2010 NFL Week 2 Power Rankings: New Orleans Saints Reign, Green Bay Packers Gain

Run-on Rundown: Peyton bests Eli in Manning war, supposedly bust Jets beat supposedly beast Patriots, Texans are real, the Vikings and Cowboys are fake, the Buccaneers and Chiefs remain undefeated, and Mike Vick kills Lions instead of dogs.

Climb of the Week: Chicago Bears (+8)

Fall of the Week: Minnesota Vikings (-14)

This week's special guest: Dave Chappelle

Here are the updated week two power rankings:

Warning: Your team may be made fun of.  If you can't take it, tough.

1. New Orleans Saints 2-0 (Last Week: 1) – The Saints come out on top in another close contest with Drew Brees leading the way.

They don’t call him “Cool Brees” for nothing. He’s coldblooded.

2. Green Bay Packers 2-0 (Last Week: 5) – Forget Defensive Player of the Year; Clay Matthews for MVP. Six sacks in two games and he walked on at USC. 

Feel that Reggie Bush.

3. Indianapolis Colts 1-1 (Last Week: 6) – Peyton Manning is leading the league in passing yards and touchdowns. What a surprise.

4. Houston Texans 2-0 (Last Week: 7) – In Week 1, the Texans steam rolled Indianapolis on the ground with Arian Foster. 

In Week 2, they attacked Washington with an aerial assault executed by Matt Schaub, Andre Johnson, and Kevin Walter. No offense in the league is more dominant right now.

5. New York Jets 1-1 (Last Week: 9) – “The Jets offense is a joke!”  “Mark Sanchez is a bust!” 

This is how the Jets and Sanchez respond to their doubters against heavily favored New England team.

6. New England Patriots 1-1 (Last Week: 3) – The “Slouch” managed to escape from Revis Island, but the Patriots weren’t able to distance from themselves from New York in the division race.

7. Baltimore Ravens 1-1 (Last Week: 2) – Joe Flacco has five interceptions in two games. 

Adding Anquan Boldin, T.J. Houshmanzadeh, Donte Stallworth, Dennis Pitta, and Ed Dickson isn’t enough apparently.

8. Pittsburgh Steelers 2-0 (Last Week: 12) – Let’s see how many games the Steelers offense can go without scoring an offensive touchdown in regulation. 

With Troy Polomalu leading that defense, all they need is Jeff Reed kicking field goals to win games.

9. San Diego Chargers 1-1 (Last Week: 13) – The Chargers refused to be shown up by a mediocre team for the second straight game. 

The defense led the charge forcing six turnovers.

10. Philadelphia Eagles 1-1 (Last Week: 14) – The old Mike Vick is officially back and he has better weapons than he ever had in Atlanta. 

Better not say weapons and Mike Vick in the same sentence, but LeSean McCoy proved to be lethal rushing for three touchdowns.

11. Cincinnati Bengals 1-1 (Last Week: 15) – The Bengals media hungry offense hasn’t won the team a game.

The Tweeting Two should give some Twitter love to that secondary.

12. Miami Dolphins 2-0 (Last Week: 16) – The Dolphins defense is playing more like sharks in 2010. 

They are second in the league in points surrendered.

13. Atlanta Falcons 1-1 (Last Week: 19) – The fantasy football hot pickup of the week Jason Snelling recorded 186 yards from scrimmage and three touchdowns. 

Michael who?

14. New York Giants 1-1 (Last Week: 10) – Eli Manning has turned the ball over six times already this year. 

He has to outdo Peyton at something. If it can’t be passing, turnovers it is.

15. Tennessee Titans 1-1 (Last Week: 11) – The wise Jeff Fisher went on to bench the same quarterback who went into a depression the last time he was taken out, genius. 

Of course, seeing your football team turn the ball over seven times can make any coach go insane.

16. Chicago Bears 2-0 (Last Week: 24) – The number 121 applies to one of the Bears players statistics. 

Hint: Jay Cutler is the player.  No, not interceptions, Cutler’s quarterback rating; 121.2 to be exact.

17. Kansas City Chiefs 2-0 (Last Week: 22) – One week, the Chiefs win with explosive plays, the next with field goals. 

Whatever it takes, but this team won’t make the playoffs if Matt Cassel doesn’t improve.

18. Minnesota Vikings 0-2 (Last Week: 4) – Brett Favre can join his team whenever he wants to because he’s Brett Favre. 

Yeah, that’s working out well (Insert Dave Chappelle Rick James laugh).

19. Dallas Cowboys 0-2 (Last Week: 8) – Thankfully for the Cowboys, they have an early bye. 

They are going to need every second of extra time to regroup especially if they lose to instate foe Houston next week.

20. Jacksonville Jaguars 1-1 (Last Week: 17) – So much for silencing his critics. 

David Garrard showed America how to lose your job on Sunday: throw four interceptions.

21. Washington Redskins 1-1 (Last Week: 18) – Mike Shanahan’s previously dominant zone-blocking scheme is non-existent in Washington. 

The Redskins are averaging 53.5 yards a game on the ground.

22. San Francisco 49ers 0-2 (Last Week: 21) – San Francisco turned the ball over four times to the defending champs and only lost by three, but they got beat down last week by Seattle. 

Good thing they are in the worst division in the league, by far.

23. Denver Broncos 1-1 (Last Week: 26) – Kyle Orton is playing better than anyone could have asked to start the season. 

Definitely can’t say the same for Know-yawn Moreno, who’s averaging 2.8 yards a carry.

24. Oakland Raiders 1-1 (Last Week: 27) – Al Davis didn’t blow every Raider first round pick in the last half-dozen years. 

Darren McFadden has over 300 all-purpose yards this season.

25. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 2-0 (Last Week: 28) – One more win and the Buccaneers will match their win total from last season. 

Anyone who says they predicted Josh Freeman would start out better than Matt Stafford and Mark Sanchez is a big fat liar.

26. Carolina Panthers 0-2 (Last Week: 20) – Time for the Jimmie Clausen era to begin in Carolina. 

They should have traded Matt Moore while he still had value.

27. Arizona Cardinals 1-1 (Last Week: 23) – Right now, Ken Whisenhunt wishes that Kurt Warner was as indecisive about playing football as Brett Favre is. 

The Cardinals offense is a shell of its former self.

28. Seattle Seahawks 1-1 (Last Week: 25) – OK, maybe last week’s win over the 49ers was a fluke. 

Matt Hasselbeck relapsed on his addiction of throwing balls to the other team.

29. Detroit Lions 0-2 (Last Week: 29) – Jahvid Best recorded 232 yards from scrimmage and three touchdowns on just 26 carries. 

Sure, the Lions are 0-2, but they just found Chris Johnson junior. 

Matt Stafford, Calvin Johnson, and Best equal the new Triplets.

30. St. Louis Rams 0-2 (Last Week: 30) – Sam Bradford’s top receivers include Laurent Robinson, Danny Amendola, and Mark Clayton. 

I bet he wishes he would have declared for the NFL draft a year early now. 

It’s not even about the shoulder injury; he could be throwing to Calvin Johnson right now.

31. Cleveland Browns 0-2 (Last Week: 31) – The Browns could easily be 2-0 right now, but they’re the Browns so they are 0-2. 

Way to blow it against two sub-par teams; upcoming schedule includes Baltimore, Cincinnati, Atlanta, Pittsburgh, New Orleans, New England, and the Jets: 0-9.

32. Buffalo Bills 0-2 (Last Week: 32) – C.J. Spiller offensive production for the week: one carry for three yards and four catches for 23 yards. 

Oh Canada!  Our home and native land!