Antonio Cromartie and the Funniest Bulletin-Board Quotes Ever

Antonio Cromartie is turning up the heat on the Jets-Patriots pressure cooker.

The New York Jets cornerback went off on a profanity-laced tirade Tuesday, slamming New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady.

This is the first time we've ever really heard someone rip into Brady, but I'm not sure it was the wisest move on the part of Cromartie.

The last thing the Jets need is to feed an already-hungry Brady some more motivational food.

But that's exactly what Cromartie did.

He isn't the only athlete that we've seen fire up the other team with some ill-timed words, though.

Here are the 10 funniest bulletin-board quotes ever.

10. Shannon Sharpe: "I Would Rather Die"

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Denver Broncos tight end Shannon Sharpe leaves the field January 4, 2004 at the RCA Dome, Indianapolis, after an AFC Wildcard game. The Indianapolis Colts defeated the Broncos 41 - 10. (Photo by Al Messerschmidt/Getty Images)

What would Shannon Sharpe rather do than play for Tom Coughlin?

"I would rather die in an abandoned building, by myself and my family not know anything, than play for him."

There's an idea: "Saw 7," starring Shannon Sharpe.

9. Antonio Cromartie: "F#$k Him."

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EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ - SEPTEMBER 19: Antonio Cromartie #31 of the New York Jets in action against the New England Patriots during their game on September 19, 2010 at the New Meadowlands Stadium in East Rutherford, New Jersey. (Photo by Al Bello/Getty I

Reporter: "Antonio, what do you think of Patriots quarterback Tom Brady?"

Cromartie: "An asshole." 

(Awkward silence).

"F#$k him."

It's OK, Antonio. I'd hate someone who pounded my team 45-3 just over a month ago, too.

8. Shannon Sharpe: "I'd Pour Honey On Him"

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Shannon Sharpe during Media Day prior to Super Bowl XLI at Dolphins Stadium in Miami, Florida on January 30, 2007. (Photo by Al Messerschmidt/Getty Images)

Don't invite Shannon Sharpe on your next camping trip.

Why? Here's what the former Denver Broncos tight end said about a certain Baltimore Ravens linebacker:

"Ray Lewis is the type of guy, if he were in a fight with a bear I wouldn't help him, I'd pour honey on him because he likes to fight. That's the type of guy Ray Lewis is."

Remove the bear, replace Ray Lewis with this chick and I'm all in.  

7. Jalen Rose Has No Faith In His Teammates

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DENVER - JANUARY 23: Jalen Rose #5 of the Toronto Raptors reacts to the taunting of a fan against the Denver Nuggets as the Nuggets defeated the Raptors 107-101 during NBA action on January 23, 2006 at the Pepsi Center in Denver, Colorado. (Photo by Dou

While a member of the Toronto Raptors, Jalen Rose was asked how many of his Raptors teammates were question marks.

His response: "You want me to take the time to count 'em? No comment."

This is one of the rare occasions when an athlete provides ammunition for the opposing team.

Even Jalen Rose didn't think his own team was any good.

6. Kris Jenkins Hates Warren Sapp

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CHARLOTTE, NC - NOVEMBER 16: Kris Jenkins #77 of the Carolina Panthers dances after a sack against the Washington Redskins on November 16, 2003 at Ericsson Stadium in Charlotte, North Carolina. (Photo by Craig Jones/Getty Images)

Ever wonder what former Carolina Panthers defensive tackle Kris Jenkins thinks of Warren Sapp?

"I hate him. Everybody says I'm supposed to be polite when I talk to you all, but I hate him. He talks too much, he doesn't make sense, he's fat, he's sloppy, he acts like he's the best thing since sliced bread.

"He's ugly, he stinks, his mouth stinks, his breath stinks, and basically his soul stinks, too. Not too many people have personalities like that and survive in life. I don't know how he does it."

I sense a little jealousy from Jenkins.

He's probably just pissed because he doesn't have a Super Bowl ring. 

5. Kevan Barlow: "He Reminds Me Of Kurt Warner"

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SEATTLE - DECEMBER 11: Kevan Barlow #34 of the San Francisco 49ers carries the ball during the game with the Seattle Seahawks on December 11, 2005 at Qwest Field in Seattle, Washington. The Seahawks won 41-3. (Photo by Otto Greule Jr/Getty Images)

When asked what he thought about Adam Sandler's performance in "The Longest Yard," former San Francisco 49ers running back Kevan Barlow decided to take a shot at Kurt Warner for some reason.

"He's an actor, not an athlete. I didn't buy him as a quarterback. I didn't buy him as a linebacker in 'The Waterboy' either. He's just so stiff, especially when he drops back to pass. Really stiff. He reminds me of Kurt Warner."

Stiff he may be, but Warner has a Super Bowl ring, two Super Bowl appearances and a couple of NFL MVPs.

Barlow was out of the league by age 28, and he's probably not gonna be the next Roger Ebert, either. 

4. Drew Bledsoe Challenges Tom Brady To a Race

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IRVING, TX - OCTOBER 23: Quarterback Drew Bledsoe #11 of the Dallas Cowboys during the game against the New York Giants at Texas Stadium on October 23, 2006 in Irving, Texas. The Giants defeated the Cowboys 36-22. (Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images)

The only reason Tom Brady ever took over in New England was because Drew Bledsoe got hurt.

And apparently Bledsoe still held a grudge against Brady when Bledsoe took over as the starting quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys.

"I'm not fast. But there are a lot of guys that are a hell of a lot slower than I am. Somebody wants to do a pay-per-view race between me and [Tom] Brady, sign me up."

Challenging Brady's speed? Really, Drew?

If speed was the only thing that mattered, the Oakland Raiders would win the Super Bowl every year.

3. Charlie Villanueva Thinks He's Tim Duncan

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ATLANTA - NOVEMBER 03: Charlie Villanueva #31 of the Detroit Pistons against the Atlanta Hawks at Philips Arena on November 3, 2010 in Atlanta, Georgia. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and/or using this Photogra

In 2005, Charlie Villanueva was drafted by the Toronto Raptors, and he had some high hopes about playing alongside Chris Bosh.

"We're like Tim Duncan and David Robinson. But a younger version. I really feel that."

Yeah, Charlie. And now that you're in Detroit, you and Ben Gordon are like Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen.

2. Pedro Martinez: "The Yankees Are My Daddy"

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ST LOUIS - OCTOBER 26: Starting pitcher Pedro Martinez #45 of the Boston Red Sox throws a pitch against the St. Louis Cardinals during the first inning of game three of the World Series on October 26, 2004 at Busch Stadium in St. Louis, Missouri. (Photo

After pitching in a 2004 loss to the New York Yankees, Boston Red Sox pitcher Pedro Martinez addressed his struggles against the Bronx Bombers.

"What can I say? I tip my hat and call the Yankees my daddy."

Rumor has it that the following night Derek Jeter gave Martinez a pacifier and rocked him to sleep while singing "Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star."

Nah, not really. But that would have been phenomenal.

1. Dan Gilbert: The Guarantee

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CLEVELAND - OCTOBER 27: Majority owner Dan Gilbert of the Cleveland Cavaliers talks to the media prior to playing the Boston Celtics in the Cavaliers 2010 home opner at Quicken Loans Arena on October 27, 2010 in Cleveland, Ohio. NOTE TO USER: User expre

When LeBron James bolted Cleveland to take his talents to South Beach, Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert issued a letter trashing James and his "egotistical" move to sign with the Heat.

"I personally guarantee that the Cleveland Cavaliers will win an NBA Championship before the self-titled former 'King' wins one," Gilbert wrote.

The Cavs are currently an NBA-worst 8-30 and have won one game since Nov. 27, 2010.

As long as the Heat don't win an NBA title this year, there's always next season, right?

Or not.