are other teams I'd put on that list other than the Dolphins. I feel bad for Redskins fans. Much like the Dolphins, they were an elite NFL franchise that would see their good name tarnished by incompetence. Same with the San Francisco 49ers and the Raiders. In many ways right now its a lot more depressing to be a Skins, Dolphins, Raiders or 49ers  fan than it is to be a fan of any of the teams mentioned (combined Super Bowl appearances by those four teams: 20.) 

All of those teams know what its like to be at the top. For many of their fans over the age of 25, they can still remember when they were relevant. Its more depressing to be terrible when you know what its like to be elite, than it is to be terrible when you don't know what the promised land is like. 

So how come the Dolphins aren't on the list? Based off of recent performance and an off-season that already has been filled with mistakes and misfires, the future actually looks worse than the recent past has been. Now, for the most part, Dolfans feel hopeless.

Isn't the feeling of hopelessness the very definition of depression?

Thomas Galicia is a fun-loving sports geek and author from Miami, Florida. He writes about the Miami Dolphins, Miami Heat, Miami Hurricanes and Chicago Cubs on BleacherReport.com. He currently resides in Miami. Follow him on twitter, @thomasgalicia, and check out his website, www.thomasgalicia.com.