Fantasy Football Names: The 50 Funniest of 2010

Ross LipschultzAnalyst ISeptember 7, 2010

Fantasy Football Names: The 50 Funniest of 2010

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    CHARLOTTE, NC - AUGUST 28:  Runningback Chris Johnson #28 of the Tennessee Titans walks on the sidelines before  the start of their preseason game against the Carolina Panthers at Bank of America Stadium on August 28, 2010 in Charlotte, North Carolina. (P
    Mary Ann Chastain/Getty Images

    The NFL season is only a few days away from it’s highly anticipated start, and everyone knows what that means.

    It’s fantasy time.

    Fantasy Football has swept the nation faster than a series against the Baltimore Orioles. Almost every sports website offers some kind of league, allowing amateurs and newbies to get in on the joy.

    The experts, on the other hand, will see you in Vegas.

    Sorry, strippers. With football starting Thursday, it’s gonna be a slow weekend.

    But whether you are a veteran or a rookie in the game, you still need to name your team. Should it be basic? Rude? Lewd?

    That’s up to you. However, if you are interested in some hilarious choices, look no further. Some of these team names will have your league mates learning what it actually feels like to LOL.

    Now, just pray they don’t type it.

    Oh, wait...

    Follow me on Twitter and read more at L.A. Sports Examiner.

50. To Hell in a Hank Baskett

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    MIAMI GARDENS, FL - FEBRUARY 07:  Chris Reis #39 of the New Orleans Saints fight for the ball against Hank Baskett #81 of the Indianapolis Colts after a onside kick to start the second half with during Super Bowl XLIV on February 7, 2010 at Sun Life Stadi
    Chris Graythen/Getty Images

    Not only is this a good team name, but it's also an excellent way to describe the Super Bowl XLIV to Colts' fans.

    What, too soon?

49. The Karate Kitna

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    SAN DIEGO - AUGUST 21: Quarterback Jon Kitna #3 of the Dallas Cowboys in action during the pre-season NFL football game against San Diego Chargers at Qualcomm Stadium on August 21, 2010 in San Diego, California.  (Photo by Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images)
    Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images

    For all the playing time Kitna will have this year, he could use a new hobby.

    Maybe he can have his Black Belt test in the new Cowboys Stadium.

48. Flacco Seagulls

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    BALTIMORE - AUGUST 28:  Joe Flacco #5 of the Baltimore Ravens passes against the New York Giants at M&T Bank Stadium on August 28, 2010 in Baltimore, Maryland. The Ravens lead the Giants 17-3. (Photo by Larry French/Getty Images)
    Larry French/Getty Images

    This haircut will make even the hardest of men cry of laughter.

    And if Flacco picks up this 'do, you know your team is destined for glory.

47. Texas Chainsaw Massaquoi

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    KANSAS CITY, MO - DECEMBER 20:  Mohamed Massaquoi #11 of the Cleveland Browns reacts during their NFL game against the Kansas City Chiefs on December 20, 2009 at Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City, Missouri. The Browns defeated the Chiefs 41-34. (Photo by J
    Jamie Squire/Getty Images

    Playing in Cleveland is so bad, don't be surprised if Massaquoi makes his own sequel.

    Just don't go after my aunt. She was in the original.

46. Iupati Like It's 1999

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    INDIANAPOLIS, IN - FEBRUARY 27: Offensive lineman Mike Iupati of Idaho runs the 40 yard dash during the NFL Scouting Combine presented by Under Armour at Lucas Oil Stadium on February 27, 2010 in Indianapolis, Indiana. (Photo by Scott Boehm/Getty Images)
    Scott Boehm/Getty Images

    Break out the Tamagotchis and Pokémon cards, because it's a blast from the past!

    And if you don't like the name, try telling Iupati that.

    He'll probably eat you.

45. Show Me Your TD's

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    If your league is for enough money, she just might.

    Unless you're a Cowboys' fan.

44. Forgetting Brandon Marshall

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    JACKSONVILLE, FL - AUGUST 21:  Brandon Marshall #19 of the Miami Dolphins prepares to run a route during the preseason game against the Jacksonville Jaguars at EverBank Field on August 21, 2010 in Jacksonville, Florida.  (Photo by Sam Greenwood/Getty Imag
    Sam Greenwood/Getty Images

    Denver Broncos fans should be required to name their teams this.

    They just wish they could be Forgetting Josh McDaniels instead

43. Orton Hears a Who

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    DENVER - AUGUST 29:  Quarterback Kyle Orton #8 of the Denver Broncos celebrates a touchdown by teammate LenDale White in the first quarter against the Pittsburgh Steelers during preseason NFL action at INVESCO Field at Mile High on August 29, 2010 in Denv
    Doug Pensinger/Getty Images

    Dr. Seuss doesn't get nearly enough love in the sporting world.

    Well, unless you tailgate with Green Eggs and Buffalo Wings like I do.

43. John David Booty Call

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    IRVING, TX - AUGUST 28:  Quarterback John David Booty #4 of the Minnesota Vikings makes the play call in the huddle against the Dallas Cowboys on August 28, 2008 at Texas Stadium in Irving, Texas.  The Cowboys won 16-10.  (Photo by Brian Bahr/Getty Images
    Brian Bahr/Getty Images

    Booty definitely wishes he stayed in college for a lot longer.

    The girls for a starting QB at USC are infinitely better than those for a third stringer in Houston.

41. L.T.'s Illegal Contact

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    NEW YORK - APRIL 22:  Former NFL Players Dieon Sanders and Lawrence Taylor stand on stage during the 2010 NFL Draft at Radio City Music Hall on April 22, 2010 in New York City.  (Photo by Jeff Zelevansky/Getty Images)
    Jeff Zelevansky/Getty Images

    Even Deion looks concerned.

    And that's saying something.

40. Romosexual Tendencies

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    HOUSTON - AUGUST 28: Quarterback Tony Romo #9 of the Dallas Cowboys is hit from behind as he let's the ball go during a football game against the Houston Texans at Reliant Stadium on August 28, 2010 in Houston, Texas. Houston won 23-7. (Photo by Bob Levey
    Bob Levey/Getty Images

    With the terrific babes Romo has dated in the past, it's clear he has none of these tendencies.

    Sadly, he will always remember for his fumbled balls against Seattle.

39. Big Ben Her Over

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    PITTSBURGH - SEPTEMBER 02: Ben Roethlisberger #7 of the Pittsburgh Steelers drops back to pass against the Carolina Panthers during the preseason game on September 2, 2010 at Heinz Field in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Jared Wickerham/Getty Images)
    Jared Wickerham/Getty Images

    It's hard to make fun of Roethlisberger the day his teammates no longer want him to be a captain.

    Wait, sorry. I meant "ridiculously easy."

38. Addai in Your Sleep

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    INDIANAPOLIS - SEPTEMBER 02:  Joseph Addai #29 of the Indianapolis Colts watches from the sidelines during the NFL preseason game against the Cincinnati Bengals at Lucas Oil Stadium on September 2, 2010 in Indianapolis, Indiana.  (Photo by Andy Lyons/Gett
    Andy Lyons/Getty Images

    Just a cruel message for the teams who dare challenge your studly roster.

    Nothing more, nothing less.

37. Burrested Development

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    LEBANON - JANUARY 14: New York Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress arrives at the Lebanon County Courthouse January 14, 2009 in Lebanon, Pa.  Burress is scheduled to appear in a civil trial in a dispute with an automobile dealer over what he owes in dama
    Chris Gardner/Getty Images

    A great show combined with Burress' hilarious escapades makes this name gold.

    More importantly, however, is why Plax is doing Blue Steel in the picture.

36. DeShaun's Foster Kids

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    SAN FRANCISCO - NOVEMBER 16:  DeShaun Foster #29 of the San Francisco 49ers carries the ball during the game against the St. Louis Rams on November 16, 2008 at Candlestick Park in San Francisco, California. (Photo by Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images)
    Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images

    Jokes about illegitimate children and athletes never get old.

    And if you don't like it, go pay their child support.

    Exactly.

35. Ahman the Inactive List, Again

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    CHICAGO - DECEMBER 13: Ahman Green #34 of the Green Bay Packers runs against the Chicago Bears at Soldier Field on December 13, 2009 in Chicago, Illinois. The Packers defeated the Bears 21-14. (Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images)
    Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

    Green was a big fan of the injury bug.

    Sadly, this name comes with a ton of bad karma. So hopefully you aren't Buddhist.

34. Scratching Your Cotchery

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    SAN DIEGO - JANUARY 17:  Wide receiver Jerricho Cotchery #89 of the New York Jets is tackled after making a catch against the San Diego Chargers during the AFC Divisional Playoff Game at Qualcomm Stadium on January 17, 2010 in San Diego, California.  (Pho
    Donald Miralle/Getty Images

    A man's name for a man's team in a man's activity.

    Just keep it private.

33. Bros Before Shiancoes

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    NEW ORLEANS - JANUARY 24:  Visanthe Shiancoe #81 of the Minnesota Vikings makes a one handed catch against Tracy Porter #22 of the New Orleans Saints during the NFC Championship Game at the Louisiana Superdome on January 24, 2010 in New Orleans, Louisiana
    Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

    It's Man Rule No. 1.

    Never abandon friends for tight ends from Minnesota.

    Except if they look like this.

32. Offconstantly

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    EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ - SEPTEMBER 02:  Randy Moss #81 of the New England Patriots looks on against the New York Giants on September 2, 2010 at the New Meadowlands Stadium in East Rutherford, New Jersey. The Giants defeated the Patriots 20-17.  (Photo by Jim
    Jim McIsaac/Getty Images

    This name doesn't really make sense on it's own.

    During trash talk, however, it's genius.

    Why? Because no one can beat Offconstantly.

31. Tate That Doughnut

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    SEATTLE - AUGUST 14:  Wide receiver Golden Tate #81 of the Seattle Seahawks rushes during the preseason game against Jason McCourty #30 of the Tennessee Titans at Qwest Field on August 14, 2010 in Seattle, Washington. (Photo by Otto Greule Jr/Getty Images
    Otto Greule Jr/Getty Images

    The ex-Notre Dame stud made the news with his pastry theft over the summer.

    Translate his effort to your fantasy team, and you've got a winner.

    Or a bunch of criminals.

30. Oh My God, They Killed Henne!

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    ARLINGTON, TX - SEPTEMBER 02:  Quarterback Chad Henne #7 of the Miami Dolphins  during a preseason game at Cowboys Stadium on September 2, 2010 in Arlington, Texas.  (Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images)
    Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

    Slight bias here, since South Park is a personal favorite.

    Remember, don't draft Chad Henne with this name. You won't feel as bad if you end up being right.

29. I Dream of Mangini

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    BEREA, OH - AUGUST 04:  Head coach Eric Mangini of the Cleveland Browns looks on during training camp at the Cleveland Browns Training and Administrative Complex on August 4, 2010 in Berea, Ohio.  (Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)
    Gregory Shamus/Getty Images

    No amount of plastic surgery will make Mangini look like Barbara Eden in her heyday.

    However, plastic surgery has made Eden look worse than Mangini.

28. Armed Schaubbery

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    HOUSTON - SEPTEMBER 02:  Quarterback Matt Schaub #8 of the Houston Texans warms up before a preseason game against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Reliant Stadium on September 2, 2010 in Houston, Texas.  (Photo by Bob Levey/Getty Images)
    Bob Levey/Getty Images

    Let's go out on a limb and say Schaub will never be accused of robbery anytime soon.

    But if Schaub falls past the sixth round in your draft, be prepared to be accused.

27. Pimpin' Ain't Breesy

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    NEW ORLEANS - AUGUST 27:  Drew Brees #9 of the New Orleans Saints in action against the San Diego Chargers at the Louisiana Superdome on August 27, 2010 in New Orleans, Louisiana.  (Photo by Chris Graythen/Getty Images)
    Chris Graythen/Getty Images

    Actually, according to "I Know Black People," pimpin' can be easy.

    Once you win your league, you will know what I mean.

26. Body by Mangini

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    BEREA, OH - AUGUST 04:  Head coach Eric Mangini of the Cleveland Browns looks on during training camp at the Cleveland Browns Training and Administrative Complex on August 4, 2010 in Berea, Ohio.  (Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)
    Gregory Shamus/Getty Images

    Never wish this upon anyone.

    Manboobs are disgusting.

25. Drivin' with Donte'

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    NASHVILLE, TN - DECEMBER 7:   Donte Stallworth #18 of the Cleveland Browns carries the ball during the game against the Tennessee Titans on December 7, 2008 at LP Field in Nashville, Tennessee.  (Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images)
    Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

    Okay, maybe not with him. Try staying a few lanes away.

    Even if it's at a Go Cart track.

24. Travis Henry's Kids

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    OAKLAND, CA - DECEMBER 2: Travis Henry #20 of the Denver Broncos carries the ball during the NFL game against the Oakland Raiders on December 2, 2007 at McAfee Coliseum in Oakland, California. (Photo by Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images)
    Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images

    When I was little, I always wished I had enough brothers to field competitive sports teams on our own.

    With nine kids with nine different women, Henry's offspring are almost there.

23. Ease It In, Don't Forsett

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    OAKLAND, CA - SEPTEMBER 02:  Justin Forsett #20 of the Seattle Seahawks runs against the Oakland Raiders during an NFL preseason game at Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum on September 2, 2010 in Oakland, California.  (Photo by Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images)
    Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images

    This isn't just a great fantasy football name.

    It's great life advice, too.

22. Boldin the Beautiful

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    BALTIMORE - AUGUST 28:  Anquan Boldin #81 of the Baltimore Ravens makes a catch during the game against the New York Giants at M&T Bank Stadium on August 28, 2010 in Baltimore, Maryland. The Ravens lead the Giants 17-3. (Photo by Larry French/Getty Images
    Larry French/Getty Images

    Any time combining soap operas and football is an option, it must be done.

    Sadly, there's no last name close enough to "Degrassi" for a pun.

21. Revis and Butthead

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    LOS ANGELES, CA - JULY 14:  NFL defensive back  back Darrelle Revis arrives at the 2010 ESPY Awards at Nokia Theatre L.A. Live on July 14, 2010 in Los Angeles, California.  (Photo by Alexandra Wyman/Getty Images for ESPY)
    Alexandra Wyman/Getty Images

    The name works on so many levels, and I haven't started on his clothing choices.

20. The Guns of Hochuli

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    DENVER - AUGUST 21:  Referee Ed Hochuli oversees the action between the Denver Broncos and the Detroit Lions during preseason NFL action at INVESCO Field at Mile High on August 21, 2010 in Denver, Colorado. The Lions defeated the Broncos 25-20.  (Photo by
    Doug Pensinger/Getty Images

    This guy clearly wishes he was playing the sport he watches.

    Sound like someone you know?

19. What Would Jones-Drew?

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    MIAMI GARDENS, FL - JANUARY 31:  Maurice Jones-Drew #32 of the Jacksonville Jaguars reacts aftrer a touchdown during the 2010 AFC-NFC Pro Bowl at Sun Life Stadium on January 31, 2010 in Miami Gardens, Florida.  (Photo by Doug Benc/Getty Images)
    Doug Benc/Getty Images

    Atheist football fans must pick this team name.

    And ex-Christians should as well, because their WWJD bracelets still make sense.

18. I'm Thinkin' RBs

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    CHARLOTTE, NC - AUGUST 28:  Runningback Chris Johnson #28 of the Tennessee Titans is tackled by Chris Gamble #20 of the Carolina Panthers during their preseason game at Bank of America Stadium on August 28, 2010 in Charlotte, North Carolina. (Photo by Mar
    Mary Ann Chastain/Getty Images

    Many fantasy footballers should be thinking about running backs, considering they are some of the biggest contributors.

    Sadly, the only running back you will find at Arby's is LenDale White.

17. Eli, the Other White Manning

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    EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ - SEPTEMBER 02:  Eli Manning #10 of the New York Giants looks to pass against the New England Patriots on September 2, 2010 at the New Meadowlands Stadium in East Rutherford, New Jersey.  (Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images)
    Jim McIsaac/Getty Images

    The younger Manning gets as much love as a redheaded stepchild.

    With this team name, you can show Eli you aren't just a chicken fan.

16. Sippin' on Ginn and Juice

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    OAKLAND, CA - AUGUST 28: Ted Ginn #19 of the San Francisco 49er runs after a catch against Michael Huff #24 of the Oakland Raiders during an NFL preseason game at Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum on August 28, 2010 in Oakland, California. (Photo by Jed Jac
    Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images

    Snoop Dogg references are always good in my book.

    Sadly, receivers who constantly under-impress are not.

15. Maclin on Chicks

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    CINCINNATI - AUGUST 20:  Jeremy Maclin #18 of the Philadelphia Eagles is pictured during the NFL preseason game against the Cincinnati Bengals at Paul Brown Stadium on August 20, 2010 in Cincinnati, Ohio.  (Photo by Andy Lyons/Getty Images)
    Andy Lyons/Getty Images

    This can be a team name and a motto for life.

    Just don't be like Maclin's Eagles.

    Actually win something.

14. I'm Bringing Hasselbeck

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    OAKLAND, CA - SEPTEMBER 02:  Matt Hasselbeck #8 of the Seattle Seahawks looks on against the Oakland Raiders during an NFL preseason game at Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum on September 2, 2010 in Oakland, California.  (Photo by Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images
    Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images

    If your sexy looks anything like this guy, you have my condolences.

13. All Avant for Christmas

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    PHILADELPHIA - DECEMBER 27 : Jason Avant #81 of the Philadelphia Eagles celebrates after scoring a touchdown in the third quarter against the Denver Broncos at Lincoln Financial Field on December 27, 2009 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Jim McIsa
    Jim McIsaac/Getty Images

    All I want for Christmas is to never rely on Jason Avant for fantasy points.

    Or anything, for that matter.

12. Pacman's Rain

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    GEORGETOWN, KY - JULY 31:  Adam Jones #24 of the Cincinnati Bengals is pictured during the Bengals training camp at Georgetown College on July 31, 2010 in Georgetown, Kentucky.  (Photo by Andy Lyons/Getty Images)
    Andy Lyons/Getty Images

    It's fairly obvious that Pacman has some of the most expensive rain in the entire world.

    Hopefully, your players don't follow the behavior of the team's namesake.

11. Peyton Makes It Wayne

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    MIAMI GARDENS, FL - FEBRUARY 07:  Quarterback Peyton Manning #18 and wide receiver  Reggie Wayne #87 of the Indianapolis Colts warm up prior to Super Bowl XLIV against the New Orleans Saints on February 7, 2010 at Sun Life Stadium in Miami Gardens, Florid
    Doug Benc/Getty Images

    Funny? Yes.

    True? Yes.

    Rap Reference? Yes.

    It has it all.

10. Casselblanca

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    KANSAS CITY, MO - AUGUST 27: Matt Cassel #7 of the Kansas City Chiefs drops back to pass during a preseason game against the Philadelphia Eagles at Arrowhead Stadium on August 27, 2010 in Kansas City, Missouri.  (Photo by G. Newman Lowrance/Getty Images)
    G. Newman Lowrance/Getty Images

    Humphrey Bogart's movies are absolutely fantastic, and this name reminds me of one of his finest films.

    Plus, it also means you shouldn't draft Matt Cassel.

    Which is always good.

9. My Johnson + Her Bush = A Crabtree

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    SANTA CLARA, CA - AUGUST 02:  Michael Crabtree #15 works out during the San Francisco 49ers training camp at their training complex on August 2, 2010 in Santa Clara, California.  (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)
    Ezra Shaw/Getty Images

    There's plenty of Johnsons and Bushes in the NFL.

    But, luckily, only one case of Crabtree.

8. It's On Like Ndamukong

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    DETROIT - SEPTEMBER 02: Ndamukong Suh #90 of the Detroit Lions watches the action during the preseason game against the Buffalo Bills at Ford Field on September 2, 2010 in Detroit, Michigan. The Lions defeated the Bills 28-23.  (Photo by Leon Halip/Getty
    Leon Halip/Getty Images

    This may not be funny to the average fan.

    But I use this saying all the time, and so should you.

7. Somewhere Over Dwayne Bowe

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    ATLANTA - AUGUST 13:  Dwayne Bowe #82 of the Kansas City Chiefs looks on during the game against the Atlanta Falcons at Georgia Dome on August 13, 2010 in Atlanta, Georgia.  (Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images)
    Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

    Hawaiian ukulele classics should be played every time one of your players scores.

    Just make sure it's played by this guy.

6. Larry Csonka and the Chocolate Factory

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    DETROIT - FEBRUARY 03:  Super Bowl MVPs Larry Csonka and Joe Namath attend the NFL Commissioner Paul Tagliabue's press conference on Feburary 3,2006 at the Renaissance Center in Detroit, Michigan .  (Photo by Andy Lyons/Getty Images)
    Andy Lyons/Getty Images

    C'mon, its obvious you want to see Gene Wilder and Zonk parade through the chocolate factory.

    Don't worry, your best running back won't become a giant blueberry midseason if you don't pick this name.

5. Codeine Makes Me Jolly

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    GLENDALE, AZ - JANUARY 03:  Johnny Jolly #97 of the Green Bay Packers looks on from the field against the Arizona Cardinals at University of Phoenix Stadium on January 3, 2010 in Glendale, Arizona.  (Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images)
    Jamie Squire/Getty Images

    Players who face felony drug charges deserved to be mocked in fantasy football.

    Sadly, JaMarcus Russell puns are not nearly as funny as this one.

4. Kibbles and Vicks

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    PHILADELPHIA - SEPTEMBER 02: Michael Vick #7 of the Philadelphia Eagles drops back to pass during a preseason game against the New York Jets at Lincoln Financial Field on September 2, 2010 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Jeff Zelevansky/Getty Ima
    Jeff Zelevansky/Getty Images

    This will never get old.

3. Snakes on a Reggie Wayne

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    MIAMI GARDENS, FL - FEBRUARY 07: Reggie Wayne #87 reaches for the ball against the Indianapolis Colts of the New Orleans Saints during Super Bowl XLIV on February 7, 2010 at Sun Life Stadium in Miami Gardens, Florida.  (Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Imag
    Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

    A cult classic, and an amazing movie.

    Combine it with a sensational wideout, and the team is due for victory.

2. Sick and Tired of All Your Craphonso

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    INDIANAPOLIS - NOVEMBER 18: Craphonso Thrope #15 of the Indianapolis Colts carries the ball during of the game against the Kansas City Chiefs on November 18, 2007 at the RCA Dome in Indianapolis, Indiana. The Colts defeated the Chiefs 13-10. (Photo by Dil
    Dilip Vishwanat/Getty Images

    Craphonso Thorpe has one of the worst names in the NFL.

    Which immediately gives him one of the best in fantasy.

1. Do Us All a Favre and Retire

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    MINNEAPOLIS - SEPTEMBER 02:  Brett Favre #4 of the Minnesota Vikings stretches during warmups prior to an NFL preseason game against the Denver Broncos at the Mall of America Field at Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome, on September 2, 2010 in Minneapolis, Minn
    Tom Dahlin/Getty Images

    Seriously, please do.

    Another summer of this fiasco, and I may have to cancel my cable package.

    Who's with me?

    Follow me on Twitter and read more at L.A. Sports Examiner.