Twas the Night Before Christmas in the NHL

Twas the night before Christmas, no games on this night. Eric Godard was depressed—there was nobody to fight;

The gear was hung in the dressing room with care, in hopes it would smell better with a little bit of air;

The players were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of Lord Stanley's Mug danced in their heads;

And Lecavalier with the Lightning and Ovechkin with the Caps had just settled down for their pregame naps;

When on the TV there was such a clatter, the players sprang from their beds to see what was the matter;

On the sports channel there was a news flash—the NHL was going 80s like George Parros's moustache;

The Islanders on the chest of new general manager Garth Snow, who gave a hefty pay raise to Rick DiPietro;

When what to all the players' eyes should appear, but a bunch of retired players, wearing all their old gear;

With a Sabres jersey and not too much hair, they knew in a moment that it was Danny Gare;

More rapid then Crosby the players they came, Gare whistled and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now Savard! Now, Trottier! Now, Gretzky and Goulet! On, Bossy! on, Yzerman! on, Stastny and you too Messier!

To the arena, we will once again score! And these 1-0 games will happen no more!"

As they took to center ice, the ref dropped the puck—Robitaille netted three, some guys have all the luck;

Into the third period it was nine to seven, Lemieux tied it soon after, the fans were in heaven;

And then in a twinkling, the players saw on the wire, that these guys were making less and would force them to retire!

Brodeur canceled his credit cards, Jagr sold his car, Zetterberg signed in Europe and Shanny opened a bar;

The game we all loved was back it seemed—but alas, Bettman woke up and it was all just a dream;

He sprang out of his bed, and got on the phone, and told all the executives to leave the game alone!

As he was hanging up, he was sure he heard Ted Saskin say, Have a Merry Christmas—we always wanted it that way!