Nice Guys Finish Last: Donovan McNabb's NFL Career in Dating Terms

A Couple weeks ago, Washington Redskins head coach, Mike Shanahan dumped Donovan McNabb for Rex Grossman. Nice guys finish last is an often used axiom when it comes to dating. Apparently, no one ever told Washington Redskins QB, Donovan McNabb that.

When translated in dating terms, Donovan McNabb is the guy who opens doors, shows up with roses unexpectedly, and hides little love notes in his woman's purse. His woman however (football fans and coaches) have the dating attention span of a 20-year old college sophomore. She's enamored by the muscle-bound jocks, and the unruly frat boys that live across the street. They're bold and have swagger - brimming with confidence and game by the pound .

Donovan shows up on time for dates in his Ford Fusion, pulls out chairs, and always picks up the tab. The other guys drive trucks or motorcycles, play their music loud, can't tell you the last time they paid for meal on a date, and to them the grass is always greener on the other side.

She's drawn to them to them because they're dangerous, spontaneous, provide a level of excitement to the relationship, and quite honestly are more fun simply for their "I don't give a shit" factor. McNabb on the other hand is predictable and boring. He's the guy she knows would make a great dad some day and probably out-earn the other guys but for now he's just not that much fun.

Confused? Let me put this in football terms. The other quarterbacks drafted in the first round of the 1999 NFL Draft along with Donovan McNabb were Tim Couch, Akili Smith, Daunte Culpepper, and Cade McNown. And just in case you were thinking there were some late round steals in that draft, here are the names of the other quarterbacks taken in 1999; Shaun King, Brock Huard, Joe Germaine, Aaron Brooks, Kevin Daft (Who?), Michael Bishop, and Scott Covington. And for the Philadelphia Eagles fans who pined for Ricky Williams bad enough to rain down a chorus of boos on McNabb when he was drafted, the rest of us could only wish you'd been subjected to Ricky's social anxiety disorder, marijuana abuse and subsequent suspensions, retirement, journey to discovery, life as a recluse yogi in the California Sierra's, return to football and some relative normalcy.

Since being drafted in 1999, McNabb on the other hand has made 148 starts, thrown for 35,139 yards with a 58.9% completion percentage, 225 touchdowns, 111 interceptions, and a career QB rating of 85.8. he's the least intercepted quarterback (per pass attempt) of all time, sits behind Tom Brady with the second best touchdown to interception ratio at 209-96, and is one of only 5 quarterbacks to throw for 25,000 yards and rush for 3,000 yards in a career. The others were Steve Young, Randall Cunningham, Fran Tarkenton, Steve McNair and John Elway. He's been selected to the Pro Bowl six times over his 11 year career and led the Philadelphia Eagles to 4 consecutive NFC Championship games.

In his relationship with Andy Reid and The Philadelphia Eagles it always seemed like they thought they could do better and given the way Michael Vick is playing right now they may have been right but will only be vindicated if he leads them to and wins the Superbowl. In what seemed to many like a gracious act, when Andy Reid and the Eagles broke up with McNabb in football's equivalent of a "it's me not you" scenario, they introduced him to his their Mike Shanahan in D.C. who was still recovering from the break up of a long term relationship of his own. Maybe an older woman is what Donovan needed.

In McNabb, Shanahan thought he may have finally found the stable partner he was looking for you. He's mature, hardworking, and can make him laugh. We've all come to learn that their relationship isn't going to work either. Shanahan's a control freak and apparently a liar too. There was also never really a bond between them and his son kept getting in the way. The final straw came when Shanahan was caught cheating with Rex Grossman - the NFL's version of a fat, ugly girl.

If I could offer a piece of dating advice to Donovan McNabb right now it would be to be a little bit more selfish and demand what he wants in a relationship. A coach, organization, and fans who aren't sitting behind the wheel of a bus and waiting on him to cross the street. He's given all he could to every organization he's been a part of now it's time to engineer his own fate. According to ESPN's Adam Schefter, he'll be requesting his release at the end of the season. A good start if you ask me.

The next step is to find a partner that understands you, a team/coach that runs the West Coast offense and while you're at it, tighten up your image, hit the gym and lose a couple pounds and add a little spunk to your game because we all know that while being a talented gentleman will get you far an asshole with a great body always wins out—just ask Brett Favre.

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